|Reviews for Old|
| lls-mutant chapter 1 . 1/31/2005
Me again :)
Another really nice one! Here I'm really noticing your use of "the werewolf" "the Animagus" and other qualifiers. Don't be afraid to use their names.
A few things really caught my eye to make this a bit different from other LLAL fics. One was the mention of Tonks, and Sirius being surprised at how old she is. For some reason, that sounded so natural to me, and it doesn't seem to be something I come across frequently. I liked their absolute awkwardness, and Sirius realizing he doesn't really know Remus anymore as well.
The last bit is absolutely beautiful. My favorite line in the whole thing was
Is this alright? The kiss asked. Can I do this?
For some reason, that just really stuck out. that, and the last two lines.
| Sapphire Dragons chapter 1 . 12/5/2004
that was adorable!
| Nellie S chapter 1 . 9/27/2004
The main problem with this fic is the formatting. The general formatting of fics usually include double spacing, so the paragraphs aren't all clumped up together. That might make things easier to read.
Your grammar is very precise, and your descriptions are good, but a bit too feminine for a fic that is supposedly masculine. Your phrasing is also pretty awkward at parts, so you might want to work on that as well.
However, overall, it is an fairly adequate one shot.
| Seraphina Pyra chapter 1 . 9/4/2004
| Dreamscapes Symphonic chapter 1 . 9/3/2004
Another good one. Again, true to character and all that jazz. I would be happy to beta for you if you're still interested. I'll e-mail you my so-called credentials and all that. I'm .
| sleeper6 chapter 1 . 8/29/2004
Oh, this is too much. These two are just so passionate. How could they not love each other after so long-they've shared too much together. And that part about Dumbledore giving advance warning-cute bit.
| Alice Dodgson chapter 1 . 7/26/2004
Oh, that was so sweet and so sad! I loved it. Especially the last lines.
You know, whenever I read these "lie low at Lupin's" fics, I always wish that the two would just run into eachother's arms and make love. But it's far more realistic for there to be some hesitation and sadness first. You did a great job.
| ladyhurt chapter 1 . 7/21/2004
I'm shocked and appauled - at the very small number of reviews for your story, I mean. This is brilliant work, very discriptive and concise - just the way I like to write. And sweet! This story is such a treasure...
By the way, you mentioned uploading more...? I woul love to see more of your work, it's great.
Keep it up!
Thanks for the read,
| LLPotter chapter 1 . 7/21/2004
Oh I like this! The style is wonderful and very descriptive. Their interaction with one another is good too. Continue this soon!
| HappyDappyDrunk chapter 1 . 7/21/2004
I like this, and would be very pleased for you to continue it. At first, the conversation just felt unreal, but as it continued on, it became more flowing. It has certainly caught my interest, as I love 'Lie low at Lupin's' stories. Update soon.