|Reviews for Candide|
| lovelymokona chapter 3 . 4/22/2012
*signs* That's why I don't want to read promising, yet at the same time, forgotten stories. I'm not going to ask if you will ever continue this story or not but wonder if you are alright (well, alive) instead.
It's been 8 years, almost a decade you know? Now wake up you lazy bones and finish what you started. XD (Sorry for the hard words but couldn't you just... end this longingness of your FAITHFUL readers by any responds/ answers, or better yet - an update? Onegai?)
| celtictrinityknot chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
No more ever I guess
| The Black Flame Phoenix chapter 3 . 5/2/2008
Please update soon this is so cool. I really can't wait to read more though it is a little sad how Sesshoumaru still hates Inuyasha even in death though I guess it can't be helped he did kill Sesshoumaru after all but still.
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 3/3/2007
Sesshoumaru blocked Tetsusaiga's incoming blade with Tokijinn,
[Spelling: Toukijin, or Tokijin if you want to use a clipped yet acceptable form of Romanization.]
then jumped back and with a derisive snort re-sheathed Tokijinn.
[Spelling: Tokijin. Just one “n”.]
Thus far, Sesshoumaru was winning.
[Aside from their first battle involving Tetsusaiga, I can’t think of an instance where Sesshoumaru ever didn’t have the upper hand. Even throughout the fight when Sesshoumaru taught Inuyasha how to use the Wind Scar, he seemed to have full control up until the moment that the Wind Scar actually hit him.]
As it is, they're almost perfectly matched, and they're very aware of it."
[I don’t think that’s true at all, but it would seem true to canon that neither truly tries to kill the other.]
"You're not worthy of Chichiue's sword, hanyou."
[Is there any particular reason why the dialogue was interrupted with Japanese instead of just using ‘father’, the English with which would have kept the narrative going with absolutely nothing lost in translation?]
Inuyasha smirked and swung the fang over his head to send it crashing down upon Tokijin once more.
[Last stated, Tokijin was sheathed and Sesshoumaru was using his mana whip.]
Sparks flew and the ground became to cave beneath their feet.
Even when they have a common enemy, they fight over who gets to kill him!"
[How very true. Even when both were up against Moryoumaru, up until he insulted Kagura, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were bickering over who got to fight him. Yes, I know this story is before any of those events with Moryoumaru due to the appearance of Kagura, but the relation between the brothers remains the same.]
"That's just Inuyasha being an overbearing idiot because he's afraid of looking wimpy,"
[An interesting way of opening the story’s exposition, and I think that is perfectly in line with canon.]
And Kouga'snot his brother."
[Missing space between “Kouga’s” and “not”.]
"Well, I know how Inuyasha is," Sango said, "but what kind of person could really want their own little brother dead?"
[I think that she questioned Sesshoumaru’s actions until he knocked Inuyasha unconscious after the hanyou was driven full youkai by the moth youkai, when Sesshoumaru helped out Inuyasha’s friends by knocking the transformed hanyou unconscious before he could hurt any of them.]
A gust of demonic wind threw Inuyasha across the clearing,
[Despite rereading that several times, I don’t understand the ‘demonic’ adjective to ‘wind’. Strong or unnatural, but unless it’s tied to youki, I don’t see any correlation.]
Miroku yelled her name and threw half a dozen ofuda at Inuyasha, but they were brushed off with barely a glance.
[In the rare instances when someone other than Kagome’s grandfather used ofuda against Inuyasha (even Shippo), they worked. Despite the enhancing power of the tainted Shikon shards, I don’t think that he’d be able to just ‘brush off’ the spiritually charged paper weapons.]
Tokijinn hissed through the space Inuyasha had occupied a moment before.
[Spelling: Toukijin. Or Tokijin if you’re lazy, but my understanding of the Hurigana would transliterate to ‘toukijin’.]
This time Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's positions were reversed, and Sesshoumaru wielded a heavy sword to fend off a more agile attacker.
[Comparatively, I suppose so, I just noted that throughout Toukijin’s history, it never appeared the least bit heavy to Sesshoumaru.]
Still, the idea of tiring Inuyasha out with his youkai blood in control of his body and a handful of shikon shards to fuel him was laughable.
[I think he would be fully capable of doing so.]
Sango and the rest watched with horror as Inuyasha calmly walked over to Sesshoumaru and with sudden violence picked him up by the shoulder with one hand and stabbed him through the heart with the other. There was a very brief impression of a barrier breaking, but nobody noticed.
[The first time I read this chapter I thought it implausible the manner that Tenseiga failed, but this looks more intense and feels more believable.]
"These are the guidelines for your research project on eighteenth century Japanese literature and how it influencedor reflected on the political situation at the time.
[Missing space between “influenced” and “or”.]
and it would be better to just let somethingstupid like that blow over.
[Missing space between “something” and “stupid”.]
Besides, it's all translated from Japanese characters anyway, so how it's romanized is pretty much random.
