|Reviews for Control|
| YamCakes chapter 18 . 2/17
How many times has Yukari been raped o_o
| LuffyKun3695 chapter 7 . 3/7/2013
Best author's note ever. Basically, the edit is a little strange because futunari. Why futa? Because f*ck you. Lol.
| RPPuzzle chapter 14 . 6/8/2012
Oh yeah so another thing I was going to ask was how come Nyamo didn’t notice Yukari’s drug use when you know they were both naked in her room? Again everything I'm reading is very engaging and when stuff happens in my life that tears me away from reading this story I get withdrawals XD.
Shock and awe man. I can’t quite figure out what Nyamo is thinkin about the sex, but then again I guess anyone in her situation would have conflicting feelings given their relationship. Just crazy yo, and I like this thought in the back of Nyamo’s mind (kya!): “she wanted the event to be a possible step in the direction of a relationship, as impossible as it seemed.”
Sooob ;_;: “What a fitting way for someone like her to die: worthless and never understood.”
Drugs are evil man! And that dealer’s eviler! Poor Yukari please rescue her soon Nyamo! ;_;
Aww Yukari, back before she was well into heavy drugs anyway: “Yukari loved to dance and she was actually pretty good at it before the inevitable bout of intoxication consumed her.”
NYAMO you’re my hero yo you’re so kind and caring! Though I’m not sure why you wouldn’t think to be searching the red light district but ah well: “It took her an entire week to search the clubs and streets in her starting vicinity. Her usual eight hours of sleep per night dwindled down to six, and then to four, and sometimes to three or two. During the day she was listless and irritable.”
No dammit no, stupid fucking disgusting grease dealer bastard how dare you do this to Yukari and with the damn semen release she’s probably going to get pregnant you asshole. Grr…
I hear this though :-/ “A society that had never accepted her, or that couldn't accept her the way that she was?”
What is really up with that cat? What does he mean he’s going to look for new meat?
No Nyamo you will see Yukari again don’t think things like that just cause the stupid vice principal suggested it ;_;. And this set strip…I wonder if it’s really where Yukari is. I have a feeling it’s not, but hopefully it is. Nooo Nyamo don’t let Yukari go if you can’t find her in the strip set dang it! Yikes letting Yukari drive…not the wisest of decisions.
Holy crap Nyamo’s been gone from her apartment/job for 6 months? Or is that how long she’s been on drugs? Well the VP in the previous chapter said she’d been gone for over 4 weeks…
OMG Yukari you almost ran over Nyamo! And Nyamo, how did you not realize that the crazy driver could’ve been Yukari? And she’s right there the person you’ve been searching so tirelessly for! ;_;
Yukari your thoughts are breaking my heart, and maybe she’s right once you’re so far gone there’s no being able to turn back exactly :-/. So sad…
Ooo nice analogy: “who made friends as easily as Midas had made gold.”
Ah this makes sense yes. I mean it’s still not right to take advantage of Nyamo like that but…well that’s just who Yukari is: “They would never understand or accept her reasons. To make Nyamo pay for everything meant to re enforce their friendship.”
Uh no, putting off homework to bring us this chapter is amazing! Screw school you’re such a good writer there’s nothing more it can teach you.
*tears up and wishes she could fetch Yukari for Nyamo*: “All she had wanted was to have Yukari back. She would have given anything for the chance to pay for one more steak dinner, to engage in one more trivial argument, to play one more video game, to get into one more fight over the past, only with Yukari.”
| RPPuzzle chapter 7 . 6/8/2012
So the short of the long of this review is: OMG this is all so superb and amazing, even though I'm naive and have questions about plot n stuff partly because I don't know about all the drugs and the terms that go with it!
Alright now that that's established, this time I split up my review into comments on specific chapters with a -. Starts w/ chapter 5 comments. Now onto said random comments, which I feel like leaving here whether or not you, the author, or anyone else reads them.
How much time has passed from chapter 5 to 6 btw?
Ah ah how did Yukari do this with that giant bruise on her leg? x_x: “She pulled her hands from Nyamo's and sat back, crossing one leg over the other.”
Noooo why Yukari why? :( “She had been jittery all afternoon and her compulsions were getting harder to control.”
Hmm…no, not when you’re on drugs sadly: “She was the one who had the control over her life, not him, and that was all there was to it.”
Aww Yukari-chan :( “Yukari never dealt out compliments easily because she never received all that many herself.”
