|Reviews for Eldritch Asylum|
| Archimand chapter 1 . 1/12
honestly one of the 2 best harry potter/ranma 1/2 crossovers with female ranma being centric.
so sad that both stories are abandoned, they both show great story promise of amnesiac deaged ranma with great skills.
| Spokavriel chapter 8 . 8/24/2016
This wasn't a bad story until someone cast Obliviate. I can't avoid the thought that he took too much. IE anything he considered super human. Things that would hint at accidental magic in his mind. It would also wipe any and all memories of how much more than a normal girl Ranma is. Likely memories of Ranma's gender changing too.
From that time onward you had too much happening in quick succession, deliberately bewildering without establishing a tone that lets it be more than confusing and annoying. Take the fight on the roof. You introduce that they are more than just literal shadow boxing by having them impact the environment. Nice addition but if you need the other introduction of the Golden Apple that night we need the shadow bit sooner, so we can get use to it.
Nothing sets the mood to let us have any reason to believe the guy with the apple is any more real than delusions of people who have bad concussions. The tone is wrong. And through the fight you are also feeding us Ranma's internal debate on what is wrong about the Obliviation. Ranma has been having to live the last 2 years of her life with all events and people of her past memories lost to her. How can she be sure she wasn't Obliviated before she was locked into the Asylum? But that idea doesn't occur to her. That doesn't give the right feel for dealing with a confrontation by an extra-dimensional being.
The next part is good that it isn't so overlapped but after wasting time in the philosophy of existence only being a manifestation of ones own subconscious you toss the Vampire Mafia at us. How are Ranma's friends dumb enough to do this? To go far enough that it included a TRAIN and not stop to think its better to wait for her to come back to her house? What about the Reverse function on the Omniocculars? They could use it to back track to where they started! But no. They keep trying to find where Ranma got to until meeting the Vampires.
Slap on the Wizard court crap while we are still stressing about the injuries... And you also then drag in Helsing.
Ranma didn't even notice the effects the Dementor had on the others of the cabin because of the prison break... You know you could have better established that she was acting as the prison not just crazy from an encounter where she sealed a Great Old One in that Train incident 4 years ago.
Harry never gets to give the gift. The sorting doesn't even happen. This Story is dead. But if you could find a way to decompress it and give the right feel to the Mythos elements it could work.
Was the Medal destroyed or was that another illusion? It is hard to be sure with how overlapping things are.
Daniel Thomas Stack
AKA Spokavriel at yahoo.
| Guest chapter 9 . 7/15/2016
Sad this is all
Glad at least this is published
| Guest chapter 8 . 7/15/2016
Those nightmares with all the cat- words are awesome.
Never seen or heard about cat nightmares like that.
But it sounds completely plausible, having a 'smarter' Ranma (or at least with a bigger vocabulary) and that punishment.
Thank you for writing this.
And then sharing it.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/15/2016
Let me correct that
That was awesome
I wish this was continued,
Yes there are many people who only want to read feel good stories but a very good horror story is FANTASTIC too.
Seriously this is up there with 'Circular Reasoning'
Thank you for sharing this,
THANK YOU !
Seriously thank you for sharing this.
| shugokage chapter 9 . 9/11/2015
A truly unique story and concept good job and it is sad to see it incomplete!
| Reymen chapter 5 . 8/31/2015
This is the most fun shoping trip I have ever read about, nice work.
| Smiling Seshat chapter 1 . 1/17/2015
Is this abandonned?
| Kordesha chapter 9 . 11/13/2014
Love this story! I still keep checking every so often to see if you've updated. I hate unfinished stories, but this one is good enough that I will still reread it occasionally.
| KingofPretzels chapter 9 . 9/23/2014
Lovely piece you've written, even incomplete and hanging in the breeze. Having been six years since it's been declared dead, there is no chance of its continuation, but I am continually impressed by it.
Superficially, the spelling, grammar, and formatting are without noticeable error. It's a small thing, but it takes effort and makes a story easy and fun to read all by itself. I've seen too many fics ruined by the authors' seemingly religious avoidance of punctuation. Your tone is consistent - it flutters between horror, comedy, and good old martial arts with as much ease as characters that it brings to life, but it maintains itself throughout with good quality.
The story itself is unique and gripping, enough that the plot lines that it has left open stay in my mind. Were it finished, this story would easily be publishable, disregarding pesky copyright restrictions. I keep returning to it, and expect to do so when the mood strikes me for years to come.
Excellent work, shame it isn't finished, and a greater shame that you haven't written more since. I can only hope that you've taken up writing professionally, as your gift shouldn't go unused.
| Winter's Folly - Summer's Vice chapter 9 . 8/11/2014
Lovely. I hope this is not an unfortunate termination, of either the story or the author.
| Winter's Folly - Summer's Vice chapter 8 . 8/11/2014
Might I say this is amazing, I am worried about that amulet, and I would love to see you scale things up to even ground.
| Winter's Folly - Summer's Vice chapter 7 . 8/11/2014
I sooo knew it when you said trenchcoat! Frickin amazing babe!
| Winter's Folly - Summer's Vice chapter 6 . 8/11/2014
Nice fight scenes. Wonder what the plot is for this.
| Winter's Folly - Summer's Vice chapter 5 . 8/11/2014