|Reviews for She Will Be Loved|
| AmpItUp chapter 1 . 7/26/2005
Dont feel bad! Some PPL are jerks! This is a cool ficcy! Anyone with half a brain could follow the story! True, a little OOC but all in all a cutie Ryuki ficcy! .
| Kristala-Silverlight chapter 1 . 2/11/2005
Overall it wasn't that bad. It was a bit confusing with the scenes jumps and everything, but could still be followed. True Rika was never kidn to Ryo, but you took a chance at making them a couple...so who cares if there were OOC moments, it's called artistic licensing. Especially since it's your story and you can write them however you want to. Keep on writing, cause I like your stories and would enjoy reading more of them.
| Zefie chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
Your rong, your not an idiot, your a moronic idiot, and your story SUCKED! It wouldn't have sucked if you had any talent at all. It needs to be more clear and needs a LOT MORE detail. And Rika isn't that warm, especialy to Ryo, I mean ESPECIALY Ryo, and have you forgotten that she is an ice queen? There was also to many out of character moments aswell. You need to know the characters before writing a story, or at least give us some for warning. I know I'm a bitch, and can be harsh, but I speek my mind, and your story is the worst story I've ever read. Where did you get your tallent? The old and used junk only a dollar store. And this song just doesn't work for Ryuki, maybe Takari, but NOT Ryuki.
| AmethystB chapter 1 . 8/25/2004
Ok, overall, not a bad fic, in fact it was better than what most people are giving credit for. However, you really need to structure the story before you write it; that's how you create a good story. And try to keep it so most people will follow what's happening, and not riding up and down on this rollercoaster of collective scenes. If that didn't make any sense to you, don't worry - it probably didn't make sense to me either.
Anyway, you need to plan ahead and actually structure a story, with a beginning, middle and conclusive end. You also need to make sure you notify the readers and tell them within your writing what the story is about, and not make everything so jumbled up.
I encourage you to keep writing and maybe try your skills at writing something a little more challenging, maybe by first structering a clever story and keeping the characters in their normal personas.
Last of all, this is not a flame - far from it. It is a review of encouragement and at best a chance for you to reflect on what you've written. I'll definitely look out for more of you stuff and encourage you along the way.
Oh and don't mind all the nasty reviews people have left you for this fic, cause they're all a bunch of idiots who don't have anything better to do with their time than to insult others. :)
| bite me chapter 1 . 8/21/2004
| Luzr-Gurl13 chapter 1 . 8/20/2004
I think this was a great and confusing songfic at the same time. Well, I basically understood most of the scenrios, but why did Rika want to leave?
Anyways, this is your songfic, and I truly enjoyed it! Really, I did! And also, Maroon 5 rocks! I love their songs! So bye for now!
| DigiFreak103 chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
Yeah! You used "She Will Be Loved". Great song choice. Please excuse me for saying this, but the fic seemed to go around and around in circles jumping from one place to another, Ryo to Rika and vice versa. It was quite confusing, not to mention somewhat out of character. Could've given some background on what happened or something also.
I suggest when writing a songfic, write the actual fic first before adding the lyrics. That way, the fic won't feel as choppy as it did. Think of the lyrics as guidelines...eh, yeah. Try to elaborate more with the story rather than letting the lyrics tell it.
But as a whole, the fic is cute. Nice together-ness parts, indeed. Nice job for a first songfic, though...even after the comments I made. Sorry, if you think this review is evil... Keep up the writing.
| Leesie Love chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
good and all but it didn't make secne. were they in a fight? was something wrong with one of them?
| solitaireclay07 chapter 1 . 8/19/2004
Umm...I'm confused. That just confused me...o.O Umm...so...why was Rika all sad and hurt and everything all the time? Umm...other than that, I have to congratulate you on using this song. Which is weird cause I was listening to this song while I got on this page and saw this. Freaky. It pretty well written. Maybe a couple grammar mistakes, but that's about it. So, good job. I love Maroon 5. *hugs Maroon 5*