Reviews for Deus Ex: The Conspiracy
Simon Aridan chapter 48 . 9/8/2015
You know, I'm re-reading this years later, and I must say, I judged wrong the first time around. Though I still feel that the romance between JC and Vixen was somewhat crowbared into the story, and though JC is a tad bit too emotional for my taste, I can't blame you for putting some personality on what is largely a blank slate. This is a darn fine example of adaptive storytelling and writing. Great stuff, man!
Zireael07 chapter 4 . 2/1/2013
It's 'troops', 'opressors' and 'privates'. Also, the chapter is a little long.
THREEINFINITY chapter 2 . 8/4/2012
sh*t... made a silly mistake on my previous review:
"Thankfully... 'still hope'... ***wasn't*** as 'conclusive' as I dreaded"

there fixed
THREEVICTORIOUS chapter 48 . 8/4/2012
Whew finally finished reading this (I'm surprised I didn't read this earlier... shoulda been a CLASSIC for DX freaks like me... regardless of it being a fanfic... it's an EPIC NOVELIZATION IMO)

This review will have 2 parts: This first part is NOT spoiler ridden... Spoiler warning will be issued when I come to that section

PART 1 (SPOILER-less review):

Cons first (not many): namely spelling, punctuation and grammar... but as time went by, you've greatly improved (I see the story was written over 2 years... yikes. I can imagine the agony to the people who immensely enjoyed, LOVED this story (like me!) who had to wait. Thankfully, I came across this 2 days ago and finished it like a marathon. Anyways, with an awesome plot like this, it totally makes up for the spelling and grammar issues (heck writers have editors for that matter anyway)...

Pros: OMG! EPIC! Maybe I'm biased since I LOVE DX (the original 1st game, my all-time fave) but this would be the best game-to-(fanfic)novel adaptation I've ever... in fact, I actually "SAW" this whole story, as I read along, in an epic graphic-novel/anime form... an 'interactive' anime game where I LIVED/played through every moment of it like it was all so real. A 48-episode anime... perfect! (Probably something along the lines of Madhouse or I.G. Productions)

The plot... IMO... the best part! (Compensates for any flaws there may be in the story, i.e. spelling/grammar any time) Of course... yes, we realize the plot was heavily based on the original DX plot (which is one hell of a kickass GOTY-material plot)... but still the entire "novelization" process - plus the extra 'bonus' elements thrown in, incorporating the canon as well as the non-canonic plots/characters - just marvelously brilliant! LOVED IT!

I can't remember the last time I was so pumped up about a novel, let alone an online fanfic, and finished an entire book in 2 days! (Yes, I consider this a book already :))) The end of each chapter made me want to keep going, "Godammit I NEED to know what happens next!" *click*scroll*click*scroll*

I've had moments I actually SCREAMED like a fangirl (haven't done that in 15 years - I'm almost 30 btw LOL) when it came to a LOT of epic events in the story - the action, the characters, the dxmachina-like-yet-oh-so-believable twists, the fights, the emotion, the surprises, the deaths, the victories, the climactic moments (there were so many! every 'episode' had at least 2!)... WOOT!

The CHARACTERS... OhmaiGOD the characters! 3 JC! You perfectly balanced his badass-ness with the pacifist/humanist aspects, the conflicting side this one amazing protagonist had... and despite putting in all the 'human' elements, he totally did not deviate out of character from the game at all IMO. Side note: Unlike those Final Fantasy games with their pretty boy characters, I never had a 'crush' on DX characters (apart for Walton Simons maybe) - I loved JC the player character, but just as a player character only, nothing more (probably the bland voice acting) - until THIS 'anime'-story-fanfic thingy got me looking at JC in a 'fangirl' sorta way (yeah I know, it's lame, the whole having a crush on fantasy/game characers LOL) 3 3 3 - he seems all the more REAL and HUMAN... and oh so lovable here! And still staying true to his game character personality...

Ohhh that "Icarus has found you" moment in the Paris office room, and JC's reactions - ORGASMIC!

