|Reviews for Memory|
| Rose7 chapter 59 . 3h
Okay, I know that if I try to leave a review for all 33(!) chapters I have missed, I will never finish, so I apologize that I am covering them not-at-all-adequately in this single review. But I followed the story, so from here on out you shall have my full attention!
You have truly created your own world here, in the best way. It's expanded and enhanced and enriched beyond the bounds of what an admittedly simplistic Star Wars RPG from 2003 could ever hope to be, and I honestly think that you could take this entire thing and file the serial numbers off and pull a serious Fifty Shades of Grey (except good.) But it also works amazingly on another level when I know the KotOR foundations, so who knows. TL;DR: You're an awesome writer. :)
I remain forever flattered that you thought enough of Lydie to make her stand here shoulder to shoulder among all your other creations. I really loved the bits you did about her very brief childhood on Iridonia too.
I think I have said many times before how much I love all the Mandies throughout here-Canderous and his wives, Oerin-but it is worth saying again!
Poor Carth, I love how long and hard he tries, though it just seems impossible from the outside looking in (or are we the inside looking out?)
OMG, the Jedi protest signs. I should not have laughed, but I did.
I love the reminder of how Yuthura went and perverted Mekel and Dustil's friendship-of course that is what the Sith would do, as opposed to the Jedi, who would just frown and be like, "Nobody make any friends ever!"
You do a mean Canderous! I feel like I knew that once, but I am reminded again. You do him really well! How did we never let you take a crack at him during RP?
Ooo, revived Oerin, yay! You do possession very well, so glad to see you are leaning on your strengths. :)
Carth's note was perfect.
I love all the shorter scenes you do, I need to do more of them. I think RP got me too much in the habit that every scene needs to be like 10 pages long, and they don't-they can be lovely and/or functional quick snippets and be just as effective.
Deeka! Deeka and Vrook! I can't speak coherently about how much loved that. Love love love that he justified it by trying to improve her mind.
Oh, I love the bit about how Lydie is comforted by having Marla nearby, since she's a relative (even if they aren't that close and she isn't supposed to have relatives.)
ROFL, love the meldrama of the Unofficial Coruscanti Underground Version!
I read Oblivion before this, and fell in love with Davad, so glad to see him taking a more active role in these more recent chapters.
Gah, poor Millifar. Revan's seemingly empty promises are of course no comfort.
Oooo, Thalia/Lydie! It totally worked.
Jopheena - Nayama! And the Temple falling down... you never even mentioned that you did it first, haha.
OMG Thalia's advice to Azen, perfection.
LOL I think you are the first person to think of Kreia as a mechanism to making sense. ;) But it works!
I love how you've built up Revan's family, both blood and extended and fake. It's very Star Wars-ian for one family to be this important/interconnected in the fate of the galaxy.
The Fragment is such a cool concept.
Oh, Malak, and Malachi, and Malak's new hope with Sheris.
Love how you're using Marla.
Oh my gosh, when Lydie woke up, and Azen told her, loved that. The ending, the bit about how she's always the one expected to stop Mekel, HAH.
I am just stunned by your plottage. How you keep track of so many threads and make them all equally compelling and pay off in the end astounds me. I feel like my plottage is kindergarten crayon scribbles next to yours.
DUSTIL/MEKEL. As inevitable as the sunrise. 3
Loved how you handled Marla's death. I know you said you weren't sure about it, but I think chapter 44 was worth it.
Korrie remains one of the best written kids in fandom.
Oooo, I love ruthless Senator Azen Loanin. Hah, Lydie Loanin does sound ridiculous, or at least not as formidable... I love how you retain her sweetness, their age and knowledge differential. I could totally see her as a politician's wife. Reminds me a little of when she and evil Mekel were trying to play house for a while in Dussion.
The Blaises! I love how effortlessly you bring all these elements into your own fic, like they were always a part of it and we borrowed them instead.
Oh, man, Lydie, I don't know if you want to cheat on Senator Loanin, I don't think he will take it as well as he might in other universes...
The duels! I loved them.
You are bringing us up to KotOR2 so beautifully, I love that.
HAH, Azen sending Mekel to Hoth, of course. I love their plan to use everyone as bait. Also horrified. But mostly love.
Can't wait to see Katarr!
