Reviews for Dragonball New Beginnings: The Arlean Saga
Justboy chapter 21 . 9/7/2007
Jesus Christ the scene with Kumo made me gasp reading and curse under my breath brillant two stories by the way definitely when i finish this story you will be in my author favourties!
bylfolx chapter 87 . 7/12/2007
Nice.
Angelwing chapter 87 . 3/18/2007
Incredible. This story really was just that 'incredible' I read it all in less than a week and I am blown away. I was going through a variety of emotions as i read and dang, I could feel Akira's pain as he went through everything. Your writing style is superb, i'm jealous, you seem to do it so easily, the convesrations between characters, the fight scenes, humor... even the character development it was incredible. Thank you for writing this!
Dan chapter 84 . 2/9/2007
i love your story i realize your done with it but i wanted to let you know it rocks i like bleach and i would have to agree that ichigo's fight with byakuya after he acheives bankai is the best one ive seen so far

also don't ruin the ending for me if you reply im still a couple of chapters from the end of the arlean saga and the ammit saga was great too a little simple but it was awesome if you're interested you should check out dbv is a truly epic story that i think you would enjoy
Flare Phoenix chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
Well, after reading this, maybe I was a little hasty in giving up my fanfiction. First chapter, the only bit of description we get about anyone is that the girl (who i am going to assume is Pan) has Raven hair. No description about Akira or Montaro whatsoever and aren't they OCs? Even if they did appear in the Ammit Saga, Ocs should be be described in each new fanfiction (Canon characters, not so much)

I mean, through that whole dream, you didn't mention the girl's name and just the fact that she had Raven hair. Do you know what picture someone could get in their head if all they know is that its a girl with raven hair? You could have just said "Pan's feet pounded hard" and the majority of the people would remember/know what Pan looks like, thereby saving you sme time by making it that you don't have to describe that she has Raven hair.

So you see, if you give us the name of the Canon Character, you really don't need to describe any of her features (unless they changed eg Pan dying her hair blue - wouldn't recommed it but that was just an example)

There is very little point in describing what the reader should already know. (I mean, you write this fanfic so that people who are fans of Dragonball Z will read it - and a fan of Dragonball Z should be able to remember what the character's look like, no?

Well onto chapter 2 soon enough. How about including some of the other characters this time around. I hope this isn't going to be "The adventures of the Main character Akira and his band of unimportant side characters(the canons)" like the Ammit saga was. I'll read on and find out I guess.
Ryan the author chapter 35 . 12/30/2006
This story is great but I think it's mighty out of charcter when the Z-fighters say such harsh things to the Villians. Although they did alot of bad things to them, they still have never really said "He deserved it" or "I hope you rot here" or anything else of that magnitude. When they talk like that it makes this story feel like something completely diffrent then any other Dragonball show or story. And at times it's quite distrubing. (In a good sort of way.)
Audrey chapter 87 . 7/24/2006
This was such a great story! Sorry, I didn't write a ton of reviews, but instead waited til the end. Thanks so much for writing it! It kept me entertained for weeks! You're an excellent writer, and I'm sorry you're burned out on DBZ because I have loved all of it. Once again, great job!
UGotProblems chapter 87 . 6/9/2006
Good job on finishing the story. I really enjoyed the ending mainly because you were able to let Kanata off easy without making the ending really crappy. The only complaint I have about this story is that it seemed like it was way dragged out, but like I said you ended it in a very good way.
Nova Flame chapter 87 . 6/8/2006
Well, it's finally done and over with. (unless you want to surprise us all and add another 13 chapters as a sort of epi-epilogue :) )

All things considered, it was a very good story, with a happy ending after all (if you consider everybody being dead and meeting up again happy, I guess). That in and of itself was a nice little twist. You did a good job on the wrap-up as well for everything else; it was very realistic. If I was going to suggest anything, you're going to have to write more Vegeta stuff; you do him perfectly. It's really quite funny to mentally picture his reactions.

Well, I guess that's it for now. In all honesty this was one of the big stories that got me on this site in the first place; sort of an inspiration, if you will, to make sit down and work on my own (and because of you I'm practically rewriting everything I had :) ). Anyways, this was a learning experience for me and was enjoyable to say the least. I look forward to more stuff from you. Keep up the great work and I'll catch ya later!
ashlee chapter 87 . 6/7/2006
Bravo, my friend!

Bravo :)
Rejhan chapter 87 . 6/7/2006
Huh, and here I was thinking that the last chapter was the end ... but I loved this! I'm so glad that Kanata found redemption in the end! I so didn't want him to go to Hell. And I loved how you tied up the other timeline as well. Nice to know everything worked out. lol, and I could so see Uub and Bra eloping! And little Kumo flying down the aile ... ah, I love that kid! Anyway, this story totally rocked, and I so understand why you now want to take a break! But you should be really proud of this, and I totally enjoyed reading it! Well done! _
Casseeinamirror chapter 87 . 6/7/2006
WOW i cant believe its over. lol you know i stopped reading DBZ and watching DBZ over 4 years ago... your story ive still read like a religion. Thank you so much for writing it and finishing it, how long did it take you? two years? lol hmm you have talent so never let it go. I agree about writing for another never read a Psychic Academy though i own the entire series... i think i just dislike the way it ended.

OK well thanks again for writing it, i cant promise that i will always read what you write in the future because it all depends on the genre and the time i have, but i want to.

Good luck with whatever you do,

Cassee
darksupersayian chapter 87 . 6/7/2006
That was a good ending. Anyway its an acomplishment to actually finish any story, especially one of this length. Good work.
Legend chapter 87 . 6/7/2006
Excellent story. I've been following the story since the Ammit saga was first posted, and it has been a fun ride to say the least. It is an amazing feat that you have created a story of such size - not to mention the level of creativity that this story holds.

I will remember this story for a very long time. Thank you for working so hard to write it :)
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