Walton Simons... OhhhhmaiGODDDD 3 ...I found his game character, his voice acting especially, and personality absolutely deliciously sexy (yeah I tend to fall for the cold detached sociopath villain types)... and NOW, this story... this story just gives me ALL THAT I EVER WANTED of Simons AND SO MUCH MORE! I loved him to the very end! Ruthless, calculated, bored, sociopath, powerful, believably true to the game personality a deeper look into the world of Walton Simons deeeeeelicious

The "smile" issues with the nano-augs... brilliant! Heartwarming! Awesome! The moments that made JC smile... awwwwww.
The moments that made Simons smile... OHHHHHHHH WOWWWWWW *orgasmic again*

The introduction of canonic characters not expanded in the game - Sandra, Decker and the gang, Miguel (YAY MIGUEL!) etc LOVED them all!

The introduction of new/non-canonic characters, especially V - I never really liked non-canonic MAry Sues in fancifcs, but surprisingly I LOVED V! Perfectly believable, incorporable into the actual story (in case DX makes a reboot/anime one of these days - I only WISH!), and loveable as well!

I only wish you'd carry on with your plan to expand your DX-universe stories (like what you mentioned in the epilogue) instead of scrap it. I would LOVE to read more DX stuff from you...

-Part 2: spoiler-laden-
Those who haven't yet read, please ignore this part...

OMG... the ending... WHY?... why the Shakespearean-(almost)-Romeo-&-Juliet ending? Oh well, can't say I actually hate the ending as much as I actually liked it. After all, you can't expect perfect fairy tale endings from kickass DX stories, that's what makes DX so kickass :D
Thankfully, 'there's still hope', the ending was as 'conclusive' as I dreaded :)))
Always better to have some 'hope' lying around instead of totally cutting it all off.
Wanted to see more of Paul and the who brotherly thing with JC, but V took up more of his time... not too happy about that. But hey, here's where spin-off opportunities arise - so-called in-between events or 'filler' stories eh? Too bad you've given up writing fanfic. I find your DX universe an awesome escapade!
MIGUEL! WHY?! *sob*sob*
Walton vs JC epic showdown - YOU ARE A GOD, METROID13!

LOL this review's long enough already, I can't write about how I loved EVERY single fight, action sequence, from NY to HK to Oceanlab to A51 and everything in between... all the epic showdowns... 3 3 3

It's stories/'novelizations' like these that makes readers like me keep wanting more :)
Awesome job, Metroid13! Deus bless ya!
JCD chapter 1 . 6/13/2011

The FIRST paragraph has more than a half-dozen spelling/punctuation/grammar errors?


Please please, spell-check and grammar-check are your friends, run it through and fix it up, hmm?

First impression is a lasting impression. So much for being such a highly rated story that nobody mentioned this before.
Terminator chapter 23 . 2/28/2011
Excellent job! A must read. Will read on.
JC Denton chapter 48 . 12/27/2010
What a shame...
4master chapter 9 . 12/16/2010
Damm, that was one heck of a shot.
4master chapter 6 . 12/16/2010
Changed the storyline somehow. Dont worry, it is better ethatn the original. Good chap!
4master chapter 5 . 12/16/2010
Good character intro, liked it. Good going, should consider adding more descriptive info...
4master chapter 3 . 12/16/2010
This is good going. You balanced out the plot nicely.
4master chapter 1 . 12/16/2010
Hmmm, anna getting apprecitive looks? I wonder which physco would do that... LOL
Dhalphir chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Overall I really enjoyed this novel. It captured the story of Deus Ex very well and didn't get bogged down in the details.

However, my major criticism, and something I can't overlook, is the absolutely shocking grammar.

Constant misuse of they're/there/their, and you're/your completely broke the immersion in the story for me. A simple run through a grammar/spell-check would have picked most of this up, yet no attempt was made. Very disappointing.
Xab chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
very nicely written and follows the game, just the dialogue and stuff was formatted kind of strange otherwise perfect.
The Director 999 chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant. You, sir, are a genious among men.
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