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 59 . 9/24
As always a good full chapter. Korrie always getting into trouble. And for a moment I always tend to forget that the true Revan isn't on Kaas but her copy/clone. Dustil is getting dark...very dark and I don't think it's a complete act either. And poor Carth... getting possessed more and more often. interesting that you have switched things around it had been Dustil possessed but now it's Carth.
| ether-fanfic chapter 59 . 9/23
I really love this chapter. It's a lull chapter, a catch-up on Kaas - but coming off the back of the showdown in progress on Katarr, you've managed to make it thoroughly enthralling, and that's no mean feat after the last 2 chapters of 'holy crapppp what's going to happen on Katarr!'
Really good to catch up with Carth, Dustil and Polla, and the time line framework works exceptionally well. The slow unveiling of how the virus has been released is great- and we still aren't sure about Carth.
The chapter being bookmarked by Korrie is a nice way to give us a quick look over on Korrie- Deralia is surprisingly good for him. And he might actually have some friends now - all because he was in possible danger. That's Deralians for you - suddenly he is one of them haha.
(Given Korrie's potential future political career, this might actually be good news for Deralia).
The ending seems a real defining point. Korrie the Eg is transforming into Kore the Deralian. And although I don't believe that is his final iteration (although who knows) - Deralia will become part of him now. It's an interesting arc - and a real growing-up moment. Interesting that a former Sith assassin played such a role in it.
The main thread here has to be Dustil's inexorable descent. Not that there's any other choice but to embrace being Darth Malak - but the problem is that the black cape starts to fit too well. And Dustil doesn't realize it's not so much of an act anymore.
I've got a bunch of favourite lines in this, but my overall one is 'Lord Malak would probably shove a feasibility study up the Emperor's infinite ass.' Ha ha ha.
Great to see Yuthura in the picture again. And Three. Y'know I've been loving the showdown on Katarr, but after this chapter I'm all like 'Revan, kill Davad already and haul arse to Kaas!'
As always, can't wait for more.
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 58 . 8/19
Rather interesting chapter. Sorry I didn't review earlier...darn Fan Fic didn't alert me to this chapter. I am in horror about Kavar. I like him. Is Meetra going to be making an appearance? I am just curious. Davad and Revan's history intrigues me. Poor Carth looks like he's caught in a rough spot.
| ether-fanfic chapter 58 . 8/13
This chapter feels like a countdown, with flashes of history all the way along. I love seeing scenes from Davad's POV, especially ones from Oblivion. There's this fatalistic sense of impending doom- Revan doesn't believe the trap will work, and Davad's compulsion has an inevitable feel to it- until, sure enough, Revan runs.
Mekel's trip is a hilarious break in the flight.
And, through it all, Kreia the mastermind. I love that Nihilus was determined Revan would understand this first.
I don't see the mandalorians firepower doing anything as they race into the acid sea, but it's a classic end to the scene. And I can't wait to read what happens next.
As for Kaas - man, Carth's in a bad place. Dustil has spent weeks masquerading as Malak, and is doing too good a job of it. His eyes- oh that's an ominous note to end on. I'm worried for him.
As always, a truly enjoyable read.
| maartenvervloet chapter 11 . 8/11
to be fair, I usually consider Rahesia to have died during the attack on Dantooine (except in the one fic in which I have Meetra Surik realise that the Jedi Order can only banish people from the Order, not from the Republic, and join the Republic Armed Forces as its commander; as in that fic she actually beats the Sith above Dantooine, I suppose Rahesia survives)
| ether-fanfic chapter 57 . 7/27
I love the framework of this chapter, that way it borders around Nihilus in the now, and Davad in the past. As much as I'm looking forward to catching up with events on Kaas, I'm so invested in seeing how Katarr ends. Davad truly strikes a tragic figure - somewhere, in an AU in my head, there's a verse where he's redeemed back to the Jedi Knight he could have been.
For all that the focus is narrowing down to Nihilus vs Polla-Revan, I like that you've paused to make a real moment between Kavar and Davad. While I have no hope of Kavar's survival, his drive and belief in himself to challenge the Beast-King - and the imagery as the two engage - is superb. You've brought the Onderon culture to life, much like you have with the Mandalorians.
I've said it before, but I'll shout-out to Mical and Atris as well, especially Mical. I believe I once told you I've never particularly been interested in the K2 Sith Lords until reading Memory - well the same is true, but even more so, of Mical. He's not a wet-blanket here, and instead a genuine good guy with his own steel core and perception.
