Reviews for My First Time for a Dance
Deathblade Prime chapter 2 . 9/22/2005
Very good two-shot(which means two chaptered stories), I too have that problem. Dancing in public, I'm always afraid of making a complete ass of myself.

Can't wait to see what else is in your bag of tricks.
RexGato chapter 2 . 5/14/2005
I love how you put yourself in the story. The way you do it makes you seem like you have lived in their world long enough to say it was a part of your life.
Killyouguy chapter 1 . 1/6/2005
Very interesting writing style you got there man. You must have a crush on Sam. Don't blame ya. ). But anyways that was good. Keep it up man. Oh, by the way, could you review my other story? It's in Zelda section and it's called A New Tomorrow...I'm putting in the eighth chapter right now, and I'm proud of it. So, if you could do that, it would be awesome. Take care, dude.
capm chapter 2 . 11/12/2004
Nice story. The hardest part of dancing in public is DOING it!
Mr. Honeysuckle chapter 2 . 10/31/2004
Hey Mat. Not too bad...nice and simple. ONe thing I'd love to see though. In a future story I'd love to see you dressed formally for a school or other official event. I don't mind what you've been wearing but, unless something's changed since I've been in high school, most of the time guys wear white shirts with buttons and stuff, I believe. Not a major issue, just an observation. I really look forward to your next game show; I have an idea what it might be, but I'll let you play it out. Bryan
Mr. Honeysuckle chapter 1 . 10/29/2004
This is pretty good, Mat. I can't seem to access the second chapter yet, but this'll do nicely. I especially like how you gave yourself some human qualities in this story, viz, that you have some failings; this isn't a bad thing, but a very good one. One suggestion though, if it'd be alright. There are multiple occurrences of the word "coldly" in a short span. You may wish to avoid this in future chapters. Just a minor tweaking for future chapters should eliminate this issue. Bryan
LaLaLand chapter 1 . 10/29/2004
Okay, don't think of this as a flame, think of it as constructive critisism. I don't think you include enough Clover and Alex, most of this is Sam talking to you. Also I don't think Sam was in character. I mess around with my boyfriend all the time, but I don't hang my head and look like a hurt little animal. And you DO talk a lot about Motocross, but that's just because you like it. I think the chapter was rushed a little bit. Have you ever seen in tv shows how the person invites the other person to the dance, but that person acts all different. They don't just TELL you what's bothering them, you have to find out. Keep bothering them until they crack, that sort of thing. You also turned a little bit cold toward your girlfriend, which was a BAD thing to do. If I were Sam I'd just go with David or someone else.

And remember, this is not a flame. These are pointers. Well, it is sort of a flame. But anyway good story. *cough*
LaLaLand chapter 1 . 10/29/2004
Okay, don't think of this as a flame, think of it as constructive critisism. I don't think you include enough Clover and Alex, most of this is Sam talking to you. Also I don't think Sam was in character. I mess around with my boyfriend all the time, but I don't hang my head and look like a hurt little animal. And you DO talk a lot about Motocross, but that's just because you like it. I think the chapter was rushed a little bit. Have you ever seen in tv shows how the person invites the other person to the dance, but that person acts all different. They don't just TELL you what's bothering them, you have to find out. Keep bothering them until they crack, that sort of thing. You also turned a little bit cold toward your girlfriend, which was a BAD thing to do. If I were Sam I'd just go with David or someone else.

And remember, this is not a flame. These are pointers. Well, it is sort of a flame. But anyway good story. *cough*
Farhan Tre chapter 1 . 10/28/2004
Woah, very nice
just a fanficfan chapter 1 . 10/28/2004
Well, here is your second review so please hurry up and continue this story because all I can say about it ... I love it :P

bye
Gotterdammerung chapter 1 . 10/27/2004
Good writing, but I think you're portrayal of Sam was a little off at times. Most 16-year-old girls wouldn't be that apologetic about joking around with their boyfriends about their hobbies. Try to make your characters a little more human.