|Reviews for Sacrifice|
| michael.mcquarrie1 chapter 13 . 8/8/2014
Enjoyed. The story immensely very well written.
| BoutsofInsanity42 chapter 13 . 2/22/2013
K so this review is to help you be a better author. I am not flaming, I am only attempting to give you my opinion on what went right and wrong.
1. Good Premise, evil bad guy needs stopping from a ritual, tormenting the X-Men.
2. Bad Villain. Marvel is huge, pull from their roster. Azezel would have worked, and he is Kurt's father. Dr. Sinister. Any evil magic user anywhere would have worked.
3. You deus ex machina'd the ending. The X men didn't do anything to stop the villain. The villain, the OC who we don't have investment in, saved the day. We needed the X-Men to save the day, they are the main characters, not the teacher.
4. The villain was to powerful, (Marvel has a problem with this as well, too many powerful enemies). Xavier can't fight him, Jean can't fight him. There was no reason for the Bad Guy to lose in this instance.
5. The effects of torture were not apparent. Take time next time to describe each person's dream as it plays on their fears and pain.
6. The ending was too quick, we need to see the after effects of hell on them.
Things you did well.
1. Again the premise was good.
2. The pacing wasn't too bad. It didnt take forever to get to the climax
3. It had an ending (Glare's at all unfinished long fics in favorite's list).
Over all I enjoyed the story, and wish to see more of what you got. Good Luck.
| ALLREMS chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
who said advertisemnt doesnt work?
well let mme tell you I was reading this story (that which we shall not name) and the author raved on how amazing this fic was... and so here I am...
Interesting start - very mysterious.
| raewyn chapter 10 . 8/1/2007
Before you begin reading this (assuming you even will, seeing as I seem to be a few years off) please don't be offended. Your story's one of the better ones I've seen on this site, and that's more or less the only reason why I'm reviewing it. Be warned: I'm going to be very harsh. Please don't be discouraged, this is me at my worst.
Well...it's epic enough, I'll give you that. The language doesn't leave much room for criticism, a great thing, considering the other fics I've just browsed through. *shudders*
As for your allusions, they're symbolic, yes. Perhaps too much so though. They're obvious to just the right extent, but you might want to bear in mind as well that sometimes it might overkill to bring in things like, say, the number of the beast. Symbolism also has to be subtle, forcing it in might have it lose its desired effect, or even make reading painful.
The same goes for your little resurrections. One's more than enough for one story, and if you absolutely must, at least space it out across more than one character. I'm a fan of Scott, but even this stretches it a little. You don't want Jott to come across as too one-sided a relationship, I think we've all got enough of that with the Phoenix (and Maddie, and Dark Phoenix... )
You might also want to lay off the nightmare descriptions. It gets extremely repetitive after a while, what with fire, and pain and he's commings. It's not bad, but it'd be a good idea if you could use different expressions.
Your effort to make the others more than just stand-ins is commendable. Do keep it up!
The whole two-sided personality concept could be viewed as either unoriginal, or keeping the faith of the classic story of humanity and battles.
The thing about centuries-old lurker borders on the unbelievable. Playing it down a bit, or giving it more credibility might bring it on par with the entire Apocalypse saga. It won't help with the association though, even without even hinting at that, your story's more or less going to be judged with some idea of Apocalypse (and perhaps the Twelve?) in mind. That, I daresay, is the main conceptual flaw in the story. Make it believable.
That's about all I can say for now. You're good at this. Just watch the loose ends and you'll be fine.
| Kyria chapter 13 . 8/7/2006
Hey I've read a few of Slickboy's stories and that's how i was reffered to this story I searched high and low on the internet to find this storie and now that i have found your story I'd like to say that your story was great and i loved reading it...even if you kept leaving me with cliffhangers!
| unon chapter 13 . 4/1/2005
I just sat down and read the whole thing.
A very, very good job.
I love how you brought all the primary evo characters into the story, and kept each of their behaviour true to their portrayal in the cartoon. Of course, I loved the Jott element as well. ;)
| whylime chapter 4 . 3/26/2005
Just when my x-evo withdrawl was reaching fatal levels I found your story and it brought me back... enough with the melodramatic, you have a very powerful writting style; and so DARK. I wish the show had the opportunity to do a dark tone like this.
| DScript chapter 13 . 3/15/2005
One word. Genius. Pure GENIUS, I tell you. Man, I was so caught up in that story I read for like an hour straight. This was a really great and originial, descriptive idea.
| jenskott chapter 13 . 1/10/2005
I've already read your story. It's really good! You have a knack to write scenes full dark and oppressive, full with suspense and mistery. And the writing was very good! Especially in the descriptions of scenaries.
And the moments where Jean brings back Scott were very touching. I liked a lot she was the only capable of realizing what he was alive the first time.
| Diaz F chapter 13 . 12/6/2004
Sorry for the late review! The ending was marvelous! That was so sweet! And as for Scott and Jean's love, that was just AMAZING! I wonder if such thing could happend in the real world...
Mr. Flemmings... he should just die! And WOW! I wasn't expecting the twist! That was so unpredictable! Abaddon has got these 2 personalities in him!
I don't know what else to say about your fic. This is truly a wonderful story! Please keep writing such awesome story!
| sweet-destiny3 chapter 12 . 11/30/2004
the sweet love of the most greatest couple in history. your killing me! Just when I thought Scott was the sixth sacrifice it ends up being Kurt. what a great technique to put people on edge (and I mean literally).
wow i tell ya...
| sweet-destiny3 chapter 11 . 11/30/2004
completely fantastic (causing goose bumps to form all over my skin). ABADDON HAS THEM NOW! NO!
| Mark C chapter 13 . 11/29/2004
That was an awesome ending. Thanks to Abaddon's split personality the X-Men were able to free themselves and get out. At least Mr. Gehenna was able to take control for a while and was able to help the X-Men. The most amazing thing was that Scott and Jean's love for each other was what really saved the day. I think everyone was surprised that was what saved them and what closed the hell hole.
| slickboy444 chapter 13 . 11/28/2004
Ah such a sweet ending. I know I've spent so much time praising this fic, but I honestly think I have run out of words to describe it. Amazing, fantastic, a masterpiece, truly great, everybody should read it, what else more can I say? The sun has set and the end has finally come and I could think of no sweeter ending! Great job my friend! You are truly a master of fanfiction! This story had everything! This is now the fic by which all others shall be judged! I shall strive to make my fics at least half as good as yours now and I thank you for doing such wonderful work in bringing us this remarkable story! You rock my friend! I love this fic! I can't wait to see what you do next! Once again this is Slickboy saying, peace out!
| slickboy444 chapter 12 . 11/28/2004
Holy...There's just...I don't know how to describe what I have just read! It was the BEST of the whole story! And that's saying a lot! It was amazing...Fantastic...Everything! The sweet love between Scott and Jean was just too much for me to handle! I had actually thought you had killed him! But again, you still surprise me! HOW? How can you manage to do such great things with your writing! I am truly at a loss for words here! Abbadon being slain by Mr. Gennesha was a perfect way to end it! Having Scott and Jean's love being the thing that sealed the cave was just too sweet to describe with words! You have done it my friend! You have created by far the greatest story here on the website...HANDS DOWN! I could never hope to write something like this! This is truly amazing! I don't know what else I can say to truly express how great I feel this story is. I could so see it happening in Evo and I you brought out the best of the best here! I wish I could praise you and this story with every word possible! But no words truly do justice! I mean every last thing I say when I tell you how great this story is! And this is truly a masterpiece! Be proud my friend! It is a work of true greatness! Slickboy out!