|Reviews for The Great Race|
| Spirit Marcher chapter 5 . 5/5/2008
Hey. I know it's been a while, but are you planning on up dating this story. It's a really super awsome one.
| Raine Ishida chapter 5 . 8/23/2005
I agree. Where IS Jim? Hehe. Um...interesting chapter. A few issues with the tenses...but hey. I don't mind. The kids are interesting. How old are they supposed to be? And another thing...Doppler and Amelia are always..."frisky". It's...distracting. Can they just be a normal married couple? :P I'm not married, nor have I ever been so, so I don't know what it's like, but...yeah. Um...are they going to stop acting so frisky as the Race approaches?
| Rockesstra chapter 1 . 8/8/2005
Wow, this is great! I love how you worked the "Great Race" which really helps the story move along, and all of the Etherian technology (even some of the stuff not mentioned in the art book or in the movie that I can only imageine came from your imagination) that you have worked into this story compliments it well. Wonderful job!
| Ari chapter 5 . 8/7/2005
Bout time you accepted anonymous reviews. *grumblegrumble* I like this chapter, especially the "doesnt fit" part. XD That reminds me of Delbert so much, you did a great job portraying Ali. I want to see the next chapter soon!
| Little Hawk chapter 1 . 3/11/2005
well in my opinion to imrpove this chapter a little bit more is to create more of a mood to bring the character into the story and to bring out this mood is to describe more of the surounding for example the envelope that was handed to Delbert descibe more! describe the surface or the texture of it. and describe more of the surroundings of the study. for example here's a sentence:
"was sitting in the study, perusing a newly delivered star chart that was spread across a wooden desk, with his intense gazed darting across the large peice of paper." or something like that but the point is to create a mood for a reader is by powerful descriptions! Its make your story ten times better that is one of the essence of writing great prose!
And also creat a clear imagery picture by using powerful and concrete details! show do not tell! don't write just "envelope" describe a little more with details to convey an impact that is emotional that you as the write want to give to a reader!
you can do it!
I'll be bugging you, aswell as everyone else, about this! :-)
by I certainly predict that the next chapter will be far more better! :-)
| goddessofthestarz chapter 4 . 2/7/2005
Oh goodness, its been a long time has it not? I want to thank you for keeping this story up, despite all the mayhem thats been tearing your way. thats what i call dedication Man. but thanks again for posting, i hope i'll hear more from you as soon as possible. a lot of A/D writters are drifting away! Heaven Forbid! so write pronto and save my sanity!
best of luck and wishes
| Raine Ishida chapter 4 . 2/3/2005
*pouts* Divorce? Oh, Pepo, I'm so sorry...:( Well, to help you feel better...good chapter! Write more soon! I'm sorry, but I'm SO much more interested in what's happening with Jim. Email me, eh?
| Janna Silver Hawkins chapter 4 . 2/3/2005
awesome chapter, pepoluan! :D
can hardly wait for more!
| Little Hawk chapter 3 . 9/23/2004
incredible, awesome, outstanding story What more can I say (apperently there is more excellent comments I could say about this great story). I love it!
| Kitty Petro chapter 3 . 9/20/2004
Cool so far
| Janna Silver Hawkins chapter 3 . 8/14/2004
Very cool chapter, pepoluan! Keep up the good work!
| Raine Ishida chapter 2 . 8/10/2004
I'm just anxious to see the race, dear Pepo. :) I like this story. You're one of the few who can pull off a likeable Amelia/Doppler story for me. *grins* I think the only others...were Night Music and Mia LeighArc. Yep, those were them. So now I'm hungry after all that talk about Indonesian food...*grins* I like how you describe things, and I ALSO like Marks. I think he's adorable. He's exactly the type of person to drive you crazy yet you'd be terribly lost without him.
Great work, Pepo. Keep it up!
| Janna Silver Hawkins chapter 2 . 8/5/2004
Good work, pepoluan! I can hardly wait until the next chapter!
| ExcursionGuy84 chapter 2 . 8/5/2004
YE-HAW, WE gonna have us a ship race! I's smelling me a winner already 'n no prizes fer guessin' whos it gona be!
| Bohemian Bostonian chapter 2 . 8/4/2004
very sweet, again. great job! hope u update again soon! )