|Reviews for Book One: Golden Sun|
| Guest chapter 29 . 7/4/2012
I just wanted to say that this is one of the best fan fictions I've ever read. I think it would be great idea if you wrote a boo for the second game
| Mana chapter 14 . 4/10/2012
if you can't do all the side quests you could have felix do some He could chase an escaping Jenna into an area
| TrippyToastersAndABagOfChips chapter 29 . 4/7/2012
I read this ages back, and have only now come around to giving this its much-deserved review. This is also the first review I've ever written on this site, and I can't think of another fic that deserves it more than this one.
This being the only complete novelization of Golden Sun alone makes it awesome, but the fact that it's also well written just makes it even better. Golden Sun has some pretty flat characters, but you do a good job of making them feel realistic. The fact that you invested over two years in this is pretty amazing. I much enjoyed reading this. I was actually a little disappointed when I finished it, because I had made a habit of reading it before bed.
In any case, thank you for writing this, and good luck with whatever you're doing now!
| Twilight Yuna chapter 8 . 10/1/2011
Just a quick note before I read the next chapter: Ivan shouldn't know about the Lost Age. He's an Adept and all that, sure, but he shouldn't know about it. It would make sense if Hammet had done research on the psynergy that Ivan could do, and he just knew a lot of history, but, since Vale was the village protecting the Stars, information about the Lost Age should be completely lost by almost everyone else in Weyard but them.
I think about it like this: Some of the people living close to the lighthouses can use psynergy because of the power it holds. Sure, the power might not be active because of the seal, but the power is still there.
But, since psynergy had been lost in history, they have no idea why they they can do the things that they do - just that they can. I remember next to nothing about the game, so I'm not really sure if the people know about the Lost Age. I'm just going by your version of the story.
Ivan had been raised by a normal family, so he should know everything that the normal people know, except for his little secret mind-reading power. Hence the reason he shouldn't know anything about the Lost Age.
All that probably doesn't make any sense. The point is that Ivan was raised by normal people, and he knows what they know. They DON'T know what psynergy is, so neither does he. People in Imil would have kept Mia's psynergy a secret, so, even if Hammet and Ivan were there, they shouldn't know.
Just one word of advice - Be alert. You don't want to make errors like that again.
| Twilight Yuna chapter 7 . 10/1/2011
Great chapter! I love Ivan's personality (though he was already my favourite character way back when I had played GS). I don't remember his character from the games, but, since I still love him now that I'm reading GS, I guess that means he's perfectly in character.
I'm a bit disappointed, though. I was really hoping that you'd include the djinn, but no matter. I understand why you're not using them. Still disappointing, though.
The fighting part was okay-ish. Or would have been, if my mind didn't keep drifting. I don't usually like fighting scenes - I like reading the dialogue more than anything else. But this one was pretty good, I suppose. I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one.
Oh, one more thing - the one thing that irritates me quite a bit is the fact that you use 'about' a lot. I know it sounds a lot smarter that 'around', but you should use it a bit less. What I do when I notice that I'm using one word too often is search for a word with more or less the same meaning. It doesn't always work, but it helps loads. It's too late to be telling you this now, but it's just something to keep in mind :o)
Now I'm off to read the rest of the chapters. See ya :D
| Adept of the Angels chapter 2 . 9/28/2011
Now this is how I like it. The chapter was great, and I honestly forgot that I was reading a game in a novel form. The dialogue was much better than the first one, and so was the discription.
I liked the arguement between the trio on their way to Kraden - the argument about which type of Adept was the best.
That's really all I have to say. I can't wait to get past Kolima, 'cause that's where the other novelization I'd read ended, and I'd love to see what else you've done with the game.
I'm not gonna review again unless I have something to say. I actually do feel kinda silly to be reviewing a story that's been finished for five years, but what the hay. You might need it sometime. Just in case :o)
| Adept of the Angels chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
Hi, Twilight Yuna, here. I know it's like waaaay late to be reviewing this right now, but I'm gonna do it anyway, cause if you happen to be reading this, you might use my constructive criticism for future reference (or, at least, I hope it's constructive).
So, I've been searching around for a novelization of Golden Sun that's actually finished, and then I found this one. I heven't played the game in years, so I particularly wanted a novelization to refresh my memory before I actually read other fanfics on it.
I'm not that far yet - as you can see, I've only just begun reading it - so I'm not sure what I think about your writing style yet, but so far I like it.
