|Reviews for Sinners|
| Guest chapter 22 . 11/15
I wonder who'll win the bet of how long it'll take to update! Hoping 'never' isn't the right answer!
| Animefan1900 chapter 22 . 11/9
Aw man :D Are you going to update this anytime soon? LOVE THIS!
| terracannon876 chapter 1 . 9/14
I just reread this fic for the first time in years, and it makes me so happy that one of my favorite Beyblade fics (based off two movies I like, to boot!) is still as readable as before. It's too bad it's been a long time since your last update, but I can only hope that someday... ;; Thanks for writing! Hope you're doing well now.
| Krixel chapter 22 . 8/21
Okay, I know it's been forever since this fic was updated, but today is - according to tumblr - fanfiction author appreciation day, so I can't not leave a review for one of my all-time favorite fanfiction writers. I followed all of your Beyblade stories from Untold Truths, to Resurfacing, but Sinners - Sinners is my favorite. It rolls everything I love into one brilliant story. Of course, I'd love to see it finished, but even if it's over - I'll always be grateful that part that exists is here for me to read.
The characters are so delightfully twisted in their roles, and yet somehow still maintain a sense of their original characterization. Kai - even as a deranged, psychotic, sociopathic killer - is somehow still Kai. The back-and-forth push and pull dynamic between Kai and Tala, though far more dangerous, is still reminiscent of their competitive and tentative relationship in the bounds of the show. This is one of the most brilliant pieces of fusion fanfiction I've ever read, even to this day.
This chapter is particularly enticing as the strings begin to tie together. Tala's caught between a rock and a hard place. Johnny's sadistic drive to do whatever it takes to bring down Kai is about to backfire so horrendously bad that I'd almost feel sorry for him if I weren't looking forward to it so much. And Brooklyn... oh I don't even know what to say about precious, broken, crazy Brooklyn.
So, whether this is the end or there's still some hope for the story to continue, thanks for bringing it to life as much as you did. Thanks for bringing this version of these beloved characters to life, and sharing it with the rest of us. Happy fanfiction author appreciation day, and thanks for all your contributions to the Beyblade fandom.
| waiting chapter 22 . 7/17
It has literally been years since this story has been updated, YEARS. I came upon this gem some four years ago and have made a habit to regularly check for updates when it crosses my mind- that's how good this is. But I have to say that I've almost lost all hope that it will be continued. Although, there is that teeny tiny little idealistic, blindly faithful, portion of me yelling that this story will one day be complete. But until then, whether that time really will come or not, I am happy to browse through this epic once again from time to time. And all i can say to you is 'thank you' for creating such a delightful read. The hopeful bit in me refuses to shut up and die, so rest assured I will be checking in well into the future.
| hisoka's Luver chapter 22 . 6/10
I just love this murderous Kai. It suits him. I hope you'll update this.
| Ranfan chapter 22 . 2/27
Oh my god O.O after some years I've come back to re-read this story again (and am very happy to find more updates) but please PLEASE update soon! I wanna see Johnny get his comeuppance and ultimately complete this story. It's really good, I applauded you xxxxxxx
| Neena14 chapter 22 . 2/26
My dearest dearest Ladya.
I believe we have been sitting, waiting patiently n stewing (as you eloquently put in your last ending A/N). For five years now.
While the previous few days have been one of the most enriching n nostalgic experiences in years as i literally devoured Sinners from chap 1 till 22, it has been truly heart breaking to reach chapter 22. Cuz that was it.
Inevitably. That was it.
It ended there.
We don't get to read further. We don't get to know McGregor s fate. We don't get to find Dox. We don't get to witness the last 3 murders. We certainly wouldn't know what became of Tala, Hiwatari, Ray, Bryan n Brooklyn.
And life will move on with this lack of..simply knowing. Trust me when i say this; there feels a void. A fucking empty cavity in heart knowing that we have been dulled n killed by routines n life in general. That we feel there is no relevance to keep fueling our long dead child like interests. Knowing that Sinners might never reach its conclusion. Ever.
It is a painful cavity that i and many other would not want to have.
Please update Ladya? It's been fucking five years. N i have been coming to your account just to see whether there might be an insulting treat or not.
