|Reviews for The Dream Trilogy Book 2: Tread On My Dreams|
| SkyPalaceBuilder chapter 5 . 2/20
(Sorry, I accidentally sent that review before it was done, and didn't let me post a second review for the chapter, so here's the full thing):
Actually, Draco is Sirius's [first] cousin once removed, and Nymphadora Tonks is Sirius's cousin once removed, too.
But, other than that error, phenomenal chapter. I really liked the first book of The Dream Trilogy, but so far this second book is shaping out to be even more incredible. It's such an interesting premise(s?), and the writing is really high quality.
And, I know it's a small detail, but I'm glad that you acknowledged Draco, Sirius, and Tonks being related - I always found that fact fascinating, and felt like not enough people do [acknowledge that].
| SkyPalaceBuilder chapter 4 . 2/20
Actually, Draco is Sirius's [first] cousin once removed, and Nymphadora Tonks is Sirius
| Nyajiou chapter 9 . 10/30/2017
Nice! I think I liked the first book a little more, but the twists and turns in this one kept my interest. This trilogy is shaping up to be a absolute fave and I haven't even read the third book yet. All in all, really good.
| little-semanggi chapter 9 . 2/26/2017
So...things become more escalated instead of calming down. On to the book three then! ~~
I must say tho, this sequel is awesome! A tad bit different and certainly not make me as thrilled as the book 1.. but it's still terrific!
And...I actually don't like Sarah, dunno why. Maybe because she's too volatile, too shifted, too fragile. Or maybe because...she's just too weak (sorry, I know she's great and it's normal for a child her age to act like that, but i like your story so i want to get honest with my feelings x,D) ?
I enjoy a reformed Malfoy though, even if the idea of the curse-rebound-because-of-mother's-love-and-get-a-cool-scar was a bit too strikingly similar to our protagonist.
And the other Harry...grr that cocky D,: little-
I hope he can see sense soon, it's painful otherwise.
| Kathie chapter 2 . 11/8/2016
fantastic, I loved the first one but I lost interest slowly w/ the second. I do love the first one though. 3
| Birds Love Words chapter 8 . 4/7/2016
Noooooooooo OMG I did NOT see that one coming! Well, just when you thought this was a mess, Book 3 is really going to have some trouble to sort out!
Okay, criticism time. If you don't want to read anything negative about your story, please avert your eyes now!
This book didn't seem as strong as the first one. It felt like more a T.V. reunion show than a sequel. The action scenes were bleh, the mysterious bad guys were bugs that weren't even malicious, and the Death Eaters basically served no purpose except to repeatedly capture and lose the main characters. It was like the characters tried to have an epic fight in the Ministry and failed because they forgot to actually do stuff. And the potential of having like 80% of the wizarding world frozen in time? Come on, a real evil villain could do so much better than just stealing a measly prophecy in the down-time (or prophecy child...I'm actually confused as to why they needed to freeze people at all). Voldemort should have used the bugs on all his enemies, then killed them while they couldn't resist, and then used the bugs on Gringotts to steal all the money he ever wanted. Oh, and somehow get into Hogwarts too during Dumbledore's incapacitation. His evilness was kind of pale in comparison to his AU counterpart.
Speaking of counterparts, I was so excited to see Draco as the main character, but he fell flat in this book. I don't know how to say this without sounding sadistic, but he didn't suffer enough. What made him so compelling in the first book was that he clearly had suffered (and was still suffering) the effects of multiple traumatic experiences, but he was still able to fight through his issues and redeem himself. In this book, he seemed resolved and at peace. That's good for the natural progression of his development, so I don't really know why I'm complaining about it... However, I think his detachment translated into a lack of emotional response when it really would have advanced his character. He seemed emotionally detached from this world, and it made me care less about it, even though it's the 'canon' world. There wasn't the same sense of 'If you don't go save the world right now you will lose A, B, and C'; it was more like, 'Hey, your friend and his friends are going to go save the world out of habit. Want to tag along?' You could have had any situation you wanted to evoke an emotional response from him, like saving his mother from the Death Eaters, or trying to redeem his father, or even fighting his father and Voldemort purely in revenge for his mother's death in his world - punishing them for a crime that hasn't happened yet. It's your sandbox, so you could have taken it anywhere.
I do like that you turned him into a BWL - I actually didn't see that one coming until a few paragraphs in advance. Well done. It was heartbreaking to watch Narcissa sacrifice herself for her son - even though it wasn't really him. Although, once again, I was expecting more of a reaction from Draco.
I felt like Draco and Harry's scenes were interchangeable, except you used up all of your 'emotion words' on Draco's flashback scenes, leaving only a little for Draco in the present, and even less for Harry. Draco's flashback scenes didn't have that original desperation and burning desire for revenge that drove him in the first book. Harry felt like a sidekick in his own story - no real reaction other than a hug and a smile throughout the book at the thought of his sister - the only real family he's ever known - suddenly landing in his universe. He didn't even freak out at the thought of sending her back! No tears, no begging her to stay, no inner turmoil. Shouldn't they have had an emotional, brother/sister bonding moment? They did more of that in the kitchen scene at Godric's Hollow in Book 1 than they did in the entirety of this book. There was a stronger bromance between Harry and Draco than there was any other relationship between any characters in the book. I appreciated your attempt to give Ron a bit of roundness, but it was through the same old Ronald character trait - jealousy.
