|Reviews for For Your Dream|
| Harry Nutter chapter 15 . 9/15
Ok, this is the first time I'll ever leave a negative review for a fanfiction story.
Let's first discuss the good things about the story.
You rarely make spelling and grammar mistakes, and your sentences flow nicely. So, congrats, you have found a good beta or you know how to use a grammar- and spellchecker.
Secondly, the premise for your story is interesting, I'd love to see a better execution of it.
Now, onto the bad parts. Tha major issue is that the way the characters act and make decisions are uncharacteristic. This is not a parody or crackfic. It doesn't even have the humor tag. It should not require suspension of disbelief. The characters act so OOC without a good reason to. I'm certainly not saying you should stick to the characterization in canon because otherwise, I'd be reading the stories, not fanfiction. But I am a firm believer that stuff should have a good underlying reason to happen, especially when deviating hugely.
Let me give you a few examples.
Harry killing his relatives. Why did he snap? What happened? This would be a very interesting moment to describe since it's a defining moment. And what was Zabuza doing in England? Why was he there? What happened that he should just trust Zabuza and decide to be his tool? A victim who suffers from abuse is often wary of people's intentions.
Why should Dumbledore let Zabuza stay in Hogwarts at all? Likely, the reason is that Harry wouldn't stay if Zabuza didn't, but a scene where that was discussed would be nice to tie things together. Dumbledore's aversion to killing should have made his protest and potentially make him gain concessions to allow Zabuza to stay around. Why is there no outlash from parents that Dumbledore allows an obviously dangerous man to roam Hogwarts while he's not even teaching them or something? Children would definitely write home about that, it being out of the ordinary.
Why were Harry and Zabuza not more wary of the dog? That makes no sense. They're nukenin. On the run from people, constantly needing to be suspicious of everything.
Why did Sirius change back to human form where Lupin could see him? For that matter, why did he change back in the middle of the night in the same room as Zabuza and Haku?
What's up with the mirrors that allow Haku to see Gaara and Naruto? Where did that come from? How would it allow them to see Gaara since they never interacted with him at all, as far as I can see?
Why would Zabuza and Haku decide to train Hermione? For that matter, why should Hermione decide to trust strangers with something that gives her an edge over others? The first could be explained away with her being the second magic user that can use or at least sense chakra that they've come across.
Why would a human be in a summon contract? Why would the inuzuka be able to summon dogs? They have dog partners, not dog summons. Dog summons is the Hatake niche.
Why would the hokage tell 5 people not even from kohona, of which 2 had less than completely positive interaction with Kohona nin that the village didn't have a lot of resources at the moment? That seems like a super stupid thing to be admitting to people who you aren't even sure are allies.
These were just a few examples that really annoyed me. You could do a lot better. Try to flesh out your ideas more before posting them.
| Yona0 chapter 5 . 5/23
Come now, his loyalty was an obvious give away.
| lifelovelaugh chapter 5 . 12/29/2016
Hufflepuff is so underappreciated i think its awesome 3
| bassoongirl14 chapter 33 . 10/4/2016
I really love this story so far! omg!
| CherryColaMyst chapter 5 . 4/2/2016
Ok, I know it has been a long time since you posted this chapter, but can I say, I don't understand how people didn't figure out why Haku was put into Hufflepuff? I mean SERIOUSLY, Haku is really loyal to Zabuza, enough to DIE for him, and Hufflepuff is known for having very loyal people!
| ZabuzasGirl chapter 1 . 8/24/2015
Update immediately, please! Update immediately, please!
| WRose chapter 33 . 5/7/2015
i really hope hermoine somehow gets her NORMAL eyes back or one with the sharingan but definitly that she lost the caged bird seal pr it will be removed
| Guest chapter 33 . 3/16/2015
You...found your old muse? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Go you! *waves pom poms and feeds the muse*
| BlackShadow1 chapter 33 . 3/12/2015
it was great. im glad you managed to update, i love this story
| OoOXylionOoO chapter 3 . 3/9/2015
This fanfiction is really interesting, keep up the good work.
| OoOXylionOoO chapter 1 . 3/9/2015
Interesting first chapter.
| Kairan1979 chapter 33 . 3/7/2015
Thanks for the update.
Looking forward how Haku is going to deal with Hyuuga in his current state.
| Kairan1979 chapter 29 . 3/7/2015
I have a feeling that Haku is going make new mistake by messing up with Sakura's cursed seal. Shouldn't he learn something from Hermione' disaster?
| AzazelLuciferDeathCrowley chapter 24 . 2/26/2015
| RisingDaemon chapter 2 . 2/15/2015
it needs to be fixed
Zabuza-san not zabuzasan
pardon my OCD