|Reviews for Things We Go Through|
| What the hell chapter 5 . 12/13/2014
nope...nopetity nope. I LOVE THIS STORY SOOOOOO MUCH BUT I HATE M-PREG EVEN MORE. K... how dafuk does the baby come out? and...eweeeeeey i realised how the baby comes out nasttttty. You'll just randomly b taking a shit and the baby pops out. And since it is not in the womb his belly wont grow really big... hi but will. HOW DAFUK IS HE MENNA SIT DOWN WIDOUT KILLING F BABY? K now i am calm...phew. Other than Sirus A GUY being pregnant i love d stoy and i love your writing skills. You shud make one Where Snape gets raped AND HE GET PREGNAT TOOO AND HARRYS THE BABY. JKING IF YOU MAKE A STORY LIKE THIS I'LL BREAK MY PHONE . Don't forget I the story
| sierra.steinbrecher chapter 17 . 10/30/2014
Okay, your James is very strange, and seems super shallow to me. One chapter, he's saying that he'll marry Sirius, and the next he's calling him despicable. Make up your mind! Is he in love or not? Or is he just really stupid?
| sierra.steinbrecher chapter 7 . 10/30/2014
I love Remus. Thanks for giving those two a solid rock in the middle of this storm. That said, I'd like to see more of him. Is the baby affecting Sirius's schooling at all?
| chimaera198 chapter 9 . 5/30/2014
ehm you pass out if you lost about a liter of blood I think, I am not really sure but it is something like that, I mean some people pass out when they give blood at the bloodbank and that is just half a liter. And unless you slice vertically like from your wrist to your elbow it isn't possible to actually die by cutting your wrist because the veins constrict.
Anyway like your story :)
| PadfootIsMyHomeDawg chapter 38 . 2/11/2014
Great poems. :)
| SpiffyNoodles9 chapter 6 . 6/8/2012
great chapter :D
| Heeeey chapter 2 . 4/30/2012
I completely feel for Remus. He has to watch his friends be very very stupid. It's a reallty gooood story. Thanks for submitting it!
| Fantom-you're-the-best chapter 9 . 2/9/2012
it is very sad, but fortunatly Sirius' not dead!
For your questions (even if it was long time ago):
Yeah you made some small mistakes about the pregnancy stuff (but for most of them you only noticed them with madical traigning) and for the TS (cutting as you said) it's the same thing, some mistakes! or the pass out/ blood loss it depend on the patient general physique condition (high, weight, neurotranmettors that are freed...)!
Anyway (just talk for saying nothing) I really liked this chapter!
| Fantom-you're-the-best chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
I know this story's old but I hope you'll get my review anaway!
I loved this first chapter and I was wondering if you'll accept that I do a translation of this fic (in French wich is my mother tongue)!
Hope you'll see my demands! Let me know your answer!
(of couse if you say yes (I hope you'll do) I'll mention that all the senario was yours and that I just make the translation (I'll never take credit for someone eles' work))
If you say no I'd totaly understand it (no worries) i just like to have an answer even if it's no.
Congrats, well done and thanks for this first chap!
Hope to have some news soon (please! ! ! ! "making puppies eyes")
| HPSauce chapter 6 . 8/7/2011
This chapter, although fantastically written, just annoyed me.
A fetus does not become conscious until its third month of development. And if you had been raped and beaten repetitively, would you go through all the pain of having the rapist's child, when you would be reminded of your torture whenever you saw him/her?
I am against harming innocent life: however, the child would be just as hurt if, as a teen, she/he discovered that they had been born out of rape and abuse.
Sorry about the rant, but I have pretty strong views on this topic!
| sugar-scribble chapter 51 . 12/5/2010
wow this is an amazing story. I really enjoyed it and it was well written :)
| Artistic Dragon chapter 51 . 6/5/2010
Wow just wow.
| Anyjen chapter 7 . 5/2/2009
This may be a strange review to get, because it’s not one given by a person that read your story to the end, loved it and told you about it, but rather form a person that couldn’t get into your story, ended up disliking a few things about it, and eventually decided to stop reading. To tell you the truth, I wanted to read this story to the end to see if it got better. I made it to chapter seven, and that's as far as I'll go. Sorry, but it’s just not good enough to merit reading all fifty-one chapter.
I thought of leaving quietly, but I hate to read and run. I always try to leave a review that is going to show I read the story and told the author what I thought of it, and if it wasn’t that good, how to improve it, or how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Please, don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t mean for you to be offended by this review, or get discouraged from writing; I simply think that constructive criticism is the only way in which an author can improve. I’ve received all kinds in the ten years I’ve been writing, and even if some of them hurt me at the time I got them, I eventually realized that if I paid careful attention to what they were saying I would improve (though not all of them were constructive; some were just mean, and I hope that’s not how this sounds. I apologize in advance if I sound harsh; that’s not my intention, at all).
