|Reviews for One Day Over Wonsan|
| Rabid RENThead chapter 1 . 5/21/2006
I like it
The technical language is a bit hard to understand, but it shows that you know what you're talking about
It's pretty IC, and the radio talking sounds very realistic :3
| Sensational Sista chapter 2 . 5/21/2006
wow! I had just recently read this story's first chapter on another site and was praying it'd have more to it! D It is very very good! .
| no sign of fortress x chapter 1 . 4/28/2005
very interesting fic... it was a good crossover, but at times i got kind of confused. ahh well, good job all the same.
| loco moco chapter 1 . 11/2/2004
wow, that was really good. much applause for such a detailed fic. nice to see Tomo be something other than genki/loud/brash etc...
| MJP chapter 1 . 11/2/2004
Honest opinion? I really didn't like this.
Please don't get me wrong. I've loved Tom Clancy, Dale Brown, Stephen Coonts, etc. since I was about ten years old. I've read a lot of military fiction in my time and I still like it. Techno-thrillers are fun for me. I'm never intimidated by military terminology, complex new things, etc.
I also love anime. Azumanga among it. I have no complaints as to what you've done with the characters' personalities. But still... and this is just my perspective... it feels wrong. Something feels like it was contrived to bring Azumanga Daioh into a technothriller.
Granted, every fanfic author has their own ideas, and I do applaud you for advancing a crossover. However, it felt like it was very forced. We are immediately thrown in and there is no background, no methodology, no comparison to bring Tomo and Yomi into this crossover universe. If this was not a one-shot, we'd have another chance to understand the situation a little better. However, the interaction between Tomo and Yomi seems to be interchangeable... put in a different set of names and it becomes another techno-thriller.
Tactically speaking, you need to set up how they got there, what the situation is, what the target is... this is just an action scene. We have no lead-in, no build-up... this is just a clip. I personally think that this could be rounded out.
All in all, I don't like this the way it is. That doesn't mean I'm disregarding it, though. I see a lot of potential in this. The idea is original and unique. Many may rail against an Azumanga military thriller, but I implore you: work on this, make it better, round it out, and incorporate more of the characters into the story.
I understand if you feel that this is harsh criticism, but I think that anyone who can specify missile loadouts as well as write Azumanga fanfic has the ability to understand constructive criticism when he/she sees it. Please work on this fic and make it better.
Also, it's "Sukhoi," not "Sukhoy."
Please don't abandon a good idea. I for one would like to see what happens in Chapter 2 here.
| X to the Zoltan chapter 1 . 11/1/2004
Unusual for the section, but a very fun read. At times it was a little hard to follow for the technical details, but then, taking time to explain things would probably have ruined the pace. Good close, by the way.