I'd sigh here if it could transfer my feelings to you.
Either update. Or tell your fans something. Some closure. You owe us at least this no?
I miss the good old days. Miss them dearly to death.
You're the proud writer of Untild Truths, First Noel, 1000 miles n Resurfacing. Complete Sinners. Please :)
I miss you with all my heart. I truly miss you.
| MidnightStarr chapter 22 . 2/5
I have sat down and read this fic straight through from last night till today; and it is a wonderfully written piece of art. Normally I avoid AU fics... But the idea of Kai and criminology rolled into one was just too delicious to pass up. And I was not disappointed.
Your planning for this has been meticulous; I know this could not have been a story you made up as you went along! Hours and hours of hard work have gone into this and I know it's absolutely brilliant and it was worth every moment you spent! I sincerely hope that you plan to someday continue this... Even if you have to drag yourself through the motions haha.
I find this fic nothing short of amazing; please, please do continue! It's too big of a gem to let rot away into nothing. Wish you all the best!
| The Analyst chapter 22 . 1/30
So I noticed part of my review had been cut off. Not surprised really, it was quite long. Anyway, the rest of the review is posted below.
Johnny knows that Envy is Lee's choice, and for the most part, he thinks that Kai is the Wrath victim. So Johnny and Lee continue with the Envy murder. The victim in this murder is Bryan, but it should be noted that Bryan does not embody envy. More on this in a moment. After Bryan has been killed, Kai meets up with Johnny before Johnny has a chance to bring Lee in. I don't believe Kai is going to kill Johnny because he promised Tala he'd let him arrest the Dox murderers. So I think instead he's going to maim him. Possibly even castrate him. That would, in a sense, be poetic justice. So Johnny will be sent to a hospital, and Lee is now forced to act on his own.
Note: Kai might catch up with Johnny before he even has a chance to kill Bryan. Lee might act on his own. It's not really possible to know which event takes place first until the author writes it.
Right. So with Johnny incapacitated, Lee turns himself into the police, providing undisclosed details about the Dox murders that only the murderers and the police would know. He may even reveal who his accomplices were. However, before he is thrown in jail he offers to tell the police where the bodies of the last two victims are, but only if he can show them. Feeling uneasy about it but agreeing to it nonetheless, both Tala and Michael agree to the proposition, and they follow Lee's directions to a location. A van starts to drive towards them and Michael goes to check it out, leaving Tala with Lee.
And now we come to to the crux of the story. In the box delivered by the van driver, Michael discovers Bryan's head. And Lee explains to Tala his logic. It was he, Lee, who embodies the sin envy. Lee has been envious of Tala his entire life. Let's go into detail. When Tala was younger he witnessed his father's murder, committed by poachers supposedly. Where did this event occur? On the outskirts of Russia. In an earlier chapter when the detectives are asking about the Neko-jin people, Bryan answers that the Neko-jins live mainly in China and on the outskirts of Russia. I'm willing to bet that Lee was responsible for his father's death. Lee saw the loving relationship between father and son and was envious of it.
Then later on in life, Tala meets Bryan. They date. They fall in love. Bryan buys Wolborg for Tala. A part wolf, which I'm sure you can't just buy from any old pet store. So where did he come across a part wolf pup? How did Bryan even know about the Neko-jin people in the first place? Well we know that Lee works with animals. We also know that he hates dogs. We also know that Bryan cheated on Tala at some point. My guess is that Bryan cheated on Tala with Lee. Lee who works with animals may have come into contact with Wolborg and didn't know what to do with him, Wolborg also may have been the dog that bit him. Bryan, who must have been seeing Lee for a little while offers to take the pup off his hands and gifts him to Tala. Eventually Tala finds out about the affair, leaving Bryan. Bryan who realises a little too late that he loves Tala and not Lee, leaves Lee breaking his heart. Leaving him once more envious of Tala. Wondering why Tala is so special and not him. Throughout the Dox murders, Wolborg is stabbed, I believe Lee was responsible for this. Because Wolborg is a symbol of Bryan's love for Tala. Wolborg also may have been the dog that bit Lee, so part of the stabbing may have been revenge for that. Lee realises that he embodies Envy, and after he tells Tala why he's so envious, Tala shoots Lee, killing Envy and becoming Wrath.