I love how Nyamo tries not to worry and plays stuff off, but then like give her a bit of time like a whole school day, and she’s thinking Yukari’s dead or busted in the hospital for having drugs in her system. Hmm wonder why she isn’t feverish even though she seems to be displaying the symptoms…oh fudge it’s withdrawals isn’t it? Oh nope just the effects of snorting the stuff instead of injecting it. Gaaah x_x.
I’m thinkin Yukari can’t stand to look at her student’s faces because she feels ashamed or wishes she could start over and not get addicted to drugs n such.
Sorry I feel like such a sheltered idiot, but what does this mean?: “something soon then she would start pulling out, and that was something that she didn't want to do.”
Again another what is this drug moment? And I sigh at the shaking and the trance she’s in as a result of the crook and am wondering what crap he’s got her on now -_-: “Glass tube held between her lips, she clicked the lighter on beneath the tinfoil and inhaled the resulting fumes.”
I’m also scared as to what she’s going to do for extra money :(. I’ve felt like this before…wonder what drove her to feeling like this though: “Previously she had wanted to forget and become ignorant, but now she wanted to feel something.”
Man it is so awesome to picture Yukari leaning against the doorframe all cocky and in a tanktop and boxer shorts :3. Whoa she walked there w/ no shoes though? Crazy.
This makes so much sense. Good thing I use the former approach rather than the latter. Heck reading this fic I’m like I am SO not ever trying drugs no matter how bad things get: “When it came to getting comfort, she never sought out a hug or a friendly conversation. Her comfort was always found at the bottom of a beer bottle, or as Nyamo had only recently discovered, at the pointed end of a syringe.”
There’s something so beautiful, yet sad about this. Whatever it is I love it: “She wanted to feel something and be felt in return, not just physically but emotionally as well. Nyamo was the only one who understood her enough to give her such emotional fulfillment and there was no way that she could have ever expressed that in words.”
*FACEPALM* SERIOUSLY NYAMO?: “Relationships between teachers were strictly prohibited, not to mention the fact that they were both women and would be condemned for what they were doing.”
And come on that’s not fair Nyamo even if it is kind of true :-/. But there’s gotta be part of you that wants it too yo!: “Yukari wanted something and it was Nyamo's place to provide it.”
Also you say this is shojo-ai, but I’m thinking it’s pretty much straight up yuri. At least chapter 7 anyway. But maybe it’s not since the emotions of being lesbian/bi isn’t exactly there? Hmm…
So true, Nyamo’s a great friend. Also I like how Yukari is admitting this to herself: “Nyamo always took care of her when she needed it, even though they both knew that the care was repeatedly exploited and taken advantage of.”
NOOOO!: “Yukari wasn't looking to be rescued though. The only thing she needed to be rescued from was herself, and it was getting to be too late for that.”
WHAT THE HELL NOOO GAAAH choose Nyamo damn you!: “For the good of them both she left the apartment with full acceptance of the knowledge that she would never see Nyamo again.”
God that was all so conflictingly amazingly sexy and then so sad and…mou… Yukari, come on how were you not ready to have the relationship go to that level? I mean I guess I get it…but it’s sad nonetheless. Also in this story you’ve crafted here, have Yukari and Nyamo ever had sex before?
| RPPuzzle chapter 4 . 6/8/2012
So this review is of chappies 2-4, not sure where one chapter commentary stops/ends. There are quotes of some of the parts I really liked or wanted to say something about.
Oh crap you mean well-rounded women don’t do this?: “She didn't want to argue with Nyamo right now, mostly because she didn't remember anything about the previous night. That was a frightening thing to think about, so naturally she did what any well-rounded and sensible woman would have done. She didn't think about it at all.”
Jeez worried face for Yukari having had this need for drug fixes for a while. Guess it makes sense why she has Nyamo pay for booze…makes me sad. You’re right about this though:
“I have a thing about dealing with the more dramatic side of a humorous character because it just makes them a little bit more believable and, in a rather sadistic fashion, enjoyable.”
I really like this metaphor or analogy for Yukari and it’s true of many people as well I bet. Kudos dude: “Her gaze shifted back towards the desk, particularly to the many stacks of books on top of it. Their placement was steady, yet precarious at the same time. They wouldn't have fallen on their own, but should one of them slip then the rest would undoubtedly follow. Such was the case with Yukari herself: Unorganized, difficult to figure out, but not unstable unless some portion gave way.”
