|Reviews for If I Knew the Way|
| Furionknight chapter 34 . 9/1/2011
Awesome story :)
| silverfey chapter 1 . 6/7/2005
Ack! You've gotten a new story up, and my stupid computer hasn't even alerted me! How terrible is that? : (
My dear, dearer, dearest Escaped, I am pleased to announce that my Junior year is over, and I am - nearly-almost-closeto - being free! I miss your reviews and witty side comments... and you, I can see, have lost none of your amazing talent and artistic abilities in the most talented area of writing... You're still awesome! But I see that you haven't updated in about... five months! Have you begun work on the next all-American-World-Wide-Astounding Novel? The Great Legacy of an Author called Escaped? Ah, I can hardly wait until that day, when I can peacefully look back and say "I read her works when..."
I apologize, deeply, for my long absence. I hope to hear from you again.
Go YOU! _-
| Night Has Fallen chapter 34 . 6/7/2005
Ack! You haven't written for, like... lemme count on my fingers... five... yes! FIVE MONTHS! don't abandon me like that! Uh, I mean, US like that! Your wonderfully creative and insightful and breathtaking and beautiful writing must continue, unhindered and undeterred!
We all need you!
Your Faithful, and Valiant Reader (who has not reviewed ever and apologizes most profusely)
Night Has Falled
| Verus Similis chapter 34 . 3/29/2005
Well... wow. I just stumbled on your fic today, and I love it! I'm sorry I didn't leave a review for each chapter, as your writing is so good I could undoubtedly have done so.
I love that your Severus is so very sure of himself. He strikes me as an individual of enormously strong will, who will make a considered decision and then keep it at any cost... ruling himself and a lot of the events around him by pure will. Sexy...! :) I agree with Emily about some of the ideal characteristics of a wizard...
I think my favourite thing about Emily is that she's just so real! She's almost impetuousness personified... and I think it's gotta be hard to introduce a character like that because while we all know people like that, it's hard to write them well because it's difficult to convey that they're gonna do poorly considered things, without making them overly dramatic (does this make any sense?) ... and you're doing a brilliant job in my opinion.
I also really like how a lot of the conflict stems from decisions Emily and Severus make which are entirely in character. So you have a tense story, but a believable one. And oh, I find Albus SO believable as a manipulator. He'd almost have to be... pure idealism just won't win wars. And of course he's nice to Harry as a little kid, but he still uses him.
I don't know if I agree with your conception of Harry. I actually think that in terms of things like coming from an abusive background, he has more in common with Severus than appears... after all, emotional abuse like the Durseley's give him is absolutely as bad as the physical kind, I should know. And he's coming to terms with the idea that Sirius and his dad might just have been jerks. Of course, unlike Hermione he's still not thinking that Snape might be a worthy person. He's really ruled by his emotions... Snape snarks, Harry retaliates. Of course, Snape is the adult here, and he still makes his first and all subsequent judgements on Harry through... puce-colored glasses? I'd say they're both responsible for their mutual misunderstanding.
Oh, one more thing... so glad the issue of Remus is not fully solved. Hmn... I think Emily would have been aware if her twin was a werewolf, simply because of the precautions it would have been necessary to take... and then of course, two people would have needed to use the Shrieking Shack, because Lupin and Eric were schoolfellows. So, I'm forced to conclude both Eric and Remus are gay, probably a trait more accepted in Slytherin House than Gryffindor. Eric also had the hots for Severus, I think, and essentially sacrificed himself for Severus. So in a way, (if I'm right) Severus is to be the death of one of the twins and the salvation of the other?
Anyway, please forgive the rambling... I'll stick around as I'm sure your story will continue in the same wonderful vein.
| LookFar chapter 25 . 3/6/2005
Oh, sweet. It's hard to write good sex and you've done a great job. They certainly waited long enough for this! I'm not sure I entirely believe that Emily could be this inexperienced. A technical virgin, yes, but so unfamiliar with sexual pleasure? Doesn't seem like her headstrong, impulsive personality.
Vocabulary quibble: Surety - you mean confirmation or reassurance. Surety is a financial word that means something like bond.
Thanks! I'm happily reading on.
| LookFar chapter 22 . 2/11/2005
I've never seen this before - a truly Slytherinish Slytherin who's one of the good guys. Or antiheroes. I salute you for not pulling your punches.
| LookFar chapter 13 . 2/3/2005
That golem battle had me on the edge of my seat. You have a great imagination and I look forward with each chapter to see what it will produce. And the solemn oath was swoonworthy. "I will give myself to you!" Phrased that way by a man, it is highly masculine; from a woman it would be a cliche.
I know this is old fashioned but you can't miss using standard English. There is no such word as "alright." I know, it's practically a neologism and will probaby appear in next New American Collegiate Dictionary or some such, but until then, could you please spare the feelings of traditionalists like me and use "all right?" All right?
I wondered about this:
"She rolled her eyes, knowing that he was just blowing off steam, using his injuries as a good excuse to snarl at anyone who crossed his path. "Well, you're not going to further my desire to come to your bed with that tone, Sevikins."