Why was Sarah there? I can't find any identifiable reason for her character to be there. Now that she's been left behind with Draco, I see that she might serve some plot purpose. But otherwise, she didn't do anything that couldn't have been accomplished by Harry. The whole point of the AU switching is to get a certain person somewhere to save the world. Sarah didn't do anything world-altering in this book...except maybe make friends with Snape. (Just kidding! I like him too, he's another tortured antihero.)
I liked your concept of the slowly-flooding Ministry. It was a really cool ticking-time-bomb plot device...until it turned out to not be dangerous to a single effing character. That was really disappointing. Don't add in a plot device and then undermine it by making it irrelevant for the important scenes, like getting Harry to the battle on level 10. I understand that the characters have magic, okay? But some magical excuses come off as just that - magical excuses. I would say that the whole secret-chamber-window-air-bubble thing was a plot hole, but it was more of a deus ex machina. Don't write yourself into a corner! If you get your characters into a situation that they can't possibly get out of because you don't know how to get out of it yourself, delete the last five pages! You're the author, don't write the problem if you don't have the solution! I thought for sure Harry would just ask one of the ever-so-friendly portraits "Hey, what's the incantation for the Bubble-Head Charm?" or "Is there any portrait of yourself you can go to in Diagon Alley to get some help?" Just write simple, believable solutions to your problem.
I've held off on saying anything until now, but there are some glaring, obvious typos in this fic. For example, the word 'Auror(s)' has been auto-corrected to the word 'aurora(s)' every time. Literally every single time. Also, you repeatedly mixed up the words 'wandered' and 'wondered'. To wander is to move about a place aimlessly; to wonder is to consider or think about something. You have TONS of other homophone errors, like 'whole' versus 'hole' etc., etc. You also have a bad habit of combining questions and statements into a single, confusing sentence. For example, "Get off me, Lucius?" should be "Get off me. Lucius?" You have the same mistake in most of your dialogue scenes.
Too many sentences were ruined by awkward errors. When Voldemort was destroyed, it says the room "feel" down rather than "fell" down. There were also lots of little mistakes with "you're" vs. "your" and all the other classic homophone pairings. I think it would be well worth your effort to find a really good beta to edit this whole series (Book 1 included - I didn't say anything back then because I was so enthralled with the story, but it had a lot of the same issues).
Overall, I'd say this was a decent follow-up to the first book. It lacked some of the strongest qualities of the first book, but it's okay on its own merit. I'll hope the last chapter and Book 3 redeem the series.
| Birds Love Words chapter 2 . 4/3/2016
Grey legwarmers on Terry's wrists? Is everyone BLIND? They can't be that stupid...or maybe they are. Sorry, I had to write that first.
Anyway, I'm so glad there's a second story! I can't wait to see what's going to happen. Hmm...I wonder if it'll only be Harry this time, or if the others will be caught up in it because they were in the same dimensional hotspot. I really want to know if 'Good Harry' still went through the rest of year 5 the same...I'll have to read the next chapter to find out!
Oh, and Puff was adorable by the way! Sooo cute!
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/22/2015
SHEEESH! I can't believe these stories don't have more reviews! Theyre so well written and intriguing and different to anything I've read so far. I'm so invested in the characters already and can't wait to read how they develop over the trilogy! !
| Uncertain Shifter chapter 9 . 8/3/2015
I liked this book too,but it wasn't quite as captivating as the first one.I do love the brother theme you have going on between Harry and Draco though!I always love seeing those two working together!
Looking forward to reading the third book! _
| FirePhoenix86 chapter 9 . 2/15/2015
ARGH! I can't read book three today. I cannot read book three today! I only got one hour of sleep and it's now 4 pm...I've literally been reading (aside from that one hour) for 13 hours!
I have other things to do today! I just have to keep repeating to myself. I cannot read book three today!
| FirePhoenix86 chapter 8 . 2/15/2015
I lost my mother almost exactly two years ago now. I would give anything to see her memories. I feel so bad for Draco to see those memories...
Oh no! And then to see his mom die again?! That was cruel!
Oh man...two of the stories in one day! Well...I have one more chapter. But I intend on finishing it.
HOLY TWIST ENDING BATMAN! ONWARD!
| FirePhoenix86 chapter 7 . 2/15/2015
OH MY GOD! HARRY IS SUCH A BAD ASSSe! HOLY CRAP!
I just love the whole water level thing. Makes the whole chapter seem like a game from Mario Brothers. "Oh, looks like our next challenge is a water level!"
"I hate water levels..."
| FirePhoenix86 chapter 6 . 2/15/2015
Oh noooooo! Poor Draco! Seeing his mom like that so suddenly! :C Poor guy...but nice that he gets to see her alive again!
I love all the Draco back story!
WHAT?! Why...would they be researching Dimensional Hotspots?! ARGH! I must go on!
| FirePhoenix86 chapter 4 . 2/15/2015
This was my reaction to the second half of this chapter.
"Oh my god..."
"Oh my holy crap!"
"Oh no! O good god no!"
"oh...oh no...oh god..."
For like 15 minutes...
| SusanMarieS chapter 9 . 1/16/2015
Once again this is so original. I still absolutely love your Draco. Dobby is a nice touch as well. I'm a big fan of Draco and Hermione. And although i don't usually like original characters your Sarah is cool. Thanks so much for the story.