Reviews for Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills
Forever Me chapter 51 . 5/17
This was one of the best Harry Potter fanfictions I have ever read! Thank you so much for writing it!
I just don't have the words for it, besides that the story was amazing!

Again, thank you for writing this story!

Forever Me
Guest chapter 43 . 5/13
You cant describe every spell in a fight by simply saying " a powerful curse" no describe the spell how is it powerful its colour shape show the power rather state it and then mention brefley what it did and sometimes not even that
Guest chapter 43 . 5/13
You have to define what someone's been hexed with eg you said lucius managed to hex harry in the back. That is so vague it could range from stinging hex to cutting hex or a blasting hex like reducto which could have killed him by blowing him to bits. Again practically every curse has the same effect which kind of gets boring
Guest chapter 43 . 5/13
Again a quite disapointing action scene. Dont get ne wrong you guys are awesome but action scenes are defineatly not your forte. Your discription in such encounters is as chaotic as the battle itself which would work out if yoo were writing in first person present tense but as it is no. You really need to create an immage of a battle and i dont really get cos al i know is that there are death eaters somewhere and harry knows they are there and seems to be throwing some curses shelds and dodging you sjould also describe in DETAIL what is going on and consider other things that can be used in battle such as conjuration and transfiguration especially since the unforgivables cant be blocked. I can see that every single hex no matter the inacntation is a banishing hex i.e throws people around nothing more. In HP each hex has a different effect and only 1 incantation eg confrigio- powerfull blasting hex like an explosion or diffindo - cutting hex not to mention reducto also consider wordless casting and as someone as efficient a dueler as snape he should be able to block most verbal spells with ease as it gives him enough time to prepare. From what i remember Family Bonds has some good action scenes and so does Darkness within and Delenda Est as well as HP and the power of time for some examples
awesome reviewer chapter 36 . 5/12
Not to be a party pooper or anything just some constructive crit i can slightly see where the guest guy is coming from but hes way too harsh on you its a great story, mind you it did piss me of a lt on those same chapters as he was raging on about but that was the point and the feel ofc the story. Love smythe-wellington great character btw While i agree that at first rons and hermiones relationship was quite childish in a sense that their bechaviour towards each other was exactly like friends its good that you did develop that later on . No what i want to criticise is your action/ battle moments which could do with improving and have some inconsistencies first of all snape first gets beaten by wormtail and than goile sr. I would uderstand it it was a capable death eater but REALLY if i was that snape i would be ashamed and cried in a corner after that. You use a lot of spells but dont really describe their effects or the death eaters reaction to them. Your setting should be key and half the time i cant really picture exactly whats going on here in this battle also snape gets STUNNED you dont get up from that your unconsious you need to be revived
Guest chapter 34 . 5/11
Your take on romance and going out is relly bad. I mean they are 16/17 not 12 ron and hermoine are behaving like they are 12 tho. I mean i would be offended if my gf was embaressed to show any emotion towards me in front of people i find that girls when they really like you are slightly more posesive but i feel you should already be aware of that. for gods sake i know your trying to make it a k or a t fic but appart from like 2 moments i dont see the change in ther attitudes towards each other. I mean couples cuddle togather hold hands and such at least. I dont know how old you are but have yoy ever been in a relationship - at least make it more realistic and believable cos there is literally nothing in rons and hermiones normal attitude indicating that they like each other
Guest chapter 33 . 5/11
P.S and you didnt make the twins funny in my opinion so thats a big minus from me
Guest chapter 33 . 5/11
