Reviews for Pirates of the Caribbean Fanfic Chain
jessica chapter 3 . 4/14/2005
I really really like this story. I would love it if i could recieve an email when there is more of this story.

jessica
Eviefan chapter 3 . 2/3/2005
A good intruduction for Will and Elizabheth. It sounds like his life hasn't gotten any easier. I like the detail in this part too, everyone is great at that. So Will has to sneak around to see the woman he loves, I didn't think he would have too after the end of the movie, and that isn't a bad thing just a surprise. The surprises are what I like about the stories. Ah, her father can't make her marry someone she doesn't love, I sure hope Will can sweep her off her feet and get her away from there before anything happens. I'll be ready to see what transpires next. Write more soon.

Shelby
Eviefan chapter 2 . 2/3/2005
Ahh, another great addition to this story. I love the discription in this bit, the care you took with describing more of the tavern right down to the stench of unwashed bodies, it paints a picture in my mind and I like when a story does that. Kit sounds like a charactor and then some. Sounds like he is going to prove to be a great asset to the group, or maybe great trouble or both. I like how Kit seemed ready to handle himself when Keiran appraoched him, and it was sort of sad to see that Kit couldn't trust him but then again his life had not afforded him much love or so it seems. Great addition.

Shelby
Eviefan chapter 1 . 2/3/2005
What a good start to what I know will be a good story. You know all bias set aside, this is just like watching the movie. You two writers have the charactors down pat in their manerisms and their speach and its interersting to see what will come next. Heidi, I think my favorite part of your add is when the pirate starts to pull Gabrielle toward him and she pokes her knife at him and tells him if he values his family jewels he should go on about his business. Not exact quote but I love that part.

Briannarabbit, I love how you add more to this mysterious woman, and how she introduces who she is by taking off her necklace with the Aztec gold on it and tossing it on the table. I like that she is a strong woman and this is going to be fun to read.

Shelby
Chibi Hermione chapter 3 . 1/3/2005
I love this story so far. I can't wait to add to it. GOtta get to class now. Bye.

Love From,

Chibi Hermione
Sherlock's Sparrow chapter 3 . 12/30/2004
Wow, I didn't see that coming. This is really great. I hope to keep it going as great as it already is.

Yours Sincerely,

Sherlock's Sparrow
Sherlock's Sparrow chapter 2 . 12/29/2004
Once again, great chapter! You guys are a great bunch.

Yours Sincerely,

Sherlock's Sparrow
Sherlock's Sparrow chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
This is good so far. I wonder what's going to happen next. Can't wait to write my bit.

Yours Sincerely,

Sherlock's Sparrow
celwriter chapter 1 . 12/19/2004
easy on the eyes? he's incredibly hot!

lol

i loved the decription and characterization. i'm already getting to know the characters

great job so far
Vaticus chapter 2 . 12/17/2004
I'm from MFC Forum and my name is Vaticus.

I need to say that I have only seen Pirateas of the Carribbean once - so I am not as familiar as most folks with the characters, etc. That being said, I'm wondering if it is expected that the reader be familiar with the setting in detail before reading the fanfic.

With regard to the second chapter, I have a few comments for the writer. I found it a bit difficult to follow the pronouns at times. Kit's name just seems to pop up unexpectedly.

At the risk of being brutal, let me make some comments about two sentences in particular. "Kit's hand went to his dagger pulling it deftly from its sheath and moved in as the lankier of the three, pulled a dagger ready to toss it at Sparrow's back. The dagger hit its mark and the pirate fell backward, Kit's dagger buried to the hilt in his chest."

When I first read it, I thought that the lanky pirate had killed Sparrow until I saw that Kit's dagger had done the killing. Now - specific wording - "Kit's hand went to his dagger", but what (who) "moved in" - the dagger (?) Kit (?) Kit's hand (?).. not clear. What about the "lankier of the three"... the three what? And why is there a comma after three?

Would it be better to say something like this -

"Kit deftly pulled his dagger from its sheath, moving in as the lankier pirate armed himself, ready to toss a dagger at Sparrow's back. Kit's dagger hit its mark, buried to the hilt in the chest of the lanky man who fell backward."

By wording it so that Kit is doing that action rather than his hand, it makes it clearer that he is moving in. In the second sentence, by identifying the killing weapon as "Kit's dagger" right away, the reader isn't left with the ambiguity as to who threw the dagger - worrying that Captain Jack has been 'done in'... egads!

Hope this helps! Keep writing!
susan chapter 2 . 12/9/2004
this is an excellent story..would love to get involved if you need the help...
Ian Vaticus chapter 1 . 12/9/2004
First of all, I'm Vaticus from the MFC Forum. Secondly, I seldom read fanfic as the sentences run all across the screen - in and out of my bifocal range. So I have to be especially taken with the story in order to actually finish reading the chapter as I need to move my head back and forth with each line to keep the print in focus.

That being said, I did finish the chapter and found it quite entertaining. It was easy to picture exactly what was going and the demeanor of the people involved. The description of Gabrielle's use of the umbrella like a sword gave this reader a precise notion of her moves and the results on the pirate. The follow up with the knife shows that she is not a lady to be trifled with.

While the story flowed nicely, I did notice that the paragraph structure seemed to change when there was a change of author. But, as this is the first chain fan fic I have read, perhaps that is not unusual.

Good job to both authors!
Kaiho chapter 2 . 12/8/2004
dudes u gonna write more or what?