Though the ending might be somewhat different. Kai promised that he'd let Tala arrest them. Perhaps Kai is the van driver, who knocks out Michael. Then listens in on Lee's tale. Perhaps Kai stops Tala from killing Lee, not allowing Lee to complete his mission. Remember Kai always has to be dominant. After Kenny and Johnny (and possibly Lee if Tala hasn't killed him) are arrested, Kai offers to take Tala away from it all. To make him happy.
- 2nd INTERLUDE OVER -
Yep. So that's my analysis of the story. Apologies about the length. I've loved every single second of reading what you've written so far, and I hope you update soon!
| The Analyst chapter 22 . 1/30
First of all, let me begin by saying that I've been reading fan fiction for years and to come across a story such as yours which is so elegantly written is a rarity. I want to thank you for providing such an enthralling story. Secondly, I'm aware of the fact that you don't post very often, the fact that I've reread this story more than twice over the years with few chapter additions is proof enough of that. I only hope that this story is seen to its end, for it certainly deserves the spectacular ending I'm sure you have planned for it. Thirdly, I just wanted to post who I thought the Dox murderers were. I love analysing mysteries and characters, so here goes. (Apologies for the length).
There are three. This is proven when after Kai escapes he leaves Tala a note, "One down two to go", and the photographs from the pride crime scene. At first, when Tala is talking with Kai, Tala guessed that there are two killers based on the angles in the photos as well as the shadow, proving that there were three people in the room. Two killers and Polanski. Kai replies with "perhaps", because the answer is incorrect. He'd already incapacitated one when he escaped. So, the three killers had to have met somewhere or known each other previously. Each of them loathes Kai for their own personal reasons, and they all have varying degrees of religiousness about them, hence the sins.
THE MURDERERS AS INDIVIDUALS:
Killer 1: Is somewhat religious. He is the one who has a personal vendetta against Kai, he HATES Kai, for multiple reasons. The first is because the killer believes himself intelligent, more so than Kai, yet Kai got all the attention at uni. Secondly, Killer 1 was unpopular at uni, he had friends, but feels they were taken away from him when they became friends with Kai. Thirdly, I'm willing to bet that Kai either knew of or exposed a secret of Killer 1, humiliating him in the process in front of his friends. This secret is tied with the moth signature. It's no secret that your story borrows story lines and character types from Se7en and Silence of the Lambs, my guess, is that Killer 1 was a cross-dresser or felt that he was a woman trapped in a man's body hence the moth, and Kai made fun of him for it, because he's Kai, and Kai always dominates. The moth is a symbol of transformation. I think he's also responsible for Hilary's disappearance. He wanted to be her, so he either killed/abducted her and stole her identity. Did Hilary/Kenny date Tyson? If (s)he did, I bet Kai told Tyson about it. Also, we know that "Hilary" dated Brooklyn. But remember when Tala visits Brooklyn for the first time? Brooklyn said that, "He's smarter than them". What if he was talking about Kenny? Also, by masquerading as Hilary he had access to the moths. I believe this character has a knowledge of computers/hacking and machines which is what makes him useful for the murders; he did something with the security camera footage in the Greed murder. He also only attacks those Kai was friends with. In a way, he's taking away Kai's friends because he believes Kai took away his. Based on all of this, my guess is that Killer 1 is Kenny. He's only been mentioned so far, but when Tala goes to visit Max (or Ray and asks about Max), I'm going to guess that the person interviewed lets slip a detail about Kenny and his inclinations. Kenny is a revenge killer.
Killer 2: Has a flair for the dramatics, the murders are nothing if not showy. This one is arrogant, and self-obsessed. He also has an inside knowledge of how the police force works, and this is what makes him useful in the murders. He makes sure that the victims are always found on Monday. He's not quite religious, but is prejudiced against those whom he believes is unnatural. This is evidenced in the way he speaks to other people: referring to homosexual individuals as 'fags', and those from Russia as 'Commies'. I believe this Killer to be Johnny. Johnny I believe was enticed into this plot because Killer 3 was willing to take the blame for it (more on this later), and promised Johnny that he'd let him catch him. Johnny would then get all the glory of catching the killer.
