|Reviews for Adoption|
| acemac-rogan chapter 4 . 3/30/2015
tristan didn't make an appearance. : (
| GilmoreGirlsAddict - Rogan Fan chapter 4 . 8/8/2011
please update now
| JJsMommy27 chapter 4 . 8/14/2010
You so need to finish this story to i would like to see when Tristan comes into the picture so please update it soon.
| mcb1 chapter 2 . 7/31/2010
Great story but I am from California and its my pet peeve when people can California Cali. People just don't say that here. That would be the only thing i would change though.
| princetongirl chapter 1 . 9/13/2005
loved it update soon
| lukelaiandroryndean chapter 4 . 7/5/2005
thats really good, you just might want to put empty lines between each thing the person says to make it easier to read, but its an awesome story, please update soon! :)
| music4mysoul chapter 4 . 3/17/2005
This is a great story, you should update soon, but I hope this won't be a narcofic cause, ughh I hate Dean! Anyways, keep writing !
| audreybabie chapter 4 . 10/16/2004
I'm with Bluedancer you need to explain and describe things more, it's really confusing, how does she know dean? and why r u continueing to use dean as a charecter blah blah.
I think it would be a great story! it just needs to be explained in so much more depth!
| bluedancer chapter 1 . 10/15/2004
Hey, i just though i'd give you a little constructive cristism.
the plot, though used a lot, could be good, however, a few things you might want to work on.
your story (what i've read so far, being the prolouge and a bit of the first chapter) leaves me with a lot of questions- why is dean in california, why is he going to stars hollow, why does rory (leigh) know about stars hallow, and does lorelai know anything about stars hallow? aren't stars hallow and cali fairly far away? has rory been there before? who is leigh's adopted parents? does she have any siblings? what's her relationship with them?
All of these questions are from the first chapter alone. i feel like you could explain so much more, and make it much more intersting, instead of leaving the reader with so many unanswered questions. in the part i read of the the next chapter (just the first little bit really, before she talks to lane) i already have a million more questions. what was it like when she met lorelai? what are the tensions there? wouldn't that be an odd meeting? what about the whole question of why the gave her up for adoption? has that just not come up yet, or what?
i feel like you aren't setting up the relationship for all the characters as much as you could. when reading through some of the rest of the chapter, i see that a few of my questions were answered, but i feel like they need to be answered sooner, when the reader is going to be asking them. i think that the story and your writing has a lot of potential though, just so you know, i don't constructly criticize stories i think are crap. so yeah, just wanna make sure you know i don't think your story's crap, i think it's on a great track. soo, yay :D