|Reviews for Deliberately Sabotaged|
| Gothic Bunny chapter 28 . 7/27/2014
["SAKURA!" Eriol screamed "MAN YOU SOUNDED A LOT LIKE YOUR LUNATIC BROTHER… unless". "IDIOT, IT'S ME TOUYA" Touya glared at the blurred screen. Everyone inside who were listening tried not to laugh and some giggles were released. Touya glared at them as well as they went back to what they were doing.]
I couldn't stop laughing when I read this!
| Gothic Bunny chapter 25 . 7/27/2014
[Suddenly Fujitaka grabbed the phone beside him and dialed the mental hospital. Tomoyo, Meiling, Eriol and Ryan started screaming frantically around the room with Sonomi, Yelan and Kaho. Touya, Syaoran and Sakura sweatdropped at the sudden reaction from what they heard. Everyone was screaming madly like there was a fire or something.]
Who could blame them for acting this way, if Syaoran and Toya ever did get along it would be the end of the world.
| missyXXanonymous chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
i love it !
| Iluxia chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
Hn... I didn't know you wrote THIS fic. Oh well, it's proving to be a small world indeed.
| Death's Integrity chapter 35 . 3/5/2005
I finally FINISHED reading! WHEE! They're evil man, not leaving 'em some privacy. Anyway great job on this! Gomenasai X-Sprinter-kun, that I did not review during the other chapters, but I liked them and I'm just stating it through this review.
| shortygirl333 chapter 6 . 2/14/2005
You're Filipino, too? How many Filipinos are authors here?
| Pinaygrrl chapter 34 . 2/5/2005
| tread chapter 34 . 1/28/2005
Hi! I can't help but join in the debate... here's my 2.2 cents.
Firstly, I can't see anything wrong with 'Kung Hei Fat Choi'. As far as I can tell (and read) it's all cantonese unless you want to argue with the pinyin translation semantics.
I didn't read your story (mainly because the story didn't interest me - sorry :p) but having read a few paragraphs, I don't see any glaring gramatical mistakes. There are much worse fics written on
As to the grammatical corrections Awai-umi provided, if you feel that they are helpful, you should take them onboard; however if you think they're unconstructive, just ignore them. If you feel you want to rant, you should contact her privately instead of putting up a seperate rant chapter. I think the phrase is - You shouldn't air your dirty laundry in public.
It's your right to write (within the terms of ) whatever the hell you feel like, and you shouldn't let reviewers affect you.
Lastly, one thing I can commend you on is the very thorough disclaimer :)
| Syaoransbear chapter 34 . 1/27/2005
Michael, 'stand up' to awai somewhere else than on here. Chapters based solely on author's notes can lead to the deletion of your story.
I strongly recommend deleting this chapter within a day.
| Meika13 chapter 34 . 1/27/2005
Okay, first of all, I wouldn't tell my friend other than Shauna and she wouldn't do anything about that.
I copied everything I said in here (grammar) from my language book, I just thought that you could have done better. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not saying I am, I even say that I make those mistakes everyday. Not only me. So if you have a problem with me reviewing as a critic and not as a friend. Then I'll stop reviewing all together.
| writers-dream93 chapter 1 . 1/25/2005
Hi! This is a very interesting and well-written story. Hope you update or make another fanfic
| Meika13 chapter 32 . 1/24/2005
Okay, first of all, I'm just going to tell you. Because you NEED to know. This stuff is um...not very interesting. And The Animezing Race is NOT a masterpiece. Let me tell you.
"Flashback from the time Fujitaka and Shoji was talking about politics" Settings that get change interrupts the flow of the story. Why not replace those with sentences with actually meaning.
Second."“Fine shoot me, I care less, your father got what he deserved” Sakura spat back and kept ranting about Kim’s father. Kim had enough and slapped Sakura. “DAMN YOU! Don’t talk about my father like that, it’s your father that mistreated him. He thought that my father tried to make an uprising…” Kim said and then Sakura butted in “YOU’RE WRONG, I have recorded that conversation…"
That should be spaced out to every dialogue. Not when the topic change. It's not like an ordinary paragraph where you change the topic to every paragraph. When you're doin dialogue. It's whenever the speaker is shifted. So in this case. That would be:
"“Fine shoot me, I care less, your father got what he deserved” Sakura spat back and kept ranting about Kim’s father.
Kim had enough and slapped Sakura. “DAMN YOU! Don’t talk about my father like that, it’s your father that mistreated him. He thought that my father tried to make an uprising…” Kim said and then Sakura butted in “YOU’RE WRONG, I have recorded that conversation…"
And try to use more um...intellegent verbs, adjective, adverbs, etc. Because something like, "said and then Sakura butted in" doesn't make the character OR the author sound very well...um...rounded.
And you know for the thingy with the military whatever. Try to skip those and keep the suspense going so that the readers would want to read the new chapter. If you lay everything out for them in silver platter they won't want to read it. You have to keep the suspense flowing. Keep the story flowing. Interruptions like those changes of settings you have totally RUIN the story flow. That's why I don't do it.
Indicate that italic is past or something like that. Blod is something and so on.
And this is for Animezing Race as well...when you change the setting so much it ruins the thing. I saw it and I went, " _ " because I had no idea what you were trying to say. You just kept on changing the setting. Why not stay on two pairs of character per chapter? And don't put "X-Sprinter's POV" Just write. You have to find a way to indicate that in the story, it just ruins the flow!
| Pinaygrrl chapter 31 . 1/13/2005
| Obscure Entity chapter 31 . 1/13/2005
Thanks for updating! This chapter was funny at times but also quite suspenseful. Please continue writing One Million Dollar Woman, that's my favorite but you haven't been updating it very often. Thanks!
| Obscure Entity chapter 30 . 1/7/2005
I'm glad you're back, the last chapter left me hanging and that suicide announcement was extremely disturbing. So, nice chapter and I hope nothing else happens to you. Please update soon!