Killer 3: Is the most religious one of them all. This killer is the one most heavily based on the Se7en killer. The sins people embody disgusts him, he's intelligent, meticulous, and patient. He also has some degree of knowledge in medicine. At least enough knowledge to keep a man alive yet suffering for a year (Wyatt - Sloth), and enough to make surgical cuts (Oliver - Pride). It's my belief that Killer 3 is Lee. The Neko-jin people are a religious people. When Mariah hears about what happened to Wolborg Mariah offers to pray for him. Lee is the one who came up with the plan for the seven deadly sins murders and enticed the other two by offering revenge for Kenny and glory for Johnny. Lee is a religious killer.
THE SINFUL MURDERS:
Ok, so there are seven sins and three killers. Each killer gets to choose two victims, the seventh sin victim all three decide should be Kai. (Wrath / Kai - Makes sense). Kenny and Johnny agree to this wholeheartedly. Lee agrees, but has his own hidden agenda (he has other plans for wrath, but more on that later).
GREED: (Victim: Kevin). This one was Johnny's choice. I'm willing to bet that Johnny hated Kevin for putting criminals back on the streets, especially when Johnny had worked so hard to get them off in the first place. Perhaps there is even a link here with the Kingston family. Johnny had tried to get Kingston senior put in jail, but Kevin got him off the hook. I bet that pissed off Johnny.
GLUTTONY: (Victim: Gao). This one was Lee's choice. Having grown up with Mariah and Kevin he would've known Gao quite well, and was disgusted in the way he chose to live. This kill was slow and meticulous, which is very much in line with Lee's character.
SLOTH: (Victim: Wyatt). Wyatt was a friend of Kai's, and had possibly known about Kenny's proclivities. If not, he would've teased him for being a nerd or something like that. I think I remember a mention of Wyatt being into drugs. I can see how someone like that could rub Kenny the wrong way. Also, the moth signature is Kenny's. Lee with his medical knowledge would know how to keep Wyatt alive.
- 1st INTERLUDE -
Here we run into some problems, because at this point in the story everything was going well for the Dox murderers until Kai escapes, killing the majority of the staff and Boris. It's my belief that the original Lust victim was Boris and Johnny's choice. Throwing people in jail is a thing that Johnny takes pride in doing, but having to deal with Boris on a regular basis would disgust him, especially if Boris tried to touch him, which Boris was known for doing to any attractive males who walked through his doors. However, that plan went out the window when Kai killed him. This leaves Johnny with the problem of having to come up with a new Lust victim. But more on that later.
The second problem is that one of the Dox murderers has been incapacitated by Kai. This is known when Kai leaves Tala the message 'One down two to go'. But Kai also promised Tala that he wouldn't kill Dox, but let Tala arrest them. That means that Kai left him alive. The only person alive after Kai escaped was the insane woman. And what did she scream about Kai? That he was the devil, that he was after her. Sounds kind of religious. I believe this woman was Kenny in disguise and Kai knew it was him. Why was Kenny there? Because he was in the perfect position to kill Boris (for the original Lust murder), and to kill Kai (for the original Wrath murder). Kai put a stop to those plans when Kenny disguised as a woman was shipped off to a psychiatric ward. And so, the Dox murderers are now a duo instead of a trio.
- 1st INTERLUDE OVER -
PRIDE: (Victim: Oliver). This victim was Kenny's choice, because Oliver was a friend of Kai's. I also vaguely remember a snippet about Oliver inviting Kai, Tyson and Max over to his house, but there was no mention of Kenny. Perhaps Kenny was extremely jealous that he wasn't invited, but his friends were. I can also see how Oliver, who was gorgeous, would've rubbed it in Kenny's face about not being very attractive. The important thing to note about this murder is that there isn't a moth left behind despite it being Kenny's choice. This is because, as previously mentioned, Kai already dealt with him. Johnny and Lee carried on with the plan despite the fact that Kenny wasn't there. And considering the fact that you typically keep all of the original beyblading teams somewhat together in this story, I'm guessing that Johnny was the friend whom Oliver recognised in the hotel before his murder, and Lee was the one who attacked him.
