|Reviews for Klangfarbenmelodie|
| GundamWingFanatic90 chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
Hmm, excellent story. Despite a barely-noticable lack of commas, you did a very, very good job with it. You portrayed the characters well, your grammar was incorrectable (meaning that I didn't find any flaws worth noting), your spelling was relatively accurate, your use of vocabulary was outstanding, and the story had an awesome plotline. I sincerely hope to see this 'Polyrhythms' you mentioned- this one was so good, I would love to see any other Mega Man works you have written. I know that it's been almost four years since you updated this fic, but I hope that you get this message, because you are a very talented author, and we need more of that selfsame talent on a website with so many poorly-written fics on it. Thanks for a good read!
| Uzu-Chan chapter 15 . 10/29/2004
Oh-HO! :) And of course Wily realises what they were doing..
| Roll Fanboy chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
Hey I really enjoyed your story and hope that you continue it with the sequel. I only ask one thing. PLEASE have more seenes with Roll in them I mean come on she really rule in Capcom Vs. Marvel both of them. Well thanks Keep it up
| The Infamous Uzu-Chan chapter 11 . 10/1/2004
Aw :P Bluesies looking after Forte? _ How cute!
| The Infamous Uzu-Chan chapter 8 . 10/1/2004
o_0 Your grammar seems to be good enough. It's not bad at all!
SEQUEL! I like this fic! Especially the begining with all the robot masters.
| RandyPandy chapter 16 . 9/27/2004
*smiles* Good job. I do wanna see a sequel, especially if it's as good as this one. Uh, please?
| Forever and ever shall I hate Moose Munch chapter 16 . 9/26/2004
Uh...I have got a question: What does "Klangfarbenmelodie" mean? What language is it?
I want a sequel. Badly. Bwaha.
| Formerly Bickabee before the ff.net tyrants took control chapter 1 . 9/26/2004
I have one word to say:
Sequel. Or else.
Uhkay...that was five words, not one. I mean, three words, not one.
| GoldAngel1 chapter 16 . 9/25/2004
Whoa! Great story! I love your take on the origins of Zero. It was interesting to see Rock and Forte seeing into the future; it was so cool! I'd love to see a sequel to this, it just doesn't seem complete not knowing what's going to happen Forte, Rock, Light, and the others. At least you're able to finish a story (unlike me, heheh -;; )
Anyway, good job! I liked it.
| Kyogre chapter 16 . 9/25/2004
Yes! Sequel! Don't stop! Please... Um... Yeah, that's all.
| The Infamous Uzu-Chan chapter 7 . 9/19/2004
Fwe! Another chapter! Yays! Your fic is kool!
| GoldAngel1 chapter 4 . 8/23/2004
Finally! Another 'Original Series' fic! Ahem. . . Sorry 'bout that. There's so many Battle Network, X Series, and Legends fics but very few on the original series (which is my favorite). Keep this up, I like where it's going so far. I do have one suggestion though: watch out for your punctuation; sometimes it can get a little confusing if the comma is in the wrong place or left out. Other than that, this story is great! I'll be waiting for more!
| Goshawk chapter 1 . 7/30/2004
Though I don't usually look at grammatical errors in stories, there are many areas that would be much easier to read if you added a few commas. For example, your first paragraph reads as follows:
Rock bounded down the concrete driveway to his home, a gentle breeze blew his short mussed black hair slightly. While he appeared to be an average boy he was in all actuality an advanced android with all the emotions of the average human. Created by Dr. Light he considered the elderly man his father. Rock lived with his creator along with Rock’s sister Roll who was also an android and his robotic dog Rush.
Now I'll add a few commas.
Rock bounded down the concrete driveway to his home, a gentle breeze blew his short mussed black hair slightly. While he appeared to be an average boy, he was in all actuality an advanced android with all the emotions of the average human. Created by Dr. Light he considered the elderly man his father. Rock lived with his creator along with Rock’s sister Roll, who was also an android, and his robotic dog Rush.
Those are just a few suggestions. Also, it is not needed for all the sentences to be combined into complex compound sentences. Some of the sentences could be broken up into smaller sentences to prevent them from turning into run-on-sentences. This should help give your fanfic a sense of flow that would be more appealing to read. Let me show you what I mean by re-writing another passage from you fanfic. Here's the original:
Clenching his hands into fists Rock called on his armor the two tone blue armor replacing the blue jeans and white t-shirt he had been wearing in a quick burst of light. He prepared to beam over to Dr. Wily’s laboratory intent on rescuing his family whom, he had no doubt, were being held hostage by the madman. Before he entered his desired coordinates he heard the rushed sound of metallic feet on the stairs.
Here's a revised version:
Clenching his hands into fists, Rock called on his armor. The two tone blue armor replaced the blue jeans and white t-shirt he had been wearing in a quick burst of light. He prepared to beam over to Dr. Wily’s laboratory with the intent on rescuing his family, whom, he had no doubt, were being held hostage by the madman. Before he entered his desired coordinates, he heard the rushed sound of metallic feet on the stairs.
I only made a few small changes, but I hope you can see the difference. Placing commas is tricky, for depending on where they are placed in a sentence influence how the over all sentence is read. It's hard for one person to be able to find all of these mistakes, and you might find it easier to have someone you know read over your final drafts and point out any areas they think could be improved. I personally find this useful for spotting spelling errors in any of my own works.
However, I think this story is going smoothly. It's great that you have the whole thing written out ahead of time. Most authors can't give that kind of insurance that there'll be future updates. Good work.
If you have any questions about this review, don't hesitate to E-mail me.