[Though the spelling in roman letters can vary, it’s not true that Romanization is random. I personally side with the school of thought that says it should precisely match the kana.]
All in all it was a well-done chapter, the polish from your rewrite shows through quite well and what were wide cracks before no longer exist. There's still a few minor quibbles I have with Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru fighting, but the canon doesn't explicitly say that they _don't_ meet up every month or so to test each other, and the loathing between the siblings has been toned down to much more In-Character levels that don't jibe against canon anymore. Aside from that, you've got what appears a wholly original and well-done story, and I'm eager to see the rest of it. If you have time, I'd love to hear your feedback on any of my stories.
God bless and happy writing,
| Nozomi-dono chapter 3 . 8/25/2006
oh i was so not expexting that oh thats so tight again this is a well writtin chapter keep going great job
| Nozomi-dono chapter 2 . 8/25/2006
love this chapter too sessy dead scence was just words cant describe poor inu he was so down i like how u made it so believable and therye not oc( i think that means personality is different) anyway kagome skool scence last chap was hahah thats what she gets
| Nozomi-dono chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
ah sessy's dead but i really liked that it was writing well and i think that converstion was tight i like your form of writing it may be long but its tight
ur right it is best
| kitsuneasika chapter 3 . 7/4/2006
Her are my reactions:
NO! Sesshomaru's dead!
| NeoMiniTails chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
Ah! I have just finished reading your first chapter. I'm usually someone who points out the wrong and or spelling mistakes and then to the good stuff... aye! Long reviews... I give them. Don't worry... i don't go looking for mistakes or anything. I try not to pry on eveyr mistakes except if I saw one mistake a few times and spelling errors. I just go right on inot the compliments which I give plenty of those when i love a fic.
He never said anything, but once in a while he'd glance at his cursed hand as Kagome started to leave, and there would just be this look in his eyes, and what could anyone expect him to feel about Kagome's back-and-forth trips anyway?
that was a run-on which you could fix, it won't be too hard to fix since there are many ways to phrase this sentence such as maybe evn using the complex-compund sentence structure if you don't feel like making this inot a whole bunch of smaller sentence or inot sentences.
the one more mistake that I'll point out:
Everyone save for Inuyasha, whose preferred farewell was to shout obscenities from the safety of his tree.
save should except
Anyways, now to the good stuff... don't feel like going through and finding eveyr sentenbce mistke though i would point out if you rae using a unctuation wrong all the time just so it doesn't get done agin but sentence mistakes al the time with ervy writer even the best of them.
Anyways, i loved the first chapter! I'm going to read the rest some other time. I'm working on Spanish homework! LOl :) need to put important stuff doen first.
I liked the little conversation going on in the beginning of this chapter about Inu and sesshy's fighting. The more I thought about each of thier arguments... it made sense. Very original way to start off your story... LOL... sibling rivalry.
The story put me on a ride of suspense... and i love suspense... it keeps a story going as long as it don't confuse anyone. You had me when kagura threw the jewel shards into Inuyasha after his sword was disarmed from him... though, i do think that Sesshy would be more careful about not disarminbg him his sword since he was teh first to figure out that the sword kept Inu from his becoming like that otehr form...
Anywhizzles, that was a great way to do that part... and the jewel shards being in Inu made it understandable to how he killed Sesshomaru.
You scared me with him attacking Sango... i was like 'no, he/she can't kill Sango... I love her,'
good thing that she had the sword in her hand... poor Fluffers die though.
Even greater was the Kagome part with the girl that she knew from when she was younger but hadn't talked to her in a veyr long time.
Hmm... those people that your Oc mentioned all ahve the same last names as the pople on Sailor mOon... is that coincidence. LOL... I love it!
I also like how being around Inuyasha affected kagome.
Awesome... your ending was great! Continue and prosper.
Until next time,
| youkai chick supreme chapter 3 . 1/26/2006
MORE! um i mean more please. wow... inuyasha killed sesshy. nice concept. very original, especially the part about wanting him to come back to life. nice fic. please update soon... ja ne.
| Yokura chapter 3 . 12/15/2005
Please update really soon! there aren't many stories with brotherly love between inuyasha and sesshoumaru.
| locainlove chapter 3 . 7/10/2005
| Shivawn chapter 3 . 2/2/2005
I have a question...Is this going to be InuSess pairing? In the later chapters? And I really love this story! Even though you and the other person have different writing styles, you really work things into eachother, making the story very unique.
Update soon please! Good story!
| Anubis-Shinigami chapter 3 . 12/19/2004
Grness! Is that all? This Anubis-Shinigami asks you to continue! And why is it so damn hard for Inuyasha and Sesshie to just say that they do care at least a little for each other? Anyway, UPDATE!
| Anubis-Shinigami chapter 2 . 12/19/2004
Cool! Sesshy in Hell! Poor stupid Sesshoumaru! Please make him realize that being such and arrogant ass will get him nowhere! _ Anyway, good chapter!