- 2nd INTERLUDE -
Now we run into the problem with Lust. Originally, Boris was the victim, but Kai killed him. So now Johnny has to choose a second victim. I believe Johnny's next choice was Tala, but Lee argued that he was important for the later murders. This doesn't make sense to Johnny because Tala wasn't one of the original victims. Lee puts his foot down, and so Johnny is forced to pick a third victim. I'm going to guess that this choice was Ray, because he lusted after Kai, or Michael, because he lusted after Tala. My money's on Ray though. Either way it doesn't matter because before Johnny can come up with an answer, Kai stages his own Lust murder, infuriating Johnny and Lee.
It's at this point we have another turning point in the story. We're up to the last two sins. And from this point on, I can only speculate as to what I think is going to happen, simply because it hasn't been written yet.
Johnny knows that Envy is Lee's choice, and for the most part, he thinks that Kai is the Wrath victim. So Johnny and Lee continue with the Envy murder. The victim in this murder is Bryan, but it should be noted that Bryan does not embody envy. More on this in a moment. After Bryan has been killed,
| Sid chapter 22 . 1/26
To A/N at the end: I bet its going to be 5 years till you update this story? (Fingers crossed).
I must say, this is the best fan fiction I have read, and I am so glad I came across it.
The story is amazing and your writing is so captivating. The way you have protayed every character and their thoughts and style is exquisite. The thrill, the excitement was always present.
I till have no idea who Dox is? Garland came to mind since he is one character who wasn't covered yet among others and he sure is rich like Dox (as Dox paid Wyatt's for an entire year, during which time he left him to decay *shudders*) but I have also toyed with the idea of Dox being an OC, someone trying to get Kai's attention.
And the mystery about Max Tate's disappearance is also yet to be revealed.
And most importantly what became of Johnny McGregor?! Oh plesase, I need to know what became of him, what Kai did to him!
I also love Kai's character, its is so strong even if not very humane but you have done a commendable job of its ironic revelation throughout the story.
It has been years since you last updated and there little chance that you might not continue this story but I have to request you to please, please do so. It is a brilliant work that should come to its rightful end. I know long chapters take long to write and update but its also been so loongg. I don't want to be as clingy as I am being. But if you could spare time to this story, please update.
And good work again and good luck with the rest.
| Stars in the Sky at Noon chapter 22 . 12/27/2014
...like everyone else here, I recognize that you haven't been active in a very long time. Chances are that you will never update this story, let alone even read this review.
But... I just want to put it out there that this story is amazing. No one can ever replicate the brilliance of the work you've done here, and all this moral points and mentalities of people who should have just been characters...how you twisted reality in this story and managed to completely fuck up the world is incredible.
I sound really weird, don't I? But somehow you created this lens in a crime story that makes it so unique. the gore, the insanity, the chaos the sheer evil that manipulates this entire tale is...eerily beautiful.
You are a skilled writer, there is no denying that. And this story happens to be one of your beautiful creations, yes... I only wish it had an end.
Don't get me wrong - I'm so very grateful that you released such a fantastic story, and even more amazed that it went on for as long as it did...but somehow, stringing it along years and then suddenly...it stops...it just seems so cruel.
Not to offend you or anything - sorry. But it's just that knowing we'll never get to see the intense conclusion, after witnessing so much...breathtaking, spectacular storywriting is more heartbreaking than I could ever imagine.
So please, of you ever end up reading this...
Pick up that pen. Grab a stack of paper. Or boot up that dusty old computer and get typing. Please. Whether it takes ten, twenty, fifty years...you accomplished something with this story. You really did. Just... I'm begging you, to see it concluded would be...the most amazing thing in the world.
| spiritleopard chapter 22 . 12/24/2014
so it been almost 5 years...is it safe to say we won't get another update. Because that would be terrible and i really want to know what happens next. It stopped a such a stressful point, so please please please update maybe. id be fine with like 1 paragraph. please? (BTW this is the best story I've read)
| Hibisha chapter 15 . 11/26/2014
I'm a bit confused. Tala tells Mcihael that Brooklyn knew his name from the start without Tala having to tel him but Brooks hasn't addressed Tala with his name until AFTER reading the card Tala handed him.