|Reviews for Magic and Technology|
| Colleen chapter 1 . 12/22/2008
Oh this is promising! cant wait to read more!
| DarkEcho-in-the-sky chapter 3 . 4/30/2008
awesome story please right more. i look forward to more story please make your chapters longer
| Defender chapter 3 . 3/10/2007
I liked your author's note. (Odd that I am reviewing b/c of it...) The Disclaimer... To disclaim... Now you have me thinking and that is never a good thing...(Just kidding) But, I think you are doing a fine job so far. Keep it up
| tracy chapter 2 . 11/28/2006
you show some talent. Write some more
| k chapter 3 . 11/22/2006
| Skylark3 chapter 3 . 4/17/2006
I think this fic is great! Honestly, it doesn't matter to me if there were a few nitpicky bits such as putting an apostrophe in the wrong place. (I didn't notice any and anyway, it's hardly the big deal some people like to make it out to be!)
This is a really nice Xanth fic so far. It's more like the first couple of books in the series, where the story wasn't completely overrun by random puns. All of your characters do seem really interesting thus far, especially Trace the hippie. :P
I guess you're not going to continue with this, since the last update was so long ago, but I would like you to know I really enjoyed it so far nevertheless! (And if you do ever continue with it, I will read it!)
| Adeptis chapter 3 . 9/28/2005
Good story. Can't wait to see how it progresses
| Angel Sunami chapter 3 . 4/22/2005
Quite good so far. I suggest to try adding more detail and making the chapters a bit longer. Other than that I believe the story is developing very well. Keep up the good work.
| Hermione W. Cullen chapter 3 . 2/21/2005
This chapter is another literary triumph, but I have a few things to point out to you. Sahrah is realizing that Mark is a mundane, you wrote that he would not know anything about Xanth or it's magic. I believe you meant "its" magic. "it" in possessive form contains no apostrophe. 2. Xanthians speak in a classical tongue and I would assume they don't know words like "geezer". 3. Stop trying to write comedy and drama at the same time. Only Piers Anthony can do that.
Other than that, I'd just like to encourage you to keep writing.
| Hermione W. Cullen chapter 2 . 2/21/2005
This is good stuff...you might want to work in some of the Xanth puns though. I like the curse burrs...
the intro was a good idea.
| Balistico-Antipatico chapter 1 . 1/16/2005
Unfortunately for you, the good parts will probably come first, followed by the bad.
First off, you stand head and shoulders above the majority of writers on you can write in complete sentences with correct grammar and spelling. (Or, to put in their words, "U writ al purtty.") While this is only one compliment, I must say I was impressed, and even more so when I saw that you're 17. You're using some complicated sentence structures correctly (or close enough to it that it appears correct to me), which I was only just starting to experiment with when I was 17. Kudos to you: you have a firm grasp on the English language!
Now for the bad...
First, a formatting suggestion: Break up the POV changes with more than just a paragraph break. POV change itself is fine, and I think you did it all right, but insert something like an elipsis (which I think made a physical appearance in one of the books, somewhere between 15 and 20 if I remember right) to make the break stand out more than the regular paragraph breaks.
Perhaps a touch of proofing here and there, to fix a missed quotation mark or inconsistent tense... still I'm surprised by the lack of glaring crimes against the English language.
With only 2 chapters to your story thus far, I can only offer some words of warning. Use caution in any possible romance between Sahrah and Mark-sure, there's often some sort of romance in the Xanth books, but don't let it turn into a "Marty Stu" situation, with a character based on yourself, winning the beautiful girl, etc., turning the story into something more about your own fantasies than something with more of a plot. Maybe you've already covered that, but it's still a large hole for you to fall into.
I'm finding it hard to play grumblecakes on this, however. You're a raity: your writing doesn't suck.
| Elendil Star-Lover chapter 2 . 10/2/2004
. I love Xanth. I been eating them up like there's no tomorow.
I just wish that there was more half-decent fanfics to read...which means you must update soon because this is one of the half-decent ones (more than half-decent, actually)!