|Reviews for Lonely Words|
| PhillyGirl27 chapter 1 . 6/17/2016
You really nailed Steph's voice here, Susan! Even to the point of wallowing in Denial Land! I am a definite Babe but also a Tart fan, so seeing Joe in Steph's thoughts in a not-so-good light is very rewarding for me! Thanks for this very good one-shot! -Kathy
| rangerbabe.1 chapter 1 . 11/24/2013
| Stangmanism chapter 1 . 1/10/2012
Interesting take on the character.
when I think of Stephanie Plum, I normally think of snark and wit, but this still sounded like the character.
I liked it. Hope to see more.
| SuperSekritID chapter 1 . 2/14/2011
You've written 220 stories? I'm totally blown away! I was referred to Holiday Cheer (I guess I should leave the review for that in the appropriate place, huh?) and was impressed by the quality of the writing, went to your profile and ... good golly, Miss Molly! 220 stories! Wondered whether the quality of writing was consistent throughout and selected this one next.
Pretty good. Now, I noticed in a couple of places you asked for constructive criticism, and I'm taking you at your word.
So, first: If you're writing in the first person, especially casual narrative, being inside someone's head, you can use contractions - can't, won't, I'm, I'll etc - rather than the full, formal construction of cannot, will not, I am, I will etc. Formal construction takes you out of the intimacy of being in her head. Of course, you don't have to use contractions if you don't want to, just giving you feedback.
Second: ...just can't help but think... and its variations (can't help but stare; can't help but feel; can't help but be a cliche...) is the most horrible, unnecessary, mindlessly repeated phrase used in every second fanfic and has no place in your writing. Leave it out. Just say it. I think, I suspect, I stared, I want...
If you really need to, say My eyes were glued to the drop of water, trickling slowly over the curve of his pectorals before picking up speed over his six-pack stomach and disappearing into the tuft of hair above the towel. I couldn't help myself. The man is a god and I was worshipping.
Good job for evoking the slight melancholy of Steph's loneliness.
| Mik N'jirnav chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
Good insight into Steph's thought process...
| bgrgrmp chapter 1 . 12/5/2009
| S.Bagley chapter 1 . 8/13/2004
hi.. ive read all the books and im in the middle of the 10th one.. this is really really good.. awsome job!