|Reviews for Kingdom Hearts: Chaos Angel|
| Eternal Longing chapter 2 . 6/15/2007
Grand applause and standing ovation for Episode 1!
First of all, there were quite a few grammatical/spelling mistakes that threw me off track, but most were pretty minor. I recommend going back and checking over the story if you ever have free time to spare, especially since you are finished with this story.
Second thing is, I like this Rob/Cygnus more than the Scheme? one. His personality seems more stable and much more susceptible to character development. Not like that's a bad thing of course.
The action scenes were crazily smooth. I could picture it in my mind and the darkness and devastation also was apparent. Still, my favorite part of it all was the explanations. True, without darkness there can be no light and vice-versa. They are relative to each other. So here I end my first official review.
| Eternal Longing chapter 1 . 6/15/2007
The prologue seems a bit short, but I guess it is to the point. So Ansem, I now start my 19 reviews of your story. Thank me later, hehe.
Still, Cygnus has a pretty generic (dare I say somewhat unoriginal) role in this fic. Ah well. I'm sure, judging by Scheme? and the beginning of Amnesia? you won't fail to surprise me... This fic is pretty old though, eh?
| Chaltab chapter 9 . 12/31/2005
I liked this one a bit better.
But the farther you go, the more characters there are to keep track of! It makes me want to cry!
| Chaltab chapter 8 . 12/24/2005
Jim Raynor and Samus Aran! AWESOME! Honestly, I liked that better than the Titans in here. Not that they felt out of character, but they seemed relegated to the back seat and rather bland in this chapter. I think it's just due to the fact you have SO MUCH happening and have SO MANY characters, it's hard to keep track of them all and hard to care.
And Maya like's mustard to? Smart girl! What I really want to see is more of Slade and his new apprentice. And more Jim! Granted considering that this story is finished, asking for that now is a bit pointless.
| Chaltab chapter 7 . 12/19/2005
And Hades getting cut in half! I like! Also, you used Bowser! That's so awesome. I take it that Brother Blood is lying to Ken Mira there about being a trainer for SUperheroes, otherwise this is definitely an elseworld.
And his apprentice? I take it this takes place in Season 2. Anyways, Nice chapter, thought still a bit disjointed. :( Next up is Keen Titans, right?
| Chaltab chapter 6 . 12/19/2005
Come one, Eggman! Help me out here! Explain things! Seriously. :(
I love the ideas presented here, and the use of so many universes and characters as part of the KH story line is cool, but some of the concepts and plot devices you're using seem to be pulled out of thin air. So if Guard Armor knocks Rob and Maya out, they appear in some sort of dream world where they can talk to their mother...
And Cloud Strife is there, and he's looking for Gainsborough? Who is the man who looks like demon, though? And... Er...
To be perfectly honest, it feels like you've taken the concept of 'show, don't tell' over-board and are afraid to tell anything. But sometimes you need to just lay it out or your readers will feel lost. I don't mean to be rude, just trying to help you understand that I DON'T understand.
I also fear that you've got too many characters to keep track of.
| Chaltab chapter 5 . 12/16/2005
Maybe it was just me, but this chapter seemed a bit confusing. Good fight scenes, though, and the cameo of all the Pokemon characters was good. I'm still waiting on the Titans, though!
| Chaltab chapter 4 . 12/15/2005
I really enjoyed this chapter. There was one rahter random slip from past tense into present, but otherwise a marked improvment over the first two. Good job.
I'd read more, but it's 3AM and I must have sleep.
| Chaltab chapter 3 . 12/12/2005
In a story like this, it would probably be best to have a few author's notes explaining things. I have no idea what variant of Sonic canon you're using, and I have no idea if Rob and Maya recognize him from playing the games or if they know him as a real person,...
Er. The OCs are from the Pokemon nation of Jhoto, correct? It is something I never quite understood about the first chapter either; who are these peopel and why I should care about them? Not that I don't, but it is a bit confusing.
The action scenes were well written, and you had a minimum of spelling errors, which is always a plus. The villain cameos were nice, but Black Mask is a bit obtuse. Until you mentioned the white gloves and boots I thought it was Vader. :P (Which would have been AWESOME, by the way)
Another thing that is rather confusing to me is how long this is set after the first game, who Darkside and Rob's mother are, and how noncorpreal entities can mate... I'm not trying to nag, but just stating my concerns. The idea is great, just confusing at the moment. It will probably get better as you reveal more, though.
| Chaltab chapter 2 . 12/3/2005
So far, nice job. I'm really looking forward to the Teen Titans section(s).
This first chapter was a bit confusing, partly because I have no idea who these characters are, and partly because I never finished off Ansem in Kingdom Hearts.
But the story is interesting and I'm definitely going to read more. Good job.
| Thera Dratara chapter 3 . 10/8/2005
Well, it's a nice fic, but I can't really get into it, but that's mainly because I have trouble reading action-scenes...
The first chapter made me think of Seiken Densetsu 3(which is good!), and your fic reminds me of a novelised game. (maybe in the feature, you might convert it to a more visual platform?)
And I found the characterisation of the Heartless great, aswell as their motives...
So to cut a long story short; your story is good, but not suited for someone who can't read action scenes in a book very well, I hope you might change it into a fangame or something...
| John7Chris chapter 17 . 8/7/2005
Wow. All that anime, all fighting against the Heartless...
Is there any way you're going to turn Yusuke and Kim Possible back to the good side? My favorite characters...evil! It's almost too much to bear! *sobs*
| Lady Papillon Rose chapter 3 . 7/25/2005
| Lady Papillon Rose chapter 2 . 7/25/2005
Late reviews.. _
Nice start. No spelling/grammatical errors, very original, like the plot set-up so far, and no, Rob's not a Marty Stu. He's quite cool, actually. Love Maya and Charlotte to death already. Off to Chapter 3.
| The Wallflower chapter 2 . 6/16/2005
This story needs more development of who these characters are. Just thrusting them into a high-caliber situation (one that we've already seen before) doesn't let me identify with what they're going through and just makes the thing boring to read. With five or so characters in the opening scene, you need at least two or three chapters dedicated to finding out who they are.