OMG this is EXACTLY what Kimura’s like: “He seemed to strain for the words as though his attention span was permanently diverted towards something else.”
Holy freaking crap Nyamo’s like the best friend ever dude. Your depiction of both their characters is impeccable and amazing. And oh my god man the story and the flow of it and all that is freaking so natural I’m almost thinking this could be a true story.
How Nyamo didn’t freaking grab her by the scruff of her shirt in a rage I’ll never know: "Geez, you gotta learn to lay off. I mean it's not my fault you don't know how to have a little fun. If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were jealous."
Awww Caaaaarl this makes me sad: “She slipped her hand around the curve of Yukari's neck and kissed her gently on the forehead. It wasn't meant as anything beyond a friendly touch.”
Whoa and you’re censoring chapter 4? That’s crazy…wonder what the uncensored version’s like.
Oh my heck, so how the heck did Yukari get the prescriptions for those meds? What drugs can you make with those meds anyway? And gah reading the description of her getting injected is making me writhe and cringe ugh! Ow…ow! *gets phantom pains from reading the description of it*
:( This is exactly why she’s doing this though: “Part of her wasn't surprised. She had always been a screw up in one way or another.” Poor Yukari feels so crappy.
And damn so she got gang-raped…er maybe not (yet I’m guessing)? I’m hoping they didn’t penetrate her in that they just didn’t have time to? Some dude was telling one of them to hurry up…hm… Wow this is only the beginning of the spiral huh? Dang this is heavy stuff, but it’s very engaging. I hope there’s some up times in the spiral.
| RPPuzzle chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
Dude first chapter and I'm like oh man this is going to be good! I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that the sexual content will happen between Nyamo and Yukari, but the "shojo-ai" classification worries me.
Makes me sad to think that Nyamo puts up with Yukari only because no one else would. Kind of reminds me of a friend I hang with who's way hard to put up with, but I don't know if anyone but me would long term... It's sad really...I kinda feel like a crappy person since Nyamo can handle it and I can't.
Ah well anyway I'll be tempted to review every chapter, but I'll try to minimize the amount of reviews I leave.
| Faye-chan chapter 32 . 12/26/2011
| ScOut4It chapter 2 . 1/29/2011
I'm still feeling this out. I really like Nyamo's personality as you write her (b.t.w. I haven't seen this anime, just did a little wiki research so I wouldn't be completely lost ;) "Hey, a good story is a good story, I don't care about what show/book/movie/etc...it's based on."
I'm trying really hard to find some traits that endear me to Yukari, but I'm sure when she stops acting like a total asshole to her most supportive friend in her life, then I might start to warm up more to her. I get that right now she's in denial stage, so when she starts to snap somewhat out of that, then I'll 'dig' her more.
| Sapphire-sama Dreamer chapter 32 . 10/24/2010
This was very good.
| Sorflakne chapter 32 . 6/16/2010
Chapter 20 was easily the best chapter. Period. And not in a 'I-love-gore' way, but it...worked. It made perfect sense in a way that you really can't put in words when you compare and contrast Yukari and Nyamo and how they interact and clash.
Though the car ride is right up there as well, because...well, you know...
The ending was rather abrupt, I'll admit, but it was fitting. Nyamo was a goddamn saint for what she did trying to find Yukari and wishing to help her recover, but in the end, Yukari finally got what she wanted (even if it turned out to probably not be what she expected) because she couldn't get away from the Peter Pan Syndrome that her mind was firmly locked into. It occurred to me right at the end that there was a hint of the question of what would happen if an unstoppable force met an immovable object...dammit now I'm going to be stewing on that for awhile.
I liked it; not every story has a happy ending. That's reality. I'd love to see a follow-up to this story, but seeing as it's been over two years since you updated Control, I'll more than likely be left to my imagination to figure out what happens :P (especially with the notes in chapter...29 or 30)
| Dat fucking writefag chapter 1 . 5/9/2010
I recommend to read this fic while listening to "Chasing the Dragon" by Epica.
| qwpoijd chapter 32 . 3/9/2010
Please tell me you'll be writing for real some day. Please.
