Reviews for Souls of Chaos: the new members
Epic fail chapter 17 . 5/18/2011
Hi! Just thought I'd drop by to give you a word of advice.

Uncorrect is not a word. It should be INcorrect.

If you're going to bash someone else's story, at least use proper grammar, ok? Ok!

That is all. :)

(By the way, if you don't know what I'm talking about, look at the story "Senior Year" by mtd4417.)
Atilia Dawn Black chapter 17 . 8/3/2009
I'm sorry, I really tried to read this story because it sounded like a good one from the summary, but I just can't get past your writing style. But that's just me, everyone has their preferences. I think your style is a bit jumpy. Like, you state facts of what one persons doing for 2 seconds then another person for 2 seconds, calm down and concentrate on details for a little bit. Maybe you did change in the other chapters and I didn't notice cause I could barely get through the fight scene in chap. 1. And I also think you have too many crossovers in one story. And if you are going to have that many, you should kind of give them a bit of a background before you jump into the action, like who is Jade? I know the x-men, not all the others. So basically my advice is to give more details and descriptions.

Atilia Dawn Black
Purity Black chapter 12 . 9/11/2005
OMG, Bats has dirty dreams about Catwoman? So wrong. . .must wash brain! That line about the utility belt made me laugh out loud! Heh, and Logan'll go schitz over his bike - if it were me, I'd blame Scott! But I'm very mean to Scott. . .
Purity Black chapter 11 . 9/11/2005
I found the idea of prank-calling superheroes wierdly funny - "Hello, Flash? Is your refrigerator running?"

"It's me, Bruce. I just can't deny my feelings for ou anymore! Run away with me! We'll live in sin forever and. . .sorry, Wonder Woman? I was trying to get Cat Woman!"

Ahem. The image of Riptide hitting Gambit over the head with a cast was also pretty funny.I can just see him going cross-eyed and muttering "Mon Dieu!" or similar. . .uh, I'm in a weird mood tonight, does it show?
q.t a.k.a spice chapter 11 . 7/12/2005
Good job.I agree about the dialogues is good that you are improving in every chapter. Keep it up!

Luv ya lots!

BTW, I updated QOTSK2!

41eugoR chapter 11 . 7/10/2005
Sorry for the late review. Got tangled in real life stuff. wrote everyone's dialogues in one paragraph again. It's extremely hard to understand who's saying what and to whom. You should correct and repost this. Oh and good news, I updated 'R for Revenge'
Agent-G chapter 1 . 6/4/2005
Well I tried reading this but I just get the feeling I'm missing too much for instance the bit with Jade and pokemon? Plus I've never seen Inuyasha.

Plus I don't see why they wouldn't believe them all they had to do was check Cerebro for an x-gene.

Also you got a few really bad spelling in this like Sand Francisco (San Fransico) Hollywood is one word. Mainly I don't comment on spelling errors but I try the line as names.
Rogue14 chapter 1 . 6/2/2005
Oh no I haven't given up on my story. I'm just having exams right now.
q.t a.k.a spice chapter 9 . 5/25/2005
It's Ken Ichijoji from season 2 of Digimon,baby!

q.t a.k.a spice chapter 10 . 5/24/2005
Great job.I do get the it's been so long.I'm sorry if I getting impatient with me but after those 2 weeks up, hopefully I'll update so u can.

Luv Ya!

SHAWN PROVONCHA chapter 10 . 5/4/2005
great job.
41eugoR chapter 10 . 4/26/2005
Sorry for the late review. Busy with studies as usual. kind of wrote everyone's dialogues in one paragraph, which made it extremely hard for me to understand. Hehe...but (Todd or Remy?) trying to eat Pikachu made me giggle. BTW, I visited your website. Your art was cute _ The Batgirl section was really cool. Great job! Well write more soon.
Purity Black chapter 10 . 4/9/2005
Hey! The computer’s actually still working! Wow, can’t use it for days and days and suddenly it decides to behave…anyway, I liked the new chapter. Batman! I was just reading a NML comic and now a Batman fic too. Riptide and Amara getting closer, I’m weirdly fond of these two together. And Remy’s psychotic episode with a microwave made me laugh out loud! I can’t think who Ken might be – maybe I’m just dense. Glad to hear you’re writing chap 11, hope to se it soon on my brand – new computer! Coz this one is not co-operating…As to next chapter desires, aside from looking forward to more Batman and Logan interaction I can't think of anything off the top of my head - I'll trust your judgement!
Ana Morales chapter 2 . 4/7/2005
Alright, if you want my opinion on're getting there. Equipment is still a little big for her to use, unless you're going with the idea that this is before she lost her ability to speak again (I think it was issue 11 or 12...). This is a very interesting story, but it's kind of hard to follow-too much going on in each chapter. Maybe attempt only two groups in each chapter, so you can flesh it out. Don't rely solely on dialogue, either. And make sure your tenses agree. If this is all supposed to be in the first person, keep it there.

Best of luck! _ Overall, montaza! (Sorry, my arabic getting away from me...I need to practice badly...)
41eugoR chapter 9 . 1/26/2005
Hi. Sorry that it took such a long time to review. *Sigh* Exams. *Blinks* What's this? A PC chasing girls? And is it me or have I read the Riptide and Amara scene before? Hmm...As for your Ken the character from Street Fighter? Cause that's the only Ken I know. Lol. And *Gasps* you're making a pic for your fic? I'm making one for my fic too _ Though it will be half a year before it's completed :-( Stupid exams and tuitions. Oh and by the way, I update 'R for Revenge'
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