Reviews for Date or Disaster?
Hikari chapter 4 . 1/3/2007
The way you write in first person is a little weird. I don't mean to be rude.

It ended okay. I'm sure you can be a good author, if you find a beta-reader...

There was also this part I didn't like:

“Thanks, Sammy. I’m one of those gentle and caring kind of guys. Just tell me when to stop,” I said.

x

Why are you complimenting yourself like that? o.0
Hikari chapter 3 . 1/3/2007
“I picked you because you looked like the most beautiful of the three, and I have a cousin back home with the same first name as you, and you know that, but I honestly picked you because you looked like the calmest of the 3, other than Alex, and that’s one thing that I like about you,” I said in real confidence.

“Oh, okay. That’s a fair reason.” Sam said.

x

WHAT?

That's a run-on sentence. Did you not learn about those in fourth grade? And Mathew is only in highschool. I doubt he would have enough money to buy a ring. And if he earned money for it, then how would he have known Sam would ask him out?

You made Mathew sound pompous, saying things like, "That's the the kind of guy I am." It's ridiculous.

I suggest you get some help. Professional help.
cold heart chapter 1 . 7/13/2006
whatever flames
AeonFrodo chapter 4 . 2/11/2006
A lovely fic.
PinkLemonade chapter 3 . 2/9/2006
Whoa. Whoa, whoa! First: I feel like I should flame you RIGHT now, but seriously, I'll just TRY to act polite and understanding...

What the hell did you DO to Sam and everyone else! Why were you speechless when Sam asked you out? Just say yes or no. What's the big idea? Why did Sam strip? That's so weird. It's like, Hey I gonnagoand strip all the way upstairs until I get to my room and change into my bathing suit. WHOOP-PE!'Why is she always in her bathing suit? Why does she keep her bathing suits all at her FRIENDS' houses?

Why if Mathew doesn't go out on a date with her, she will be an unhappy girl? And Mathew asks Clover and Alex if he should date Sam. That's another one of the mistakes u did. He, should be certain and confident about the whole thing, and if Sam asks him out, he should have his answer soon.

So WHY is he so speechless?

The most dimmest part was when Mathew told Sam why he liked her. "I picked u becuz you looked like the most beautiful of the three, and I have a cousin back home with the same first name as you, and you know that, but I honestly picked you becuz you looked like the calmest of the 3, other that Alex, and thats one thing I like about you." How confusing... That sounded SO stupid, and shallow. HE LIKES SAM BECUZ HE HAS A CUZIN WHO HAS THE FIRST NAME AS HER? And what r u saying, that Alex and Sam are calm? Wat if Sam wasnt calm? Dont make yourself sound so shallow. He picked her becuz she was the most beautiful. HOW DEMEANING.

You disgust me. Just stop writing these gross fanfics, and you'll be fine.

-PinkLemonade
Chicogurl11 chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
Eh...

The massaging part was a little weird. It made me feel like I was reading something like,I said,"Oh sam dah-ling, may I mah-sauge you, dah-ling." "Why certainly, dah-ling, you are so handsome when you ask questions."

Why does Clover call in the middle of thier date? That would have bothered me if I was Sam.

Chicogurl11
Chicogurl11 chapter 3 . 1/27/2006
Um, in the last chapter why did Sam strip? you didn't need to describe what she first tookoff and next, duh duh duh but why does Sam keep bathing suits at her friends houses? Thats a lil freaky. You sound pretty obsessed with Sam 2. Some bathing suit that is. Why did Mathew ask Sam what she wanted him to wear? It is obvious thats a sign that he wants to plz her, but he should wear his own things and make his own decisions.

Chicogurl11
Chicogurl11 chapter 2 . 1/27/2006
u are obsessed with sam
Chicogurl11 chapter 1 . 1/27/2006
I read this story because the title was quite catchy. When I read the part, "Clover and Alex started looking for a good-looking boy," I thought, "You should change it to,"Clover and Alex started looking around for a cute boy." You don't have to add the description for the girls outfits, becuz thats sort of unessecary.

Chicogurl11
Deathblade Prime chapter 4 . 9/22/2005
This is very good, self-insurging fic. To be honest, out of the three girls I like Sam the best to. Because Clover reminds me too much of Irvine from Final Fantasy 8, and Alex, I have no problem with her.
iHEARTme chapter 4 . 8/10/2005
You really need to learn how to write stories..And if you're going to insist on writing romantic stories, umm...DON'T! Because you can't. Really, they suck. Badly.

"She had an extra green bathing suit that she kept at Clover’s house, Alex’s house, and my house in one of our drawers" That's so awesome! That one green bathing suit was in ALL THREE houses? Wow. That's one heck of a bathing suit.

“I picked you because you looked like the most beautiful of the three, and I have a cousin back home with the same first name as you, and you know that, but I honestly picked you because you looked like the calmest of the 3, other than Alex, and that’s one thing that I like about you,” Okay that is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard..Well, read. But honestly, that's supposed to be a compliment? And you honestly would date someone because they had the same name as your cousin? Ohmigod...

And what the heck was with the bathing suit and bathrobe at the end? Sam puts it on so that Mathew can ask her why it's there and she can take it off...Oh yes, so logical. You know, it just makes perfect sense...NOT! And then the bathing suit...Okay, let me explain something to you- Bathing suits are for when you're going in the pool...Or going to the beach...Or even having a water balloon fight...But to get a massage from your pathetic freak of a boyfriend? No, don't think that's the use they were intended for.

And wait...You seem, like, obsessed with Sam...And then she asks your character out and you don't know what to say? How stupid can you be? And what the heck is wrong with her for waiting the whole time? It's kinda stupid. But then again, this entire story is kinda stupid. And pointless. And horrible. And painful to read.

And then there's all the problems with how the story is written. I'm going to tell you something about writing in the 1st person: you only know what is going on from that person's point of view. So if your character isn't with Sam, he wouldn't know what Sam was doing at the time, or what is going through Sam's or any of the other character's minds. So maybe you can take out all of that horribly written stupid stuff, especially the part where Sam gets to the house before everyone. -I'm home alone in my friend's house...Oh, I know what I'll do! I'm going to strip as I make my way upstairs to where my bathing suit is! Woohoo! So much fun, right?- And you really need to start proof-reading your so-called-stories, because they're EXTREMELY confusing...

Please, NEVER WRITE AGAIN YOU THUNDERING MORON! I'M BEGGING YOU! Thank you, and have a nice day.
tamagotchi chapter 4 . 7/31/2005
three words: YOu are obsessed
godricshollow chapter 2 . 7/21/2005
soo, you absoloutly worship sam and are obsessed with her and practically in love with that red-headed cartoon called sam. wow! you really suprise me. there is a boy in my class called mathew, & i don't really like him. my best friend is called sam, so it's sum & sam!
Crystalicios chapter 4 . 2/3/2005
Don't take me wrong or anything, but I think you should put some, more scenes in it, ya know? it was pretty good especially the massage part
The Time Traveler chapter 4 . 2/3/2005
Well, I have been meaning to review this fanfic for quite some time.

I like how well you made the descriptions and such. As for how you and Sam spent your quality time, I personally like it! Don't change a thing in this story, it's good!

P.S. Thanks for reviewing!
24 | Page 1 2 Next »