Fantastic shit, but now I will never see Azumanga Daioh the same way ever again...
| red pill chapter 32 . 8/20/2009
right. so, i read it all, and i dont know if it was your intent, but it was one of the most crushingly depressing storys ive read. i mean this in the best of ways. i wont say i enjoyed it, becous it seems to lack even a bitter sweet ending. but it sucked me in, and i had to read it to the end.
whilst its your story, and it wont stop me reading if it dosent happen, i just want to say, its my deepest hope that yukari and naymo reconsile.
anyway, this is an amazingly writen, powerful story.
| FlushedFox chapter 32 . 7/21/2009
Azumanga Daioh...light, fluffy and no plot or character development. almost afternoon, i'm scrolling for some azu fics and BAM! this story hits me in the face like Nyamo's crowbar to that bastard Yokio (which i've never felt so much hatred to an oc or any character before...good job!).
half a day later, i'm shirking homework and desperately trying to finish the epilouge before i exploded from the fucking anticipation!
other than having an amazing plot and character developement, everything was perfect...just, utter...perfection! I could relate to the characters and actually feel Nyamo's rage or Yukari's desperation!
I congratulate you on the most kick ass story and i'm only sorry i haven't seen Azumanga Daioh when it came out so i could follow you on this wonderous adventure.
| Dat fucking writefag chapter 32 . 6/24/2009
You know Heinrich Heine? An old German poet of the Romance who wrote many reversible poems. They seem to be happy, naughty and really beautiful written. But when it came down to the true side of the poem, it showed only sadness and dark irony.
And this is how I just felt when I read it.
At first I enjoyed the twist the Yukari got drug addicted(really realistic btw, have you undergone the same shit?) and sooner or later despite the abusement she suffered(which made me cringe) Nyamo and Yukari would end up together WITH HAWT LESBIAN SEX AND YURI GOODNESS.
...And I was wrong.
You...managed to twist the characters I have enjoyed in an ironicly also reversible anime about depression,obsession and unwanted feelings, characters which showed complexy and gave the watcher and reader sympathy and love into a more darker aspect to let you rethinking about your personal values.
Both Yukari and Nyamo were always arguring each other with their own values and always fought over controll during anime. How you managed it twisting it into a more pessimistic interpretation is beyond I guess chapter 31 really showed the reason why you called the fic ''Controll''.
Not just the controll over life, the controll over one person, no, What people drove to this need to ''controll''.
The fucked up term ''controll'' per se.
Yurkari, who couldn't have controll over herself,her life or anyone else and seeing Nyamo offering help made her feel less (in her interpretation controll) was driven to drugs to find a more positive aspect in life and let have an abusive dealer get controll over her.
And then in the last chapters Nyamo, a confident and lovely woman, revealed as a broken woman who was raped by her obsessive boyfriend repeatetly as teenager, who found an escape from his controll by the meeting with Yukari. Or as she stated ''a convenient excuse''.
Until the last chapter I hoped they could make up despite the shit what happened, but you didn't let that didn't let them have their happiness because of their stubborness and ''guilt'' of life by presenting them into really twisted characters who can be defined as tragic. They had the chance to make up,but they didn't. Both of them didn't. And like crazyhorse08 said already, your last line clearly showed the darkest pits of irony I came across in literature.
The epilogue literally slapped me into the face of something I expected to happen didn't occured. You haven't made a fucked up ending like many Animes when it came down to ''Sad Lesbian Ending'', you made a fucked ending meaning that you made a logical conclusion of their problems. The sad ending of reality.
Right now my stomach is curling after I read it and I am so damn uncomfortable emotionally.I feel like I saw something I wasn't supposed to see and try to force them to the subconscious,to forget the shit what happened.
I doubt I will never see AzuDai the way I saw before.
Very view works managed that, but I think the name Dostoyevsky is the best to mention.
Despite this, this is one of the few literaturical epics of fanfiction I came thing they always tend to shoujo ai related terms, like ''The Absence'' or ''MInd, Body and Soul''. I don't know why the only good works come to that area,but why should I blame that? IT HAS LESBIANS!
-okay, in this one not really, but you know what am I talking about.
So please write a continue in hope of a real happy ending.I don't want both ending up still being so fucking stupid and avoid their happyness just because of the perverted need to ''controll''.Heh, who knows, maybe the Azu-gang will play a major role as it seemed in the last scene with the dealer. Maybe we will read more from them than we guess now.
On a side note, I would be glad if you would do another KaorinxSakaki fic, but working more through Kaorin's ''neuroticism'' and ''the unresolved mental issues, such as low self-esteem, depression, anger problems and an unfounded obsession with one certain girl'' (weener1) than just her stalking character.
Meh, do as you please really, just a suggestion.
Have a nice day!