Still, I'm waiting for Kreia to strike back.
Someone's gotta get Kreia in the end. I have no idea who! Meetra has barely been in the story... although I simply love that she's another Sunrider scion. I don't even have any theories on how Kreia gets her comeuppance... except that I don't believe she has, quite yet. (I've been wrong before though, hah.)
And loved the last scene, too. I spent the chapter in Davad's camp and averse to Malak, but the final scene reminds me how much I like your Malak, too.
...THE END GAME IS NIGH! I can't wait.
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 57 . 7/25
18k words. Man when you write...you write a lot. lol Anyway...so much to grasp. So Nil/Davad had feelings and a relationship with Revan. Oooh...
I think it's foolish to pit one Force sucking monster against another. They could either join each other or one will drain the other of their energy and end up becoming an even bigger threat. The only one who could finish Nil is Meetra. With her not being there...well Katar is screwed.
| Telsia chapter 56 . 7/2
Review attempt #125. Well maybe not that many times but I'm almost starting to lose counts of the times I thought about doing this and somehow it didn't happen. Sadly it been a busy month so I apologies for being way too late.
Going to do a double review of both this chapter and the last since I struggled too many times to review the last one on it's own. There are tons of small moments in it that I found amusing, like the casual way Revan just goes to nap and tell them to wake her up once they taken over the ship or the conversation between "Dar" and Revan. Those had to be very awkward conversations. I didn't notice it in chapter 55 but some of Revan's thoughts under the big landing (will get to it later) in chapter 56 made me wonder if the other Revan had made her feel a bit insecure about herself.
It really can't be all that fun to meet an old version of yourself when you suffer from amnesia. At least not when the older version is pretty judgemental and calls you a fragment. Your Revan can be pretty complicated to deal with, even when the person dealing with it is Revan herself.
I think I have a pretty solid grasp on what's going on with Revan and the Mandalorians by the way but the Dromund Kaas thing still confuse me a tiny bit. Not entirely sure what's going on with Polla and Carth so I don't have too much to say about that but I imagine I will sooner or later figure it out. Still I do enjoy the chance to view a actual Sith society as said. It's a bit different from normal fallen Jedi/Sith lords.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I have a sort of love/hate relationship to Mandalorians and your Mandalorians are no different. Millifar amuse me quite a bit. She has some really bad ideas but since she's not in command those doesn't bother me so much. Instead her bored or sometimes annoyed attitude toward what's going on or the things she probably doesn't understand (Jedi, Republic, larger picture) just makes me smile. Aemelie on the other hand I have a bit of a problem with. She's competent but really have a bit too much Mandalorian in her for me to like her all that much.
One thing I almost missed until the reread was the ship name they are on. Harbinger, as in the Harbinger that originally picked up the Exile and had Darth Sion on it? I imagine the story is not heading that direction at all but I wonder if it's the same ship. Speaking of Darth Sion and Nihilus I can't it but when I read their parts I constantly am reminded of children who are out on a trip on their own for the first time or something. There is just something slightly child like in how they talk to each other. Don't get me wrong though. If that was a children's trip it would be a very twisted, evil, creepy one straight out of a Stephen King novel or something.
Finally the big thing from these chapters that really stood out for me though was Dak/Revan and the Jedi landing the ship. The first time through I thought there was almost something darkish in Dak's behavior and he wasn't very Jedi like at times but honestly when rereading his parts I completely changed my mind about that. Yes he is angry but really he has more then enough reasons for it. Revan or the mandalorians on her behalf broke out of a cell and invaded a Republic ship after all. and despite that he stays calm the entire time and doesn't really lash out. So no dark side detected there!
My favourite part though by a huge mile in these two chapters was the landing of the ship by the Jedi. I really, really liked that part so I have left it to the end because I half expected this entire review might just be one long rambling about how much I liked it. It's quite rare to see authors delve into the more spiritual side or personal connection when using the force beyond just the flashy effects if that makes sense but I always like it a lot when they do. Even then though it's usually just exploring one person's perspective when opening up to the force and I can't remember ever reading anything like this when many Jedi do something similar but *together*.
I especially liked this line at the end. "None of them Nightmares and all of them hers. Hers. Not Polla's or Revan's, but hers." It's what made me wonder if Revan had felt a bit insecure about who she actually was after meeting her older self. Even if she is just as real or perhaps more so I imagine she might not felt that way after meeting the older version.
