|Reviews for If You Love Them Let Them Go|
| lslines chapter 1 . 12/14/2004
So sad and deeply touching. It sent shivers running down my spine.
| DragonSteel chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
Oh, thats so sad! At least he's happy now... What about poor Ryou though? Hmm, maybe he'll commit suicide to so he can be with Bakura... I don't think Bakura would like that, though.
Oh, and yes, it WAS you I was apolopgizing to for the crazy review... *Sigh* Yep its one of THOSE days.
Would you just shut up?
Hmm, let me think about that... NO!
And you wonder why people avoid you...
You know what ? I'M the personality in charge right now, so I don't have to listen to any of you!
We are in your head, you CAN'T ignore us.
Ladedadeda I can't HEAR you!
| Hiro.P chapter 1 . 11/17/2004
Well, for such a short story it has really deep meaning...I'm almost sure I'll read it again sometime...and then...again...o.O
| DarkGatomon chapter 1 . 8/29/2004
Wow, that was a really interesting idea. I can imagine that scene, and it works perfectly as a one-shot like this (although it is not, as one reviewer said, the "shortest one-shot ever," not that that's a BAD thing by any means - its length was perfect). The only problem was that you didn't do enough editing. ESPECIALLY for pieces as short as this, having every little detail perfect is vitally important. If you don't mind, I'm going to go through and correct every mistake I saw, because it's so short I can. (Look for the asterisks.)
*Author's* Note: I wrote this a while ago, but *am* only now typing it up. I kept forgetting about it you could say.
((That's almost mean, to pick on the A/N, but if I'm correcting EVERYTHING...))
The wind gently blew across the bridge, causing the *white-haired* boy leaning on the railing to shiver. The air was *thick* with *the* ((I guess "a" is okay, but not very idiomatic)) threat of rain and was already moist because of the huge river below. Waves crushed against the shore causing (("creating" would be more normal)) another spray of mist.
Ryou stood there staring out into the *depths* of the river. The gentle wind blew again, causing his hair and green t-shirt that wasn’t stuck on only a few places on his body ((no comma - and that was pretty confusing; I'd use, "...green t-shirt that was stuck on all but a few places...")) to sway slightly. His jeans already clung to his legs because of the water that kept spraying.
He glanced down at the ring in his hands. The small light that had seemed to radiate from it was gone. That light had disappeared just a couple weeks ago, along with Bakura.
Bakura was gone.
He had committed suicide two weeks ago today. No one *knew* why. (("Knows" technically works, but it's so jarring that you had better be making a very strong point with it if you use it.))
Ryou had kept all of Bakura’s things. All the *knives* and guns and things he had stolen. But the thing that Ryou kept most dear was the Millennium Ring.
Though that now, he has to get rid of. ((Technically incorrect, but I rather like it.))
Yami came to him last week saying that Bakura was not able to go to the *afterlife.) For some reason, ((If you're going to use this weird sentence structure, you need a comma there.)) because Ryou still held the Millennium Ring, it blocked him from going.
The one thing that Bakura wanted he still couldn’t reach, even in death.
Ryou was keeping Bakura from happiness.
Yuugi had visited Ryou a couple ((I'd add "of" into this sentence, just because of the way it feels.)) days ago. He *hadn't* been to school since Bakura died.
“If you truly love *him,* Ryou, then let him *go,
| Ecea chapter 1 . 8/8/2004
I love it. please do more
| oldaccountthisisdumb chapter 1 . 8/7/2004
*sniff* ok that was really sad. Good Job i liked it!
| QueenOfGames2 chapter 1 . 8/7/2004
Aw Poor Ryou! It's really a twist that it was Bakura that committed suicide... that's something you don't always see. I really liked it, even though it was bloody depressing! Nice job though!
The *Queen Of Games*
| PerennialOutlander chapter 1 . 8/7/2004
sad. otherwise, quite a good short story, although i would have liked to hear more angst in Ryou's tone as to why Bakura did commit suicide, you know , the futile effort at trying to understand. hope to read more.
| GreeNSodAMagiC chapter 1 . 8/7/2004
Holy cow, this was the shortest one-shot ever, but it was so good! Like one word can say a million things, or something like that. Anyway...
I love it!