|Reviews for In Dreams|
| danielle chapter 2 . 4/21/2005
hey your story is going really great so far! keep up the good work! and reveiw soon. i just got finished the second chapter and i really can't wait for the next one!
| Noldo chapter 2 . 9/21/2004
I have to say that it isn't possible for Luthiel to have a 'silvery aura' - what would be the point? Even Elves don't glow.
Also, naming a horse 'Earendil' would be incredibly disrespectful to the real Earendil, (i.e. Venus), Elrond's father.
Her farewells seem a bit suspect, too - she seems to know far more than she should - after all, however brave/strong/wise she is, she's hardly another Galadriel.
Aragorn wouldn't say anything in 'Elven'. It'd be 'Sindarin' or 'Quenya' - Elven is an adjective, not a language.
She seems to have all Saruman's lines. Not that I'm complaining, mind...:D
'Lúthiel Aragóra'? What does that mean? Whether Numenorean or Elf, names have to have a meaning. Try a Sindarin site - the best is Ardalambion, at .no/People/hnohf
'Aniron' means Desire. Nobody names themselves after a verb, and least of all a verb like that one. 'Saura' has no discernible meaning.
'Follow me, half-Elven' - Half-elves don't grow on trees! The only Elf/Human couples were: Tuor/Idril (children: Earendil), Beren/Luthien (children: Dior), Earendil/Elwing (Elwing was descended from Dior), whose sons were Elrond and Elros. After them came Aragorn and Arwen.
Possibly there's one more: Imrazor the Numenorean in Gondor, and the Silvan Elf Mithrellas (Imrahil's ancestors), but they weren't high-fated like the others I mentioned.
Please note I'm not trying to be discouraging. I'm only trying to be constructive, as your grammar's quite good - you just need to work on the story a little.
Here's hoping to see more of you around,
Noldo (a.k.a the Obsessive Critic) :D
| Noldo chapter 1 . 9/21/2004
Ah, another person of Indian origin. *waves* Good to see you.
Well, I shall comment, I guess.
'"I bid you to stay," came the voice of Elrond. "While your presence was most certainly uncalled for, it pains me less to have yet another Dúnedain present at this Council. Tell me, Lúthiel, what have your eyes seen?"
"Dúnedain?" Boromir echoed. He faced the maiden. "You are a descendant of Nùmenòr?"
Well, you'd say 'Dunadan' for the singular male. For singular female, 'woman/lady of the Dunedain' is more appropriate.
Certainly she can't be the descendant of 'Numenor' - how odd it would be to have a country that had a descendant, if you get my drift. Say, rather, 'of Numenorean descent'.
Luthiel - an odd name. I think, personally, that it sounds too much like 'Luthien' for comfort - as if you're comparing your character with Luthien - readers don't enjoy this, in my experience.
'Lúthiel faced the remainder of the Council, her voice loud and compassionate. '
This makes little sense - why does she sound 'compassionate'? Did you mean 'passionate'?
Don't mean to be discouraging - it's just that I'm a bit of a nitpicker. Forgive me.
| InterstellarHobbit chapter 2 . 8/30/2004
O good chapter! I can't wait to read the rest!
| InterstellarHobbit chapter 1 . 8/30/2004
Wow, that was really good! And not just the parts from the movie, the added ones as well *goes to read next chapter*
| Angelic Elf chapter 2 . 8/28/2004
Another fantastic chapter, i'm now on the edge of my seat waiting for another. I'm glad that i helped your morale. Flames suck, like in a big way, but you really do have a talent here so keep up the excellent work.
| The Crystal Hand Alchemists chapter 2 . 8/26/2004
update soon please!
| Angelic Elf chapter 1 . 8/25/2004
This was far from crap. I REALLY liked your story. Please update soon. Its good to see a tenth walker story the way yours is develping, a rare occurence. its even better to have such a strong female character in the lead. Excellent work.
| unknown chapter 1 . 8/24/2004
Loved it! I can't wait to see more! Keep posting! I look forward to it!
| The Crystal Hand Alchemists chapter 1 . 8/24/2004
wow! i like the first chapter so far!
(even though i've seen similar fics, this one turned out really well!)
please update soon!