I thought it was obvious to both that her desires in this direction needed no furthering!
| LookFar chapter 11 . 2/2/2005
Excuse me while I fan myself. What a tease (you, not Snape)!
This is most definitely not canon Snape (handsome, indeed!). I was okay with the idea that he had once been an all-round swell guy and turned into the snarky "truly horrible person" of the books due to disappointed love, but he's a little too tender here for my liking. I'm not seeing JKR's threatening nasty rageaholic Snape, and I'd like just a little bit more of him...
Ah, to each his own (Snape).
| LookFar chapter 9 . 2/2/2005
Wow, what a great chapter! What pacing! What a great idea, to have Severus show Emily a memory he obliviated from her long ago. I've never seen this trope in all my fanfic reading. This one is durn near perfect.
Here are a few quibbles:
Ch. 7 -
A common fanfic error - “an enervating charm” - is to take the word enervate for its opposite meaning. To enervate is to make listless and tired. You want something stimulating and building-up, like Pepper-Up Potion.
Ch 8 -
“she warned lightly, affecting a slight upward turn of the potion master's mouth.” This is a lovely old fashioned phrase, but you’ve got the subject and object confused. It is Snape who might affect a smirk, or Emily who might affect a warning tone.
| LookFar chapter 7 . 1/31/2005
I like your short chapters; they're punchy. I would like you to take more time with your settings - just a few more sentences to create the scene. That's part of the trouble with fanfic. We all know what the place looks like and it makes us a wee bit complacent about describing it. Obviously the relationship between SS and EG is the main point, but a little more description would enhance your exciting plotting.
Here are my nitpicky quibbles:
These three paragraphs sum up the conflict between them and set up the tension:
She would show them all what Emily Grey was made of, then pass from this world before they had a chance to thank her. On the other side of Emily's inherent playful nature lay a vast hoard of black-hearted spite, a trait that he found to be positively endearing.
He glanced at her preoccupied face as they headed back toward the castle. Oh, yes. He knew his Emily all too well, and he would find a way to keep her from carrying out her morbid plans. There had to be something in this world she would find worthy of her continued existence, and before this monstrous chore ended, he would find it.
He would no more accept her death than he would her continued imprisonment. One way or another, Emily was going to be happy.
So now we are waiting to see how he does it!
I find it amusing that the word “endearing” should be applied to a hoard of black-hearted spite, and I think you mean it to be. They do seem to be joined at the Slytherin point.
This doesn’t work for me: “he was wearing a smirk under steely eyes,” because so often one expression beneath another in the eyes implies that they are both centered in the eyes. I think it would work better to say that his lips formed a smirk, but his eyes remained steely.
| LookFar chapter 6 . 1/31/2005
I'm enjoying this a lot! I came here through the multifaceted awards. Emily is a great creation, believable and unique, and I can truly imagine her picking the young Severus as her life mate, out of perversity as well as love. I'm really looking forward to the inevitable love scenes. You've done a lot of good background with the runic spells.
Here are my nitpicky quibbles:
“Presently” means in the near future. The word you want is “currently.”
“Reknowned” is the proper word I believe, not “reknown.”
You mean “reluctance.” Reticence is shyness, held-backness.
This didn’t seem right to me - “She tapped a finger impatiently, staring into his eyes with an intensity she rarely possessed “- Isn’t she pretty intense all the time?
Thanks for some good reading!
| lolhaiguyz chapter 34 . 1/30/2005
omg what an excellent chapter but it was to short *cries* your really good at leaving ppl in angst waiting for your next chapter but please make the next one longer D oh and do you have omething like msn? because that way i can try and squeeze bits of info outta you about the new chapter _~
| lonelyangel21 chapter 34 . 1/29/2005
Now I know! But OMG I wasn't expcting THAT! Woah. Honestly. Woah. Really didn't see that coming!
idea on how to encorporate (spelt wrong I know) that into the story! Groovy.
Em's is comming over as being quite confuzzled right now. But she gave the Dark Lord a HUG! WTF! My gosh that would be a funny thing to watch. Tee hee.
Like the bit 'Professor of Potions, Potions Master, actually' guy.
Woot! Cant wait for the next chapter. Yay!
| sunshinecorner chapter 1 . 1/29/2005
ooh i had an idea that eric had something for severus by when he was in tears when he saw the young sev in hospital ...
please don't make emily evil (sorry if shes not, but she seems that way right now). her and sev all the way:) or maybe sev and eric! that would be great:P
this story is truely great. others i read and forget but this one, is just fantastic. I agree with another reviewer you're dumbledore seems more wiser:) better than those corny 'i love everyone' dumbledores people write him out to be.. keep on writing!:) it makes my day when i've seen you've updated.
is it nearing the end?:( i have a sad feeling about that, all good things must come to a ned i guess...
have a good day:)
| Dianatyne chapter 34 . 1/28/2005
Mean? Me? well, when I can't think of anything to say I usually end up spiraling into the ridiculous - we all have to be good at something! I can't wait to see where this confrontation leads though judging from the fact that Eric's dead I have a pretty good idea. Don't leave me hangin' sister!