The only things I don't like, however, is the following:
Isaac can't talk in the game, right? He's reduced to simple yes or no sentances. So automatically, you'd have to improvise if you want him to say something. It's only just the first chapter, but I don't think you improvised all that much here - but I'm sure that's only because it's the first chapter. Another half-finished novelization I'd read was also a bit awkward before the author got used to Isaac talking, so I'm positive his diologue would be much better later on.
Another thing I didn't like all that much was Saturos and Menardi's coversation - or, well, not their conversation, more like how you discribed the state they were in. You kept repeating that they were tired, even though you'd already gotten that point across the first or second time you'd said it. Like repition, if I really wanna get all professional-like.
But, like I said - first chapter. Writing improves, mind matures.
I'll review again later, you know, for future referance. You know, just in case you might want it :D
| wow chapter 29 . 9/25/2009
im the first one to review in like two years... other than that great story and i was wondering... are you gonna make a sequal or just leave us in the dark
| Dragon's Tongue chapter 29 . 9/5/2007
It's been a long time since've stayed up all night to read a fanfic, so let me start by thanking you for the necessity. This is quite possibly the best novelization fic I've ever read, and that's with me being a stalwart fan of Magus523. The characterization was nearly perfect, and looking back, I'm not sure HOW I was ever stupid enough to try typing anything GSish before Lost Age came out.
I sincerely hope you return with the sequel one day, but for now I agree that you deserve a long, finger-relaxin' rest. I'll make due in the meantime... I definately need to see more of your stuff, my eyes have their own little break.
Until the next time we meet, in that way only a reader and a writer can, cya!
| conVergence 5 chapter 29 . 4/29/2007
AWESOME STORY! I found while looking around the Golden Sun stories and I saw it was complete so I decided to read it. Best story that I have ever read! Great job on a story well done! And sorry if I'm reviewing for this story so late after it was completed. It's just so good, I had to.
| Dragon Adept chapter 1 . 3/22/2007
O look I have a signed review!
Anyway I was just looking this one over again because I was feeling lonely. It's been awhile since you've written anything, but I still appreciate the work you've already done.
| FireFox chapter 1 . 1/30/2007
WOW! This is awsome! Great job! Whens book 2?
| To lazy to Log in chapter 15 . 10/21/2006
I like this chapter. In fact, Xian is my favorite place in the whole of GS: I, however, you made a cultural mistake in this chapter. Xian is CHINA! Izumo is JAPAN! Kimono are Japanese, not Chinese. Tsuke means 'moon' in Japanese.
Izumo is my favorite destination in GS: II. I admitt, I'm obsessed with Japanese and Chinese history, (Blame my writting buddy 'ThSamurai' for that) which is why I'm being so . . . critical about that culture mistake. 'Chi' is Chinese.
I still liked this chapter. Feizhi is one of my favorite characters in the game!
~*Rose Red2.0*~ (My real user name. I'm to lazy to log in)
| cloudfightback chapter 29 . 10/4/2006
I understand about your last words. I hope that you will do it the next one but I'll understand that you are growing up as a writer. I'm glad that you enjoyed writing. Just like I do. I'm sorry for not reviewing as much as I want to but you know, family problems and stuff like that. Anyway I will leave you and hope that you will carry on being on fanfiction because people respect you for being a writer. I respect you more that you will ever know.
Just like me, writing does take out a lot of you so we need peace and quiet to think it up and recover with all that emtional problems with writing. I can't write because my mind is blocked with all problems I had and stuff like that so I laying my pen down for a few weeks. Get all the system out of my mind then I can continue with my work. I hope that you will read my story and support me with it. After all, it is hard and demending and stuff like that.
Last words now. I hope you good luck with you moving houses, your writing skills to grow more and more and one day, you can take a person under your wings and teach him/her how to write a proper story. If you ever pulish a book, tell me and I will get it to read it to feed my imgamtions (sp) and inspire me to write even more.
Damn, last words once again. I'm getting tired of writing this down so I will say adios until next time. And please, make your dreams come true. (I do sound cheesy, don't i?)
Reply back to this if you can. See-ya later!
| jedigrl2001 chapter 29 . 8/26/2006
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE BEEN GONE FROM THIS STORY SO LONG! *grovels and frantically apologizes* lol, well, having been here done this, doesn't it feel GREAT to be finished? But now you'll be going back for a second round. A good word of advice. Take a month or two off. Don't be stupid and jump right back in like I did. *kicks herself* That was really dumb.
But this is so good! It's good to see the finished project. You've done a great job MoR. Keep me updated on upcoming projects, and let me know if you ever need anything.