|Reviews for Fragile Clay: Beginnings 1:1|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/2
Is this over?
Is this a oneshot or is there another chapter?
If it's over please change it to completed
| cko2 chapter 1 . 9/7/2014
Very nice story. Different pouint of veiw from minor support charsters and that iscwhat makes it seem better that way. Thanks for writting andcsharing.
| ijpowers92 chapter 1 . 10/14/2012
well you weren't too subtle about the kids being Ranma's and Hiroshi's kids. The note about "dad sneaking up on mom" and eating habits.
| ceebbees1234 chapter 1 . 11/11/2011
so...long..and...awsom...ovr it...reading volume 2
| BlackRoseFire chapter 1 . 11/20/2009
Awesome story O can't wait to read the next one.
| Warbender chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
Now this is a plotline concept. I have not run accross before. The way you have presented this is nothing short of amazing. Well done. Now I shall read the next one of this series. I hope that it is as well presented, structured, and ballanced as this one. Really "Read Worthy"
| Asgeras chapter 1 . 9/18/2007
Good fic. I think I read it when it was first published (on a different website), but it's certainly been a while. The fic kind of reminds me of yet another, but I digress.
There aren't a whole lot of complaints for me. There seemed to be a decent balance between all of the angst and the happy/ romantic moments, in my opinion.
Speaking of which, I'm looking forward to reading the next installment
My main two problems arise towards the end. First off, you have Cologne. I usually can't envision her is some sort of malevolent being. True, she shows a rather keen intellect, but she just doesn't use it in that way...at least canon wise. She's usually smiling when she's around Ranma, and I'm not talking about an evil grin. I'm talking about an honest to goodness smile. Plus, I can't exactly see her taking such steps against Shampoo. I could go on, but I think I've made my opinion known. That being said, they certainly have some powerful enemies ahead of them.
There's Cologne, of course, but the other Amazon's would also likely follow. From what I gathered, this takes place after the whole Jusendo incident. Thus, the phoenix tribe could also end up allying themselves with the amazons. If all of that happens, it's quite likely that the Musk would ally themselves with Ranma. Worst case scenario, they would probably stay out of the limelight.
The other thing I disliked was the ending. You, essentially, had Hiroshi admitting his feelings for Ranma. Well, at least to himself. However, you also have him pocketing the cursed necklace, despite just having admitted that it should be on 24 hours a day (vault included) in order to truly understand Ranma. I know the probable reason, but the relatively quick turnaround was a little odd.
Anyway, I really need to get to bed. Once again, thanks for the fic.
| Queen of the Paperclips chapter 1 . 9/1/2007
I'm really happy that I was able to read this story again. i first read it (and the sequel stories) about 6 years ago, and it really showed me how well done fanfiction can be. In addition, Hiroshi's character really inspired me (and Daisuke cracks me up). Looking at your profile, I'm ecstatic to see that in the past year you've added more stories. I can't wait to read them!
Please continue writing, you have a wonderful gift.
| Materia-Blade chapter 1 . 5/7/2007
Oh! Hai hai. I have read this before. I read it to the end of the "Beginnings" arc but haven't yet read further. I'll say this. The writing is incredible (if a bit excessive with rampant capitalization)
And I remember exactly WHY I didn't read on as well. The problem was I was annoyed that Hiroshi suddenly has fighting ability. QUITE annoyed. While it's probably explained in this, the second arc as to WHY he has such ability, it just annoys me. Hiroshi gets unimaginable power (Ranma can't simply STOP Cologne on his best day. Hiroshi did though? And Ranma isn't... oh i dunno... curious? Pissed even? I know I would be mildly annoyed/curious if a martial arts nobody suddenly whooped the crap outta someone I couldn't beat.) The obvious 'power through the amulet' thing most people would assume can't be where he got the power either really since you stated that Cologne felt this aura before She'd even given him the amulet! Meaning that Hiroshi has been some underground badass all along!(In turn shifting the main line of attention away from the one Ranma)
Not to mention the sheer unlikeliness of someone reciting poetry on a whim more than once in a year let alone a day. I suppose there are people who are genuinely like that, and I figure you are probably one of them but based on the manga, it's hard to picture Hiroshi with these heartfelt er... sayings popping out every twenty minutes.
Not necessarily a bad thing, but to a younger me, with a short attention span and an undying passion for Ranma as the center of attention, it was.
While I'm still mildly irked by this (Not to mention KUNO holding back on RANMA! *Materia cringes in effort to avoid strangling Kaoru a bit.*) the story is incredibly written. Besides that it also has an incredible plot and deeply moving insights into the human heart with all the right pulls of this poor readers delicate heartstrings.
A bow to you. You are one of the greats and I will gladly continue to read. Granted some of the things written in there irked me such as a bit of ooc and the things mentioned above, but the quality is high enough that these details can be ignored so I can savor the richness of a new sea of text with which to feast my eyes on.
As in IRC. (slash)me bows.
| James Birdsong chapter 1 . 2/22/2006
Yay its fabulous
| obsidian-fox chapter 1 . 10/16/2004
You say that Daisuke and Hiroshi are Ranma's friends. I've read much of the manga... and they aren't. Ranma doesn't have any friends. Daisuke and Hiroshi are simply faces representing boys from the crowd. They make fun of Ranma for his curse, try to get him as a girl so they can oggle him.
But they aren't his friends. Not truly. They're definitely not "best" friends. Best friends are people you trust and can fall back on when your own life is going to hell.
But, I can treat this as AU from canon, and pretend that Daisuke and Hiroshi are true friends to Ranma. Even so, I wouldn't believe they'd have any sort of sexual relationship. Sure, Ranma's equipped for it more than most people in slash relationships, but he's also as macho as they come.
Even if he could love another guy (and I admit it is certainely possible, even if he finds girls more attractive), actually acting on it would require admitting it to himself... and as we know from Ranma's experiences with Akane, Ranma's very good at denying truth when it comes to his own feelings.
Now, admittedly, I haven't read your first chapter yet. I've only read your author notes and the bit with Nabiki (note: that almost drove me away. How would Ranma be carrying around that much money? Not a chance. Genma would steal it first, if Nabiki wouldn't have stolen it yesterday.) If I do finish this chapter, I'll review it at the end of chapter two.
| Upgrade chapter 1 . 9/9/2004
Excellent story. The use of Hiroshi and Daisuke was a rare treat.
| carbonatedQ chapter 1 . 10/25/2002
err first of all, its 'ai ren' not 'ai lan'
it means 'lover' in mandarin
also, 'aiya' is roughly translated into "oh no!"
this is well written to say the least; editing some of the part where everyone was chasing ranma would be a good idea though... i kinda got lost in that fight :P
| Alice White chapter 1 . 1/27/2002
I love this story and wish that you would continue with it, although for some reason your site can't be acessed. I read the recent chapter you posted for this series do you plan on putting the rest on ? This is one of my favorite Ranma 1/2 stories and I just wanted say to keep up the good work.