Reviews for First Time
Hestia82 chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
This is a good story so far! I love Tenpou! he is almost as cool as Hakkai! :)
amai-kaminari chapter 4 . 10/26/2006
I really loved your story! The dynamic you've built between Tenpou and Kenren is just terrific! _ Great job on characterization!
Keeper of the Jeep chapter 4 . 9/1/2006
Shit this is sexy! Most gaiden fics suck but this kicks serious ass! Update!
fuzzybunnytoo chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
I read this with the thoughts of a starving man in possession of the most delicious meal before him... this was an excelent fic and I savored every word of it and at the end i licked my fingers lovingly. M... it is so nice to read a good piece that flows right and ends so lovely. Thanks for the full "mental stomach". Glomps suthor (if you don't mind)
guanyin-kun chapter 4 . 11/15/2005
I have to admit, that upon the completion of reading this story, I was still laughing and happy to see that someone other than just me loves to write Gaiden fiction. Especially with Tenpou and Kenren. Your usage of them was dynamic and very much in character. The turns of phrases about what they were thinking was marvelous..."Should I take the table legs off and replace them with books? Maybe a footstool under my desk to put put my feet on, they say it's good for the circulation..." It's too easy to see Tenpou considering some of these outragous options.

Most of all.. it was romantic. It's sometimes hard to get these two to be romantic as their life doesn't always lend itself well to tenderness, since it is often seen as a weakness.

"I won't tell you a story unless you get rid of your boxers..." Oh yeah...Who can play the seme game and not even let you know he's doing it...Kenren... Many kudos for a job well done. Well articulated, only a few natural gramatical flaws which detracted little from the story, but I'm fussy.

I have done something that I've never done before, I've added you to my favourite story list. Mayhap even favourite author...let me read more. But if they're anything like this, I can see your name easily on that list.
Val Mora chapter 4 . 8/9/2005
Interesting. I like the way you've written the interaction between Kenren and Tenpou, as well as the personalities of "minor" characters - Konzen's grudging ability to feel emotions that aren't boredom, for example. Very accurate.

Grammar things that bugged me:

- as I've previously mentioned, attribution of dialogue

- commas, again

Other than that, quite a good chapter in a generally good fic. )
Val Mora chapter 2 . 8/9/2005
A believable situation in this one - I can definitely see that being Kenren's reaction to the suspicion that he's being used by his superior officer (which is an entirely reasonable concern, really, so I don't blame him at all), and the way the argument explodes is definitely interesting - and certainly reveals just a little about Kenren's emotional masochism. )

Two tidbits that bothered:

- semicolons. You were using them in situations where you required commas instead. Oops.

- and the use of the word 'seme' to denote the sexually "dominant" partner. 'Seme' is fangirl slang pretty much unique to the yaoi community. ) Unless Kenren has been having conversations with a fellow officer who is rather fond of yaoi fiction, he probably wouldn't know the term. ) Situation is still funny, though - maybe just find a different turn of phrase?

Other than that, a very amusing chapter, and you've done a good job of capturing emotions.
The Ghost of FF. Net chapter 4 . 6/4/2005
I really hope you're still pursuing this story, because this is really good.
The Ghost of FF. Net chapter 2 . 6/4/2005
OHmy God that was hot! I'm still freakin' sweatin' from this! That was...HOTT! Okay, switching out of fangirl mode... I loved it! your writing style is excellent, and has a great flow. These two make a great pair and you've done a great job of executing that point. Very hot! *drools*
galadriel17 chapter 4 . 3/19/2005
There is a severe lack of Kenren/Tenpou fics out there, & this one is so wonderfully written! I hope you do choose to continue it, because it's an amazing story & I adore the way you portray the characters
zan chapter 4 . 2/17/2005
just wanna say hi & thanks for ALL your lovely stories, i thought that"bloodied rain" was especially good, and "forever is just annother word" too. i wonder if that one is done yet or this one. they sound as if maybe they could have been put as one story and have a couple more chappies to round of THE story. ...i mean we know that they do find each other...sorry i'm just a tenpou/kenren and gojyo and hakkai fan. they're just so meant to be 4 each other! love much! and hakkai 4 ever ne!
Attiqah Gensui chapter 4 . 1/7/2005
Yay!

My ultimate favourite KenTen Author updated!

Yes yesyes!

I so love this chapter! *Is acting crazy due to the happiness*

Did you know that i love your fanfics so much that i printed this one out and will read and reread it again and again?
SavageGardener chapter 3 . 1/3/2005
Wow! What a lovely story.

I love Tenpou and Kenren, but I'm afraid there is such a shortage of good fanfics about them. It is always a wonderful surprise when I actually manage to find one, especially when it is as well written as this.

You have kept the characters cannon (thank you!), and each of their actions is believable and understandable.

Again, a grand fanfic. Quite funny and adorable. I look forward to any of your new fics.
viciouscallisto chapter 3 . 12/9/2004
oh, i loved it. that was cute. *laughing" Magical Girl Ten-chan! oh man, that's funny. kenren and tenpou are cute together. update soon please!
Attiqah Gensui chapter 3 . 12/2/2004
Ahh! Soo kawaii! And hott and the so character!

You know i also had a idea of when tenpou is still a taishou, his gansui kept on 'looking' at him too!

I wrote it down on paper but it was so different than this! (mine was much more violent and OOC)

Well another great one from you, i'm starting to place you on my 'worship' list along with the writer 'mitsima' and if you read mitsima-sama's fic you know what i mean!

I love this and will be waiting franticly for the next, addictedtomarbles-sama!

"Well Hirata had the upper hand and Konzen Douji himself came up of his office to find the spectacular sight of myself being slammed against his office wall with my uniform half off and Hirata yelling abuse at me"

I will soo remember that when i think of kenten ficcys!
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