Really though, watching the Jedi come together in guiding the force as one really drives home the point that there is a deeper meaning of the Force to me. It's something the Jedi often discuss but it's not seen very often because it doesn't impact their day to day life but there is something more to it then just flashy lightsabers and staying away from falling to the dark side. The light really does have a deeper meaning or identity of it's own, it's just more subtle or not as in-your-face as the dark side.
Also the after conversation between Dak and Revan was very touching. The one problem though is that I can't imagine a worst situation then what they just did with Nihilus on the way, or just entering orbit around the planet. Did they all preform a miracle just to die? It's going to be very depressing when/if that happens and now I also worry about how Revan could possibly make it off the planet!
At any rate going to leave it there for now. Again sorry for super late reviews. I'm still reading. Also plan to review Oblivion just reviews haven't worked for me for some reason lately. I have to stop being lazy after work but even if I'm not I just want to say I'm reading the chapters and I will review eventually!
| ether-fanfic chapter 56 . 6/27
When I think of Davad's arc/devolvement through this story (and Oblivion), it's been fantastically tragic. I've said it before, but I love how you've portrayed the Sith Lords. I have a real sense of sadness(?) about both Davad's and Oerin's spiral into Sith Lordness - you've turned Nihilus and Sion into two real, tormented characters instead of just bad guys- to the point where part of me doesn't want them to die. Even though Nihilus is about to suck the life out of an entire world.
The fact that I'm going to be sad about their (assumed) end is the mark of a thoughtful and brilliant writer.
The same applies for Malak, too. Perhaps even more so.
And you know I've been waiting for the Katarr showdown with bated breath. I don't know what I want to see more in the next chapter - the outcome on Kaas or Katarr. The tension is killing me :)
The chapter overall is a great piece of tension building up, the mandos, the Republic, Rensha, Revan, the Jedis down below - interspersed/contrasted with the childish naivete of Korrie/Leeshy - although their arc has it's own undertones that are chilling. The casual way Leeshy mentions that Dummy Phin has met his end - because those deaths ARE casual to them, growing up as Egs. I hope Korrie has a better, safer life after all of this. I wonder if the Revan of old realized the sorts of scars this type of upbringing would place on Korrie's soul.
And Mekel is always great to check in with. He always makes me snigger. I loved when he told meditating-Azen he was fracking his wife. I can't wait for Dustil to find out Mekk is still alive... it HAS to happen!
Finally - the part when Revan joins with the Jedi in landing the ship - that was breathtaking. Such a contrast of how she normally uses the Force. It was a very powerful scene of the light side of the Force, the inter-connectedness it has with everything. I love how it affected both Revan and Dak.
I hope Revan gets a moment with Vrook, although the imminence of Nihilus arriving makes me doubt the moment will be long. I'm also curious as to what Sion is going to do, arriving near Mandalorians.
And Lena and the twins... what do they have to do with things? What's going to happen with Kreia and Atris? And Meetra? So many unanswered questions still, it's great. I can't wait to read more.
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 56 . 6/27
So much going on. Somehow I think trying to trap Nil is going to end badly. Still have so many questions like what happened with Carth? Sheris? Pollie?
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 55 . 6/5
I really loved the rancor fights in this. They were full of action and exciteing to say the least. Poor Carth tries to get involved and gets possesed. Argh! He's going to be feeling Polla's punches later. Poor guy. Yea I like musical titles and I often listen to music for inspiration for my chapters as well.
| ether-fanfic chapter 55 . 6/2
There's been so much leading up to this point, seeing it come together on Kaas has been fantastically horrible. (Horribly fantastic? Hah, you know what I mean. Fantastic but horrible for the protagonists!) The rancor fight... with Sheris-Revan defeating the first one with sheer duelling skill, grit and intelligence - in contrast, as pointed out, Polla-Revan would have just fried it... and of course that was Sheris-Revan once, not the personality but the power... being so much weaker in the force must be very difficult for her to reconcile with (even though one can't help but realize it's likely a good thing!). Still it makes one sympathize with Sheris-Revan, who is often not a very sympathetic character.
And then... Tenebrae pulls out a bigger, tougher rancor. And the kath crap really hits the fan.
It's a wonderfully horrible way to end the chapter.
