|Reviews for A Bludger to the Gut|
| MargieLuvv chapter 1 . 2/22
This was AMANAMAMAZING!
| riverrat chapter 1 . 5/3/2013
Another beautiful fanfic of yours. I know I have said it before in reviews of your other stories, that I can see Severus in every word you are writing. I can see all the pain, neglect, regret, and sorrow in this oneshot. Somebody PLEASE give that wonderful man a hug.
| Seren Flaidd chapter 1 . 11/13/2012
This is inspiring, brave and fierce. I have just deleted my review three times trying to find the words that match how this made me feel.
The first person is as brilliant as you always write Severus. I believe it's his thoughts, his mind. He is real. That's brilliant.
THEN, I feel like there is a second voice absolutely blazing through it (yours/a narrator/my own addition?) A voice that is genuinely burning with anger for the horrible bullying, mocking and self-confidence destroying attacks of 'The Marauders' (and their counterparts across the world who make The Marauders horrible behaviour so recognizable to children and adults alike).
This is a different voice to Severus's, who hopes that at least the people who stood and laughed at him thought he was 'just slovenly' and not a child neglected and made to feel unloveable by his own parents...
"The shame of being displayed half-naked and helpless in public with your oldest dingiest unmentionables on view. Did anyone realise what it said about my home life, about the neglect I lived under? I think, I hope, they all thought I was just slovenly. Better that than know how little I was valued even by my parents."
That children can be so cruel, that lives can be shattered without the slightest awareness of the harm being done. That any parent can let their child grow up believing that they are of no value, uncared for to the point when they are a source of mockery to other children.
I find it very hard to write about Severus Snape, but I want to, passionately, after reading this.
Also, it reads like poetry. The repeat of 'he hired Lupin' circling as such thoughts surely do in any human mind, and the honestly of it is brilliant. It flows like thoughts and the words are fluid and great, but I'm assuming you have been told that an awful lot of times by now, since you wrote this eight years ago.
I've never seen much mention of Finch before - who is treated like he is sub-human and a figure of fun (in my opinion).
You didn't have Severus consider that Dumbledore hired Remus that year, specifically because Sirius had escaped from Azkaban, which I had always seen as a given, which Severus would have picked up on at once.
As for hiring Lupin... Remus believes Sirius murdered, or brought about the murder, of James, Peter and Lily. ALL his closest friends. He spied for Voldemort for years, betrayed countless others, and has currently broken out of prison to try and murder a thirteen year old orphaned child Remus is meant to care about. Yet he STILL barefacedly hides the fact that Sirius is an animagus and knows a direct route into Hogwarts from Honeydukes, which pretty much guaranteeing that he will be able to get to Harry and kill him, if he wants to. Lupin IS dodgy, and (IMHO) I think Severus is one of the only people who does realise it.
"How can he trust the one who ever had his conscience in Black's keeping? Who knew what was right but so feared losing the friendship he let pass what was wrong? Lupin, the weakling!"
I thought this was a brilliant line, although I don't entirely accept it.
I can't remember exactly if Remus laughs out right, chuckles or just grins when he describes Sirius sending Severus to be attacked by his werewolf form, but he certainly doesn't sound eaten up with guilt about it. Personally I got the impression Remus was more annoyed about the danger Sirius had put Remus in than sorry for Severus, and that in general Remus looks after Remus.
I thought it was interesting that Severus sees Remus as Sirius's 'little lapdog' and I wondered if that was your own view or only how you believed Severus felt at that moment.
Only in re-reading it did I also notice that I very much like the way the energy flows through the piece. Starting off with blazing anger, sort of rocketing about through misery and memories, and gradually calming down into planning the future and how to deal with the news. All looped together with the repeat of 'He hired Lupin. Lupin!" This felt so natural, the way thoughts do work themselves out after a piece of shocking news, rather than the more unrealistic building up to a punch line or explosive ending, which doesn't generally happen in reality.
| Angie chapter 1 . 5/20/2012
| ilurandir chapter 1 . 4/23/2012
Normally I dislike first person in all things - fanfiction and novel. It has to be done well, and this is done well. His snarkiness made me grin from time to time, and you do seem to have his fondness of wordy flourishes down to a T.
| wokanshutaiduo chapter 1 . 12/11/2011
T.T poor Severus! Constantly shortchanged, isn't he?
| Librasmile chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Okay I don't know if this makes much sense ( and I've probably already reviewed this before ) but this story brought tears to my eyes. It's just so dead on perfect emotionally.
Oh and I should have left a review for Turncoat but BRAVO! I'm not completely convinced that Lupin would be that cunning - he just doesn't seem to have enough energy or backbone - but if anybody could make it plausible you can. I'd love if you expanded that story.
| notwolf chapter 1 . 1/18/2011
This is really heartbreaking, because you can hear the pain behind his words, the torment he suffered at Black's hands for years, the fear of what may yet come.
I liked his line about Lupin, although having a monster inside, has so little strength of character. And Lupin showed it as a student by allowing his friends to torture Snape mercilessly, even when he was a prefect. And now-can anyone blame Snape for wondering if Lupin is still in league with Black, the presumed killer?
| Jeannine chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
This is probably the best fan fiction that I have ever read. I love the in-depth feeling that you engender with this. It really hits home, and gives so much insight into Snape's character!
| Swallow B chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
Good. Yes, that would be what he was thinking. Some good insights here.
| waterside chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
An exciting rare glimpse into Snape's mind - something that we never get in canon. Very convincing and poetic. I find it especially sad because I think Hogwarts is the closest thing Snape has ever had to a real home, and Dumbledore is the closest person that the adult Snape has to a family or a friend; and yet Hogwarts is full of bad (disturbing, humiliating, haunting etc.) memories for him, while Dumbledore can turn out to be just a boss/commander when Snape would need a human being.
| darkangel1710 chapter 1 . 2/10/2009
You are a very good author, and I liked this fic.
| Matt Quinn chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
I like this one. Very well-done and the repetition of "He hired Lupin" is very poetic.
| hermionewuvswonwon chapter 1 . 9/19/2007
Yes, he hired Lupin.
Lupin, whose knowledge of combating the Dark Arts landed him in an exclusive anti-terrorist cell.
Get over it, Snape. You spied against Voldemort. Can't you keep a tight sphincter near Lupin?
Look what happens when you sneak around after dark. You meet a Dark Creature, and are secretly terrified of him the rest of your life.
| angelcarver chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
Severus must have been poopin' after Dumbledore hired Remus explosively, I inagine. Fear does tend to give one loose bowels, especially when reliving memories of almost getting eaten by a Dark Creature.