|Reviews for I, Magus: Memoirs of a Prophet|
| Shade40 chapter 12 . 4/30/2009
I can't say I enjoyed this story very much. It is much too original for me. I prefer stories that I believe could realistically happen in the game, and I can't see this story happening. However, I hope saying that it is so original can be taken as a compliment. By chapter 10, the scenes resolve into more what I was expecting and I liked those chapters the most.
So after having said that, what kind of comments can I make? The story itself was good; I don't recall any parts that were in obvious need of fixing. I don't think I was ever bored or confused. You had a good balance between action, conversation, description, and thoughts. There were many times where you had some spelling and grammatical errors, but they were not blaringly obvious mistakes and can in general be excused. You followed a plot that was not too thick nor too thin, having just enough before the reader would become lost while preventing them from being lazy. This story is not designed to be an easy, simple read. Perhaps it was a tad too introspective, but people who look for Magus fanfics are most likely looking for some introspection (at least to me, that's what I'm looking for the most). The story is perhaps a bit long for what happens in it; it could be shortened without sacrificing anything.
Your original characters Jarl and Alundra were probably the most jarring thing present. I didn't know what to make of them at all. Having no idea of what they were in the story for or what their purpose was, I really just waited to see what would happen with them. I didn't feel any real connection to them. Zephyrain, I liked a tad more. His role was similar to Gaspar's role to Crono's party, an advice-giver pointing Magus in the right direction, but his history is left unrevealed, and perhaps if the story had taken a slightly different path, I would have liked to see some more involving him. I suspect I liked his attitude more than anything else.
There were ideas I hated, and ideas I liked a lot. Where Jarl confronts Schala in her room while Magus watches, I hated that. Not just because it is a situation we don't want to see happen and held a great deal of awkward horror, but because I never really understood Jarl's motives. Was all he was aiming for was to make Schala hate Magus? The motives here eluded me, and I can't say whether it's because I'm slow or if because they were not made clear enough. I disliked the confusion of Magus trying to balance all of his deceptions at once. There were really too many plans going on for me to feel comfortable. Politics and conflicting motives generally always lose me in stories. I really liked the awkwardness of Queen Zeal suggesting the Prophet marry Schala. That, I could see happening in the game, and it made me laugh. Come on, what can Magus say? A prophet coming to the queen is likely looking for power, and what would give him more power than marrying the heir to the throne? So he can't really refuse. And it's not unheard of for a princess to have no say in who she marries. Even if she hates Magus, he can't very well assure her that marrying him will not be horrible. "Don't worry, Schala, I'm really your brother. I promise I won't touch you! I can reveal the marriage as a deception later, just pretend for now." Yeah, I thought it was really funny.
The prologue and epilogue were an interesting way to start and end the story, that's for certain. You mysteriously give us Meredith and Ian, leaving little explained as to their pasts and intentions, but somehow weaving enough clues throughout the text to give us enough so as to not be desperate for more. They were significant but not pivotal, and you did that very neatly. You set it up so neatly that you could easily create a whole new story explaining them if you wanted. The fact that Magus actually appeared at the end was a surprise to me - it felt like you were leading us up to expecting him, but I still didn't think he would appear. I felt that what he said to Meredith was just a touch too vague and could probably be re-written to be less so, but the ending was still very strong. Final, but not final. Like a video game ending, if anyone understands what I mean by that.
So my final opinion is that it wasn't my cup of tea, but it's a good story all the same.
| Kasienda chapter 12 . 2/12/2007
I started this story this afternoon thinking I'd read a chapter or two before I had to go to work. I was so hooked I almost didn't notcie when I needed to leave. Lots of depth. I'm truly impressed. I especially like the storyline additions that depart from the game a little. The real prophet for example was a good character. Anyway, I know you wrote this a really long time ago, but I just wanted to say I really enjoyed it.
| Haggath chapter 12 . 3/21/2006
Definately one of the best Chrono Trigger stories I've read. You have an excellent way of writing, and for that I both envy and congratulate you.
Thank you very much for writing this story.
- Lone Gunman
| BlackWindKaze chapter 11 . 2/25/2006
Sorry I hadn't reviewed sooner. As usual the quality of writing and the content is excellent. One of the few stories I have found that is able to pull me in...where I actually make sure I can sit and read it uninterupted before I start. Good work. The next chapter is the epilogue from what your profile said. It's been a good ride. I look forward to that.
| Intra chapter 11 . 2/20/2006
This is the best chrono trigger fic on this site.
Sadly, because it's not labeled a romance between Magus x Schala/ Magus x Lucca, it will not get the reviews it deserves. (lots of people browse for pairings only)
Those of us that enjoy quality writing, and story-telling enjoy this story very much though! so, take heart, and keep up the good work.
One thing I disagree with is the team "easily" being able to best Magus. He trashed me when I played through the game the first time, and story wise it always seemed more like the fight is interupted by Lavos rather than a clear victor!
| BlackWindKaze chapter 10 . 1/7/2006
Hello. I was very happy when you updated. The chapter was long and very enjoyable. I actually zonedout, focusing on nothing but the story when I read it. You have a considerable amount of talent as an author. The story is deep and quite the opposite of a light hearted adventure. You've given Magus a tremendous amount of depth, I believe. Excellent work.
| BlackWindKaze chapter 9 . 12/4/2005
This is an amazing story, I'm surprised it only has 4 reviews. I love you're writing style and your use of descriptive words. The story had enough pull that I read the whole thing in one go. Excellent work. Definitley one for the favorites list. It's too bad that your story does not seem to update any longer though, but stuff happens, its understandable. Take care.
| Haggath chapter 9 . 9/19/2004
Fantastic writing, although it is very dark. I found your story over eight months ago at icybrian's page, but there didn't come an update after the fifth chapter, so I gave up. It's good that you sent this story also here.
Anyway, keep up the good work, and please update soon.
| Amocin chapter 9 . 9/3/2004
DEAR GODS! Why the HELL havent you gotten more reviews? Is it because your not throwing some twisted Magus/Lucca or Magus and his sister porn story for all the perverts.. I REALLY like your style of writting, even though its dark and morbid, thats EXACTLY how i think he is and your doing a great job of pulling his character off which most people lose sight of.. Great, keep it up, I cant wait for the next chapter!
| Iced Blood chapter 7 . 8/22/2004
I just recently found this story, and I must say that - as a huge Magus fan (who isn't?) - I'm greatly impressed by the way you've captured his character. Not only that, but your writing style, and the depth you've added into this, make for a great story, and a welcome change from the usual stories found here (with either romance or humor as the main aspects). I greatly enjoyed this story. There were a few errors I found, but nothing to diminish the quality.
I'm not entirely sure if you'd be interested, but I'm currently writing a novel (a crossover between Blizzard's Diablo series and Chrono Trigger) with Magus as a prominent character. Your opinion on my work would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance, and keep up the great work,
| TimeReaper chapter 3 . 8/4/2004
Grim, but good D