Through it all, the dark comedy is a great sideline to the duel - Canderous and his Mandalorians, poor commander Cody, and Leeshy/Leesa... you have this great ability to twist humour in with angst/seriousness... Leesa's ridiculousness is such a contrast from the seriousness of the reactions of others - the fleet commanders etc.
I am curious about where Yuthura will go.
And, as I've already mentioned, I really really love all the Taris nods in this chapter.
It may have been a beast of a chapter, but it's come out really well. Further explanations esp of Kreia' s background here are great, the whole revan/dar conversation in fact.
And Polla... love love love her part to play at the end of this chapter.
And, lastly, the eerie echo of Tenebrae's voice through multiple sents - and all the red eyes - are very creepy.
| Telsia chapter 54 . 5/6
Yay! Loved this chapter. Just to get it out of the way right away I read maybe 20 chapters or so originally years ago so I had a vague memory of the story and then I started reading the new chapters around chapter 48 or so since I just like your writing a lot. ;)
Was confusing for a bit, all my fault, but this was the first chapter I was being able to follow entirely and I *think* I fully understood all of this chapter at least! If not I apologies in advance.
At any rate with that out of the way I think this might be the first time I felt sympathy for Atris. When reading the conversation between her and Kreia I get the impression that Atris subconsciously can feel that something is wrong and I almost get the impression that some part of her is struggling to 'wake up' or see it but she can't shake off what I assume is Kreia's influence. I fully believe Kreia have the force here but hiding it, even if she doesn't I'm still 100% she knows what she's doing and that she's manipulating Atris.
I imagine it's going to be a very slow slide down for Atris from here on and she won't know what's causing it until it's way too late. I actually do feel sorry for Atris about that considering she does seem to be motivated by trying to do good but owh well, best of intentions and all that.
Also slightly amusing to read that Davad is Nihilus after reading Oblivion and some of the early chapters again. Not sure how closely you follow the original story but I imagine this must be after Sion and Nihilus turns on Kreia? I wasn't sure but seems most likely that Kreia isn't leading them if she is using Atris to basically strip away the Jedi's defense fleet at Katarr.
Also one thing from this and earlier chapters that I really like is how you portrait the Sith Empire. The Sith Empire just have this side you almost never see since most of the Sith lords tend to be fallen Jedi that falls when they are adults and most of their followers are the army/navy and not civilians. Not so much here though. I mean we get a look at what's honestly just a Sith version of trashy gossip tabloids and it's great.
I especially liked the Sith children/teens? in the earlier chapters. There is something highly disturbing about noble children growing up in a dark side society to literally become little monsters. Still the Blais family are adorable! Scary but adorable.
I really love Revan by the way. The real one or well none-holocron one. It took me a few chapters to start to put together how all that fit but reading Oblivion and then going back to memory actually helped a little. This entire trip in that ship been great although I'm slightly puzzled by how she ended up married to Canderous considering I'm fairly sure she's still thinking of Carth. Again though my fault for skipping ahead.
But really the whole pilot thing, from how she got the ship to how Revan think she actually know how to fly because of her fake memories while Nyla is sitting there freaking out just made me grin. While I like many of your other characters and reading about the other Revan too it's things like this that makes me want to read more about the real Revan and what she's up to.
Or well in a way both are real in a way yes/no? I'm leaning yes. The other one is basically a holocron come to life but still I tend to stick with the original body Revan as the real one and the holocron being the fragment regardless of what the holocron seems to think. ;)
One of my all time favourite scene though was the Jolee/Juhani/Mission 'hallucinations' that made her figure out she was running out of air. Perfect mix of flashbacks from when she killed them and the ghosts dropping hints and slowly letting her know she's in trouble/running out of air. I tend to think of them as real/force ghosts when you write scenes like that for Revan even if Mission probably shouldn't be able to be one. Anyway in my mind I hope they were real and not just hallucinations!
Honestly there are way more things in the last few chapters that stood out for me but I think I will leave it at this for now. This chapter just seemed like a good point to start and I think I will just come back and cover the other parts later rather then try to fit all of my impressions of 5 chapters into one review. I hope you keep it up. Curious to see where all this leads/ends.
| Cute Gallifreyan chapter 54 . 5/3
Hmm...so one Revan one place and the copy on the other. Good for Mekel finding out that Dustil is alive. I sincerely hope this doesn't end badly. I hope for happy endings.