|Reviews for Disclosure|
| Wolfman-053 chapter 14 . 9/21/2012
Spade One was the callsign Robbie used in Hunt for Red October, and was probably related to the squadron he was flying with at the time, VF-41 Black Aces.
| Shadow of Flame chapter 8 . 9/26/2011
Literally just finished Patriot Games a few hours ago... and already love the Ryanverse. I can see Jack and Jack as old friends... does Cam not exist in this?
| Chris7221 chapter 28 . 7/12/2011
I have mixed feelings about this story. I didn't love it, but I really enjoyed some parts, and didn't like others as much.
First off, the setup and background. Actually, this was pretty good. The years were fudged a bit, sure, but it seemed believable enough. Having O'Neill in charge of the SGC and the Goa'uld the main enemy a year after the series ended is totally excusable considering the publishing date. I noticed only the Prometheus was mentioned, however. Don't you think they would continue to build starships? There didn't seem to be any mention of Atlantis- was that not part of your fanon, too secret, or mentioned off-screen? I would also like to point out the sorry state of body armour in your fic (like canon and EVERY OTHER FIC SAVE FOR A FEW). However, given that this story does not revolve around ground combat, I guess I can drop that one.
All right, serious now. It wasn't horribly painful to read, but this story had some issues. The lack of discernible breaks was probably the biggest issue. I'm not sure if they existed at the time, but the editor on this site can add full-width dividing lines. There were some titles dividing sections, but they were not italicized, bolded or otherwise accentuated. No doubt there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but I don't remember any so I don't think that's a problem. I think there were also a few canonical or factual inaccuracies, but again I don't remember any of them, so I'm going to say that's not a problem. At times I was a bit confused as to what was going on, but that wasn't too bad. Try to make it a bit more clear next time.
The characters felt, I don't know how to describe it, I think I would say a bit 'loose'. They were too outgoing, and too casual. I see you were trying to get across how amazed they were, but really it just made them sound like idiots. I can't help you fix this one- I'm not good at writing dialog either. Although mine typically end up bad the other way- too stiff and formal.
Lastly, I think you should have ended on Chapter 25. Maybe I'm just biased against ship, but the last three chapters didn't add to the story at all. I would even go as far as to say they detracted from it. They kiss once, stunning everyone, and walk out into the moonlight. Picture-perfect ending. Adding more just bloats out the story.
So, overall, I would say this is a decent story, but not a great one. You integrated the new President and his universe fairly well and in a believable fashion. That alone is quite an accomplishment. On the flipside, it was kind of hard to read and a bit unclear at times. The story also had extraneous shipping at the end. But, you know what? I enjoyed it. No, it didn't have huge battles, and no, they didn't make Sam into a cyborg supersoldier, but it was a pretty good read nonetheless.
| carick of hunter moon chapter 28 . 10/2/2010
very good crossover story, with a good story arc, which is well written, the dialog of the characters of SG1 is believable as is the way they are portrayed, but what is nice about this story is that your own voice as a writer come across, in telling it.
Thank you for your story
| MrEmperor chapter 28 . 1/10/2010
This was just what I needed. Thanks.
| Phantom1s chapter 28 . 10/11/2009
I just finished the story and I loved it. Great job and keep up the good work.
| Hazmatt chapter 27 . 9/11/2009
Amazing chapter! Absolutely perfect! I really enjoyed it!
| Hazmatt chapter 26 . 9/11/2009
Great chapter! I really enjoyed it! The ending was brilliant! I loved it!
| Hazmatt chapter 25 . 9/11/2009
Adorable chapter! I really enjoyed it! Perfect! Absolutely amazing! I loved it!
| Hazmatt chapter 24 . 9/11/2009
Amazing chapter! I really enjoyed it! Absolutely perfect! I loved the insight these men offered!
| Hazmatt chapter 23 . 9/11/2009
I'm glad that Sam's awake and okay! I really enjoyed this chapter! Perfect!
| Hazmatt chapter 22 . 9/11/2009
Incredible chapter! I really enjoyed it! Very insightful! Brilliant!
| Hazmatt chapter 21 . 9/11/2009
Oh wow! That's gotto be so hard to hear! I hope Sam will be okay! Way to go on her part of getting the fleet mobilized and calling for the evac! She probably saved a lot of lives!
| Hazmatt chapter 20 . 9/11/2009
Wow! Amazing chapter! Very intense! I hope Sam will be okay!
| Hazmatt chapter 19 . 9/11/2009
Wow! Very intense! I hope Sam and the other injured will be okay! Perfect!