Omg you didnt oh no nononononono nooooooo! You actualy went along with the idiotic idea that harrys power that voldemort knows not is LOVE. I weep for this fic i was hoping harry will become less useless as time goes on, you know like developing the character, making him harder better more ruthless in order to do what needs to be done you know like it happens in real life in soldiers and such instead you gave him power that is more hindrance than help, no one to really help him harness it only telling him to get his shit togather and on top harry remaining weak naive and helpless and his "power" is people that are willing to die for him in order to give him a lucky shot at voldie if love was so powerfull it could defeat him then that Henderson guy would have destroyed voldemort when he threatened and than killed his family. at least in the book Rowling realised how stupid that was and introduced the elder wand and harry being the master of it as the reason he won that very disappointing onebang of a duel but this... let me guess the ending will be just as disappointing with either someone dying to save harry and give him a lucky scanky shot or voldemort will threaten to kill someone he loves and harry aided by the power of love will defeat him or he might just kiss him to death i mean moldie might get a coronary you never know . Love can be an important psycological factor and motivator however you need to actually have some power and skills to be motivated which harry lacks in abundance on top of being unstable emotionally which never helps in any fight might as well get ginny killing voldie while harry hides bechind her. Hate fics that make harry more yseless and clueless than in the books which i find is quite hard to do considering but you pulled it off spectacularly. The only reason i stayed was due to interesting character developments and good writing technique but this is where we part ways so dissapointed :'( you were supposed to be a good fic
Guest chapter 31 . 5/10
You guys really have good writing stile apart from some action scenes it was great however i did fi d myself feeling more depressed with each new chapter. Somehow harry cant do anything right and even tho nobody apparantly blames him for anything the feel of the fic is Defneatly not adventure and drama but more like angst and hurt with very little comfort. Frankly i dont see what people see i this fic your writing is good dont get me wrong but there is nothing beutifull about the pol however i can uderstand why the readers would cry due to the constantly hopeless and depressing atmosphere
Guest chapter 29 . 5/10
I hope you do understand that what they are trying to do is wrong and damaging both for harry mentally and others around him. Calming yourself like that its wrong on so many levels especially with the amount of stress he is under and the professors attitudes pissing him of half the time just as much as voldemort. Calming yourself just bottles up the anger the anger and resentment he feels are still there but buried he will explode eventually as we have seen and he lashes out at everything then. He needs to work through his anger productively, train get better work his anger of on a punching bag someting but not keep it bottled up as it usually festers and turns into hate and bitterness
Guest chapter 29 . 5/10
Not sure if treating harry like a helpless invalid is making him one or if he was one to begin with. I find it quite funny how they all tell him to control his temper while simultanously pour more oil in the fire. Im sprised no one is actually helping him get better and train with all the stuff going on and everyone being less than helpful are they rely suprised he is turning bitter and hot tempered especially with their attitudes i would lash out if i was treated like useless waste and a pawn by the order and expect to take it.
. Also voldemort must be incredibly stupid not to win this war i really dont see whats taking him so long he seems to ve the only half competent guy out there between ministry getting in the way and the order useless as well as not training harry and basically repeating their old mistakes in a spectacular new way voldie should anhialate them
Guest chapter 27 . 5/10
You say here that pettegrew is incompetent but from what i see snape and harry are the incompetent ones that only managed to beat him 2 to 1 due to pure luck. I reckon your pettegrew has more chance of defeating the dark lord than it was always my belief that snape could wipe the floor with petegrew blindfolded and one legged but you clearly made it seem like snape is almost as hopeless as harry. I really wonder why they haven't lost the war yet i guess its just luck like everyting else
Guest chapter 21 . 5/9
Dont know if that was the point but i feel more and more that harry is as useful as the firs r in February and if he ever actually defeats voldemort it will be even more due to luck than in the books which says a lot so im guessing the point is to create a hopeless powerless harry that is of no use in the war always kept in the dark and so on instead of actually helping him getting rid of voldemorts influence and training him up. Therefore i havent enjoyed this fic lately
finnythewise chapter 51 . 4/27
*sniff* This was so beautiful!
I laughed and cried in equal measures T_T
FluffyBubbleFire chapter 51 . 4/26
Thank you so much for writing this. I've lost count of the number of times I've cried while reading this, and it is all because you and your mother are such brilliant writers. You really brought to life the importance and true power of love-I'd say even better than JK Rowling did. Keep writing!
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