Reviews for The Successor
Raindog Bride chapter 1 . 3/16/2010
Oh holy jesus blargh, this was GOOD. I mean, it was absolutely wrong, and just the image of the real Squall stumbling around in that nowhere for eternity without his goddamn happy ending is ten kinds of awful and brilliant and I feel terrible for being so irrationally delighted.

This was awesome.
Alsace chapter 1 . 7/30/2008
"He moves closer, just like she wanted, and pulls her in, just like she imagined, and kisses her, just like she dreamed.

He tastes grey and wispy, like spiderwebs and fading dreams, like lies and Sorceress magic, and that's perfect too."

These are two amazing lines that really made me fall in love with this one-shot. Awesome, awesome writing.
Tamaki chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
"She's hardly seen that scowly face of his at all, since then. Which is good. She told him to try and relax for a bit, and even - sure, it was probably too much to ask from him - to try and enjoy the time he had off before his next mission. And it was when she said that - when she mentioned the mission - that he tilted his head ever so slightly, and blinked, and said that _he wouldn't leave her_."

That was when the feel was starting to build for me when you think something seems off and not quite right, making you want to wonder, but shrug it off. Much like what Rinoa was doing. It was odd [seemed random to me] that he would state that, it made not of sense to me when it seemed... off, random.

"She remembers being scared, in Time Compression. Here and now, it's hard to get her mind around it"

Actually, when this was stated, I thought she was subconciously hinting to herself that it was Time Compression, or at least the vague feel of it. I re-read this line a few times, though I can see the initial meaning behind the words that one would get from simply reading it, it is my believe that because of how you were writing the fic that it transformed them to the meaning I saw them as. And I believe that takes quite a lot of talent.

Poor Rinoa... she did manage to try and remember him the best she could, but her mind started to wander off in the end.

It seems ironic with the word choice you used for the kiss at the end of Rinoa's dialogue, but perhaps it's her own magic at work too to help realize the illusion and intensity it all the more. It's a shame she's bewitched and I love how you portrayed how Squall is doing, throwing in [or so it seems] that Rinoa did almost reach him.

[She had found him, after all in the area he is still traped in]. However, Rinoa just didn't manage to reach out completely when she almost did.

I feel sorry for Squall, and I like the repetition and I wish I could think of more to say! Truly, I would love it if you wrote a second chapter [on what though?] seeing it seems though it quenches, more could pertain to it. But the story would loose its feel then if Rinoa/ Squall were able to find each other for real.

I'm curious of the Griever reference, actually.


Again, good story. Sadly I cannot think of more ways to state it, seeing it seems very stale.
irishais chapter 1 . 7/6/2007
Rich, brilliant, and raw. I love this; the way you write Rinoa is perfect, and the ending was a shock I definitely hadn't been expecting. Fantastic work.
cirruscastle chapter 1 . 4/22/2006
I like the way Rinoa is trying to convince herself of something throughout this story, that Squall isn't different, just better.

I like the way she keeps reiterating that it's "good," "it's a good thing." And the way she makes so many excuses for the differences in Squall's behaviour - that he's just recovered from a traumatic experience.

I love your subtlety. You give your readers a great deal of credit. You make the reader do a little work to figure out exactly what's happening.

I like the way that even the perfect Squall doesn't always do exactly what Rinoa wants him to - she's exasperated with his quietness on the balcony.

I like the way that when Rinoa thinks so hard about Squall she seems to be thinking of what he has not done yet, rather than the way he was when she lost him.

I like your comparison to a fairy tale. It seems like the sort of thing Rinoa would think of, the way she had everyone calling her a Princess.

I love the point where Rinoa snaps and gets a little mean, if only in her thoughts. It’s so telling because she is the one who tries to always be so kind to everyone, even whenit doesn’t really make sense, but finally she wants everyone to shut up, because she can see there is something wrong with Squall even if no one else really seems to.

I like the way this implies that Rinoa does actually know him quite well and I like the way you don’t vilify her for what she has done, the way you show she didn’t really intend to create some sort of fake Squall to substitute for the real one.

I like the way she instantly reverts to the pretence that everything is perfect. It seems like it’s almost too much for her mind to deal with, so she just pushes it back to the side.

I like the way it’s obvious Squall still isn’t right, even though Rinoa comes to accept this as what she wants.

It’s chilling the way poor Squall forgets everything.

I love Time Compression fic and I really enjoyed this one as a way of explaining Squall’s sudden and frightening change of heart at the end of the game.
Riona chapter 1 . 12/29/2005
Did I really never review this? Really?

This is probably my favourite piece of everything you've ever written, and that is saying a _lot_. It's absolutely stunning, seriously, and it makes the ending so amazingly _wrong_ and _creepy_, and I can really see Rinoa thinking like this. Something about the final scene of the game really does seem a little off, and you've taken that and you haven't just made it make _sense_, you've turned it into one of the best works of fiction that I have ever read.

