Reviews for Artemis Fowl: The Aztec Incident
Bruv chapter 21 . 7/12/2021
How in the world is THIS one of the most reviewed and beloved Artemis Fowl fics? This is one of the biggest loads of garbage I've read on this sight, and I am fully counting it as worse than the thousands of juvenile attempts at writing with unchecked spelling and grammar and unoriginal plot points.

It really jumps head-first into the proverbial dwarf's bumhole with the very first chapter. The canonical versions of Holly, Root, and Foaly would balk at the idea of birthing and raising a sentient being just for the sake of making the child their backup genius and would condemn anyone who proposed the idea to them - let alone consider the proposition of raping a young teen to do it. Hell, even if he was on board with the first idea somehow, Foaly is supposed to be smart; it shouldn't take him more than a moment to point out that semen is far from the only source of DNA necessary and that they could just cop some blood or hair from Artemis. (If he could actually point it out fast enough for anybody to hear before Root and Holly reacted; as temperamental and good hearted as the real versions of them are, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually just punched out whoever proposed the idea then and there.) And while we're at it, Mulch wouldn't take the job, either. He risked himself to try to help save Artemis from Jon Spiro and the mob. You think he'd actually consent to basically raping him?

Then there's the actual portrayal of Artemis in this fic. He doesn't act like a genius Nobel Prize winner in his twenties. He acts like an adolescent with a dictionary in the body of a man in his twenties. Whether or not he forgot the good he learned from the People, he'd still be more MATURE than this. A lack of morals or a conscience does not translate to a lack of maturity or the ability to carry oneself like an adult. He just acts incredibly juvenile throughout most of the story, and is incredibly disappointing for an attempt to interpret a theoretical adult Artemis.

The only reason I won't hold you accountable for Opal's characterization is because this fic was started and completed before the release of The Opal Deception, which means you only had The Arctic Incident to go off of for judging her character; interpreting her as a selfish and childish but potentially redeemable character isn't entirely unreasonable, even if I still think that it would be off the mark.

Quartz is also pathetic. He would be less pathetic if you didn't waver between wanting to portray him as sympathetic and having him willing to cut out the heart of a literal child to commit genocide and then be willing to do it anyway just for revenge, but you did, and it was awful.

And then there's the romance. It's cringe. Just all of it. Proposing that Holly had secretly been crushing on somebody who she'd only been friends with for a while before mind wiping him is cringe. Proposing that Holly was actually in love with somebody she was fine with having raped is cringe. Proposing that Artemis would willingly fall in love with somebody who had him raped to use his genetic material as a science experiment is cringe. Their entire "development" over the course of the fic was tropey, unoriginal, boring, and cringe.

This read was not worth it. That's a day's worth of free time I'm not getting back. I hope that the years have taught you how to put together better stories by now.
Guest chapter 6 . 12/20/2020
If I was artemis I'd be far angrier about this. Even Patrick too
Katzrulemeow chapter 2 . 7/23/2020
Hahaha. Sorry Mulch he has one of the worst jobs don’et he
Katzrulemeow chapter 1 . 7/23/2020
Wow, Grub isn’t that dumb here I have to admit I agree with Commander Root about that.
Clear Skydancer chapter 7 . 7/9/2020
Alright, so I'm gonna be dropping this here. I really thought I'd be able to slog through it to see how this dumpster fire manages to *somehow* put these two in a relationship that doesn't feel shoehorned in, but after hearing Holly smugly talk about how she didn't find Artemis' pubescent genitals impressive is where I gotta draw the line.

The racism I was putting up with. I was grudgingly doing the same to the fact that Holly, party to this pubescent *child*'s rape (and yes, it *is* still a rape even if penetration never happened) is somehow not being painted as in the wrong during every interaction with her *victim*.

Unnamed flamer or whatever might not have read the story, but I've read it up to this chapter and it's pretty sick.
Clear Skydancer chapter 6 . 7/9/2020
This story probably should have a comedy tag. "Holly will be there to protect him." I actually snorted out loud at that. Who's going to protect him from her if she decides they need a backup mud baby since their current one got kidnapped?

Which segues quite nicely into my next point. "Mud Man", "Mud boy". Really catchy words, aren't they? Here's a fun game we can all play, every time Holly mentally our out loud refers to Artemis as a mud-something, replace that mud-something with a racial slur of your choice, then take a drink.
Clear Skydancer chapter 5 . 7/9/2020
God, this is hard to read. Holly keeps referring to him with racial epithets, has, and I'm going to keep pointing this out, succeeded in having him *raped*, and both she and the narrative treat this like *Artemis* is the asshole in this meeting.
Clear Skydancer chapter 4 . 7/9/2020
So, Holly's still thinking about Artemis as a Mud Man. It takes a special kind of awful person to think about the unwilling father of their rape baby with racial epithets and still consider themselves a good person. With every chapter it really sinks in how despicable this version of Holly is.
Clear Skydancer chapter 3 . 7/9/2020
Holly talking about how Artemis barely had a heart considering what she's done is really just, ugh. Words fail to adequately describe how much my skin was crawling hearing her talk about how 'he'd have deserved it' if she wanted to beat him.
Clear Skydancer chapter 2 . 7/9/2020
Decided that maybe I should try some Artemis Fowl fiction that isn't just thrower of the dart, came across this.
I'll say it now, *any* sort of relation between Holly and Artemis is going to be a pretty hard sell given how unbelievably skeevy the fairies and Holly have been so far. The argument of it being for the fairy world also doesn't lend much weight because they've wiped his memories and raped him.
I'm going to keep going but the confirmation from earlier that this is going to be Artemis/Holly really strains my S.O.D given how much Artemis desires control and how much the faeries have ripped away from him for poor reasons.
Also, the bit about mind-wiping Mulch should have been given more weight. In canon mind wiping a fairy is so anathema to them they refused to mind wipe Opal Koboi, and here they're totally fine doing it to Mulch because they're worried about secrecy.
So while the chapter was fairly interesting, it *really* undersold how awful Foaly, Holly, and Root are.
annapsarudaki chapter 14 . 6/9/2020
Ι loved all this action-filled chapter! Evil cliffy here, it's a good thing I read it now when it's finished.
The bit with the two additional gods statues was hilarious and so was Holly teasing Artemis.
hsgsfsaf fs chapter 1 . 5/30/2020
Sadness for holly
annapsarudaki chapter 11 . 5/29/2020
I love it so much that it plays in the jungle. I have recently watched Green Frontier on Netflix and am so excited about adventures set in the jungle!
annapsarudaki chapter 7 . 5/25/2020
I like this story a lot. Patrick is a well written original character. I like how he has traits from both Artemis and Holly. It's always fun to read scenes with those two bickering.
frans4life chapter 21 . 1/9/2020
Ah, not particuarly satisfying ending. Passable pacing, though I'm sure you could cut down 20k words for the better... Made in 2005, but the Mulch and Opal thing was still super weird. Not really worth the amount of time you spent reading it, I would not recommend.
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