Reviews for Stray
icekrim91 chapter 9 . 5/21/2009
interesting story, can't wait to know why Ino just snap like that...keep it coming
cristwelrine chapter 9 . 7/13/2008
I fail to see why you cringe when reading this story , its one of the most original storys i have ever read , and ai read thousands of naruto storys . add the fact that you made it 4 years ago and its still so pleasent to read would make one think that hes got a gold mine here waiting to be way you were going with the story suggests that naruto will be leaving akatsuki and going back to konoha , while the yr struggle to convince naruto to stay is amusing yet pathetic from theyr part. Also the way you made Tsunade his grandma for real and not making the yondaime the linking but the mother was also a very nice change along with the reaction she had to sandaimes letter. Her struggle with with what to do with him is also nice yet a little to little atention given cause there could be a lot more to say with her struggle . also that the village is so quiet about it is a little odd , you could depict how they wanted to kill him or something harmful but thought of the advantage it could give them in the long run, words spoken by the hokage to them . also i guess you thought that when it came to the choice of wheter to stay in konoha or go back to akatsuki depended on the next action taken those 2 akatsuki idiots that came to fire country tried to kill him and thus his decision to stay with konoha was decided or somethin like that . by adding that cloud kunoichi that was with naruto adds the romantic point of view to the story , you said throw her that he wouldnt think much of going killing her if it came to it , yet losing this factor from the story would be detrimental and if in cannon i can barely accept naruto with any of the current girls , i mean cmon there are thousands of girls out there many of them kunoichi also why the hell should he have only 4 girls his age and then pushing it to those 10 his age therefore NarutoOC is also best bby the fact that with cannon girls without going OOC theres is little to do with OC you can do thousands of stuff. Now i know this isnt a romance centric , which is really good cause when talking about akatsuki romance is really not important to be in the spotlight , it can be a great motivator and somewhat of a decision maker especially now that kyuubi isnt making his thoughts shades of grey .

I guess one of the main reasons you put it on hold was cause of the mistake with akatsuki elders and stuff like that , elders and that kind of stuff really doesnt work with S-rank criminals ,thats certain , therefore making it so that if they were kinda tricked and the words of the elders were brought to them through a messenger-pein and could be said that the elder is ...(you know who) therefore when they found out it wouldnt be really a lie cause the mission were coming ffrom the eldeR . second reason would be that which would be akatuskis purpose if naruto is in akatsuki when he should be a target . well ... you said that naruto wasnt invited in akatsuki but was a add-on accesory to itachi could be taken as 'hey if hes at our disposal why not use him to help with our missions and after which when we have all we need we take his demon and if we can refine the sealing process and if hes of use to us keep him alive afterwards.' of course he doesnt have to know the purpose of the organisation yet , he could find out closer to the end when there were few demons left by asking himself if theyr gathering them , then hes a target too and make a little investigation in it .( the extraction would be (in most cases) not fatal , the fatal part being decided if they made a specific move which could prove fatal to the gaara would survive and depending on your plans other or none ) this would be possible if he were to return to akatsuki of course , so lets say he remained with konoha but found out theyr hidden thoughts about him and woke up from 'it was a dream , how foolish of me to believe this illusion'(there was a confronation with Noriko and he remained but now he recalls facts told by her in hope of convincing him to come back(personal reasons and akatsuki driven reasons) , and went back to akatsuki knowing they would accept him back ' strong they may be but they would still stand better as ally than foe .'(the sorts)this is an after thought but lets say it comes to the point when its hes turn to be extracted , why not make it so that there was a lightening of the amoubt of dark thoughts(hormones, hey if itachis doin it no reason for naruto not to get emotionally attached as she said , she never trains with him so that she wouldnt be viewed as a target by him.) and naruto and noriko were an item , shes confronted with worrys(you said she was emotionally scarred so she would treasure dearly her relationship with him .)and be confronted with betrying him and possible killing him or trying to warn him therefore saving him and stuff of the sorts ...

This was my longest review ever written simply because theres great potential here as i sad before , also you wanted ideas where to go with it , some may notbe that original but its an idea from where many other possibilities can pop up at any given point in the plot . what u wrote till now is not horrible at all , just some parts can get you into a difficult position as to what to do now but its worth trying , especially since u get easily bored ( i get too and try to find something interesting all the time (even if now i got to the point where depending on how prepared i am , my entire future is decided T_T) Hope you can find your inspiration as in what to do with this story because it is a real pity to drop it :( . Good Luck and may the wind of inspiration blow your way .
Inarae chapter 9 . 4/12/2008
I like this. A lot. Which I didn't expect at all from the summary (I usually don't like what-ifs, and only read it because I kept seeing it reccomended). But it's pretty darn good. I'm not sure where it's headed, but there's definately a solid plot there. Thanks for writing and sharing
HaganeKyoukan chapter 9 . 12/18/2007
Hey whats up? Still waiting on all those secrets.
The Three Stoogies chapter 9 . 10/1/2007
This is a great story to bad you don't update it anymore.
Death's Remedy chapter 6 . 5/25/2007
So far, it's a great story. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors. Other than that, the story was well written. Keep up the good work.

By the way, Itachi's partner's name is spelled Kisame.
Vellor The Ancient chapter 9 . 3/7/2007
hey, i love this story, i just got around to reading it, but i should have started sooner, good job.
Barranca chapter 9 . 2/27/2007
Heh, sorry to see you have neglected the story, but it's a good read. Nice character development.
Blue Bragon chapter 9 . 2/10/2007
please update I love it like to see their interactions
person chapter 9 . 1/28/2007
hey if u need any help in editing n stuff ... jst contact me ...

other than that guud story !

,v
OLazy1 chapter 9 . 10/29/2006
Great story, I hope you decide to continue it.
horus501 chapter 9 . 10/23/2006
awesome story wish it had been continued
WhiteWolf Kyoko chapter 9 . 10/16/2006
I think this story is awesome! :)
The-Eighth-Sin chapter 9 . 10/8/2006
more please. but to be truthful I don't care all that much about anyone other than Naruto or Noriko.
oscar101 chapter 9 . 10/7/2006
Good story
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