What a great story. It was fun to see the interplay between all of the characters and I felt like you did a fairly decent job of jamming a lot of developments into a story that ends up at only 64k words long. It's actually a really impressive feat in many ways due to the sheer scope of characters that are present in the story.

The only criticism I have is that the Motoko/Keitaro romance should have been a bit more developed than it was in two key areas. The first was that I didn't feel that the jump from Motoko's earlier dismissive behavior to being attracted to Keitaro was entirely believable. I think you could have solved this with a few more interactions between the two. The parts where you did this well was when Keitaro did something or undertook an action that shattered or ran counter to Motoko's class based prejudices. Given the dramatic turn about Keitaro's "past" I think that was a nice bit of foreshadowing and could have been developed more (It was a strong part of the narrative).

Secondly, after the "big reveal" I think it would have been good to throw Motoko int'o a crisis of conscious about how she treated Keitaro earlier in the story. This would have really provided her with some much needed character growth that would have made her growing affection for Keitaro more palpable to the reader.

Personally I feel that these are minor quibbles given how excellent this work is compared to most fanfiction works, but I only point them out because you have demonstrated exceptional skill at writing and plotting. I mean that last point - the plotting in this story is excellent, it's clearly a strength of yours. If you could bring that strength forward to character development as well, then you'd be hitting everything on all cylinders as they say.

Anyway, one again - great story and I thank you for writing it. I enjoyed it immensely.

bravo, bravo, an amazing story if i do say so myself

NIVREMOUS... BE PROUD OF AWESOMENESS, THE BEST FAN FIC I HAVE READ SO FAR AND I HAVE READ MY SHARE, THE ENDING WAS... XD... AWESOME.

MY GOD ... THE SHEER AWESOMENESS OF IT ALL... IM SPEECHLESS AND UTTERLY IN SHOCK.

!HOLY SHIT! i got the a feeling of impending doom... ALL HELL IT GOING TO BREAK LOSE AND I CAN,T WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

aw...i had to read the whole story in one sitting didn't i T_T it was too good, best love hina fanfic i've read. wished i saviored it a bit lol

Great story. It was really funny and yet sad at the same time.

Nice story! :)

i absolutely love your story! _ having keitaro/motoko was also a big plus since they are my favorite pairings. will you be writing any more stories with keitaro/motoko?

This story is without a doubt one of the best stories I've ever read. Keep up the good work

its good

Absolutely magnificent. There were some noticeable typos (for example, the plural of samurai is samurai, not samurais), but the story more than made up for it. Excellent work.

I read this story today all of it. It was a great fic I was engrossed by the concept. I would of loved to have seen more keitaro/motoko but that is the small complaint. Great Job

Wow... there's not much i can say that will show what i feel after reading this... you have my respect.

i hope you will continue your good work...

Adios for now...

Whoa! Intense! Beautifully crafted, wonderfully written! An amazing plot and characters. I truly enjoyed reading this fic and it kept me glued for hours on end simply because i wanted to know the ending. Thank you for writing such a beautiful fic!