It's seriously wonderful to watch Rinoa's self-delusion breaking down (possibly 'horrible' would be a more appropriate word, but that doesn't sound especially complimentary). The beginning is great - it starts off with the 'it's over now, it's all okay' tone, and it deteriorates in a way that has the reader's doubts building as Rinoa's do - you _know_ that something is horribly wrong, but you _don't quite know what_. And then there are the little weird things, like Squall's GFs disappearing, and his not being able to remember what happened in Time Compression (and the way she tries to _explain it away_ to herself - 'maybe that was because of the GFs' - I'm shuddering with horrified awe as I reread this) and when he smiles at her (which gave me the creeps in the actual game, so you can't imagine how much worse it was coming after all this buildup of creepitude), and _errgh_.

'Everything is - perfect, perfect and right and wonderful and just like she always wanted, and he is everything she wanted him to be, and everything is fine. He's not different. Just - better.' - this line is _brilliant_. It's kind of quick and breathless - it feels as if she's trying to think these things to reassure herself, but as quickly as possible so that she doesn't have time to consider what's _wrong_ with them. Her trying-to-convince herself is just perfect throughout - he's _better_, he just appreciates life more, it's a _good_ thing, 'if there were something bothering Squall, she'd know', 'She's hardly seen that scowly face of his at all, since then. Which is good' - Hyne, I just want to give her a hug now. Poor Rinoa, her intentions were always so good and now she has what she wanted Squall to be and she's realising that she just wants the old Squall back and _argh give her a hug_.

'That was good. And this is good, too, just the two of them on the balcony, alone together. This what she wanted. All of it. Perfect.

Everyone keeps saying how happy he seems. What a change has come over him. How good it is to see him like that.

Rinoa wishes they would all just shut up.

Rinoa wishes he would stop staring at her like that.' are _so ridiculously brilliant_. This part is just - words fail me. That moment when the delusion just kind of falls away, and then a second later she's clinging to it again. _Argh_.

And then you get to the _end_, and it's so _awful_ and the whole fic suddenly makes sense and _argh_, you are _horrible_ and _brilliant_ and I wish allowed italics because this fic deserves _so many italics_. The last line - absolutely perfectly brilliantly hopeless.

'It hurts, and he doesn't know why. It's so familiar, and he doesn't know why.' - the repetition throughout the entire fic is brilliant, it really hammers it home. This fic is like someone driving a screwdriver through your chest while you pretend it isn't happening. That's probably the weirdest simile I've ever used, and I'm not even sure whether it makes sense, but it's meant to be a compliment regarding the incredible emotional force of it.

There are so few descriptions, but what _is_ there is so perfectly expressed, and you give us just enough to be able to picture everything ('Rinoa watches him out of the corner of her eye, and he watches the waves like they're the most interesting thing he's ever seen' - _absolutely perfect_).

And the premise makes _so much sense_, and it's an absolutely brilliant idea, and it works perfectly with what we know of Time Compression, and it makes Squall's weirdness in the final scene so completely sensical. This could have happened. This probably _did_ happen, it explains so much. SEE YOUR FANFICTION IS SO GOOD THAT YOU HAVE FOREVER RUINED THE ENDING OF THE GAME FOR ME.
Lywinis chapter 1 . 9/21/2005
That's actually a rather frightening possibility. No one's ever thought of that, at least, no one I've ever seen. This is scary, wistful, and maybe just a little bit true?

I think it is. And y'know, if you think about it, it actually kind of fits in with the Kingdom Hearts storyline. O_o; Woah...

You just blew my mind. *hops off to write a fanfic* Keep to your writing style; I love the terse, simplified cadence it has. _
JC chapter 1 . 9/10/2005
Just wanted to say that unlike others, I got it, and that I loved it. Keep up the good work.
Tara chapter 1 . 8/13/2005
I don't get it.
InfinityFinality chapter 1 . 1/29/2005
Whoa... Dude... That was AWESOME! A whole different view on how FF8 ended. At first I was like, How is this supernatural/horror? Everything seems all howdy doody to me! And then you get to the end it's like HOLY CRAP! And y'know? It is kinda scary. Great job! I'll keep my eyes out for more fics from you! I've noticed that you're very good at standing your readers on their heads and shaking them so that their skulls thunk loudly one the ground for several minutes at a time It's really cool that you're continually giving us the flip-side of everything
ice-princess-squall chapter 1 . 11/16/2004

She has Squall's trapped.

I always thought Rinoa was trying to make him change into her idea of perfection... she acted like she loved Seifer half of the game and then suddenly, she loves Squall.

*Throws Squall with Selphie or one of the boys*

That's alot better!
aegis chapter 1 . 11/6/2004
Funny, for a one-shot it really makes me want to read more. _ This was a good piece, really intriguing.
Lucrecia LeVrai chapter 1 . 11/5/2004
Um, will there be more? 'Cause for a simple 'one-shot' the abrupt ending seems strangely confusing (almost scary)... Anyway, I liked it, especially your simple, neat and effective writing style. Good job! :)