|Reviews for Wish|
| aass chapter 1 . 7/6/2013
| James018 chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
Interesting. I liked it a lot.
| aka.thenewguy chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
It works. I guess. Often with writting people say there is not enough dialogue and too much description. This is the opposite I feel with not enough description. However the story is good. Stories like these grab my attention but then I guess at the end everyone is left wanting more. It's hard to find the balence between not enough and too much.
Still. Good story and I enjoyed it alot.
| NarutosBrat chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
Great story, I wish it was more than just a oneshot.
| Taintless chapter 1 . 12/12/2004
Kind of confusing...
| spoonorama chapter 1 . 12/11/2004
That was a really nice oneshot, I'm starting to really enjoy reading fics involving Susan Bones.
| Anna Dagger chapter 1 . 12/10/2004
was write interesting.
| jesse1588 chapter 1 . 10/9/2004
Wow! really good.
| Xoni Newcomer chapter 1 . 10/6/2004
I liked this, although the debate was very one-sided since the beginning. Harry's firmness was worthy of admiration, whereas Cho's arguments were rather ludicrous, and she wasn't coherent in her emotional stand.
| The Phoenix King chapter 1 . 10/5/2004
Interesting writing style. One issue I had with this story is since there are no descriptions beside the dialogue, it's a bit hard to figure out who's speaking when. Other than that, it was alright.
| TheDarkestAngel16 chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
I really enjoyed that. I like the writing style, though it only works for these short, one-shot stories. I also enjoy the Harry/Susan thing. I look forward to reading more of your writings.
| grookill chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
You have a few gramatical errors that could/should have been avoided, but outrageously bad. One error that stuck in my head was "...me and Susan we[re] talking." The speaker always comes last, and it isn't "me was talking", it is "I was talking." Therefore it should be "...Susan and I were talking."
Other than that, this was interesting in that you picked Susan Bones. There really hasn't been much in the way of Susan/Harry interaction in any of JKR's books, and I'm glad you used her here.
As for the style of writing, it was well done in that you did nothing to *show* the actions and reactions of the cast and only used dialog to convey what was going on. As an experiment, I think it was well done, but I don't recommend this a regular style of writing.
Personally, I'd like to see a chapter 2, where there is no dialog but only the actions by the characters is written. I think this would be tough to do. You would have to explain where and how Susan were sitting; the expressions on their faces, and the hand movements. You would have to describe Cho's entrance, and the physical reaction of everyone to her presence.
| BJH chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
Interesting style, nothing but dialogue with no scenery or description.
The lack of sentence tags to show who was speaking got a bit confusing sometimes. When it was just a back and forth between two people, Harry and Susan, or Harry and Cho, it was fine and flowed easily, however, when a third party was introduced, such as when Susan started speaking again at the end, it became confused. I didn't get who was speaking for a moment and that caused me to have to stop and interruppted the flow of the dialogue. I think a brief tag to intro a new speaker or when the conversation goes beyond a back and forth between two people should be used.
| Kessanch chapter 1 . 10/4/2004
A great one shot :) I loved it
Everyone seems to look past Susan Bones, but I have a feeling she's going to be important, I mean she is one of the only chanracters mentioned in PS/SS that we know nothing about.
Anyway keep up the great writing