Indeed this is a very old story and some of these things you’ve probably fixed with time, but as far as this story goes, these are a few things I notices that could have been better:
1. Barely any mention of Peter at all. I know, he’s not a very likable character, having betrayed them all, but at the point in their history you’re writing this, they were friends.
Though I guess ignoring him is better than the Peter bashing that is prevalent in this kind of stories, so it isn’t such a big deal. And it’s kind of conceivable that after he got a girlfriend he would be absent most of the time, so it’s kind of fine, though a bit more mention of him would have been better (even if it was only a few sentences like: “Peter seemed too busy staring at his girlfriend from across the room to listen to what James was saying”, or something like that).
2. Sirius is completely out of character. Yes, I know that he went through something horrible over an extended period of time, but when we saw him in book five he was a darn cocky bastard. A sexy, overconfident, good-at-everything-I-do student, but a cocky bastard all the same. And James was not very different. But in your story, he is this weak, whiny little thing that says that he is not good at anything... I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble reconciling him with the Sirius I read in those books.
3. They’re starting their sixth year, and James said that “he had been in love with Sirius for two years”. Now, I may have read a different version of book five than yours, but at the end of fifth year he had been pretty darn smitten with Lily. Saying that contradicts what we already know of James as a character (or what was already known at the time you wrote this). If you really wanted to show James as already in love with Sirius you could have said that it happened over summer (though teenage boys are not famous for getting over crushes in a single summer), or that it’d been a feeling that had developed equally with those feelings for Lily (not unheard of for teenagers), but you can’t simply ignore it. He does end up marrying her and being very happy with her, you know.
4. The extent of Sirius’ injuries during the abuse and their treatment (or lack of). First of all, even if the anal muscles and the soft tissue of the colon are torn easily and bleed, they generally bleed very little and stop on their own in a matter of minutes. If he had really been bleeding enough to “lie in a puddle of his own blood”, you could fully expect him to die soon afterwards. If he had been the victim of such level of violence (which is, btw, very hard to attain with your penis alone, even without lube. You’d probably need a foreign object, because raping someone that hard is nearly as painful and damaging for the rapist as for the victim, and sustaining an erection under the circumstances can be difficult) his colon may have ruptured, and then he could go into what’s called septic shock in an hour or two (it’s happened, and more often than you would think). Once you go into septic shock (which means that your blood is contaminated by bacteria and your body is reacting very badly to it), there are high chances you will die. Even if that hadn’t been the case, the treatment of his injuries seems unrealistic. When he goes to madam Pomfrey in chapter five, days after the last such attack, she says that he needs stitches in some places. Actually, doctors don’t stitch you up after a few hours of getting an injury because of risk of infection, and they’re anyway very reluctant to apply stitches in a place as delicate as the anus and the colon, because of the possibility that they may be torn or infected.
Even taking all that into account, there’s the little thing about wizard medicine that you seem to have forgotten: They don’t use stitches. They use spells and potions. And with good reason! Remember what happened when that young healer apprentice tried to stitch Mr. Weasley’s chest after Voldemort’s snake bit him? And judging by Molly’s reaction, stitches are not something that is done in the Wizard world.
There are more things that could be better in this story than those four, and indeed you’ve corrected some of them in later stories (I would mention authenticity of feelings, but in “Even the Gods must Die” you attain that perfectly, so it seems to be something that you improved with time), but these would be enough to explain why I’m not reading any further.
Basically, most of your problems seem to stem from lack of research, and not going back to your reference (in this case, the original books) to check your facts. Characterization is difficult, and some suspension of disbelief is usually necessary in stories that deal with topics such as mpreg, but there are some things which a quick visit to wikipedia or a google search will solve.
Another useful source of information is people that have gone through similar things. If you’ve never been pregnant and want to write about it in a believable way, ask someone who has, like your mother or a neighbor. Ask them to tell you what morning sickness was like (and you will find that it’s generally not as violent as you described it, and that it doesn’t only happen in the morning, but actually after any extended period of time without eating) and what other things were annoying about being pregnant.
You don’t even need to tell them what you’re asking for, people generally enjoy the attention and like to share about those experiences without needing much of an excuse. Some will actually tell you all this whether you want to hear it or not.
The more you know about a topic, the more believable it will be when you put it in a story, and the more believable it is, the more your readers will enjoy it.
Oh, and one other thing:
“Not to mention, his strange, random cravings were kind of strange.”
To avoid writing this kind of repetitive sentences, try using a thesaurus. There are a couple free ones online (though I can’t send you the links through here). When used properly, they make reading a joy (but don’t abuse it or your stories will read like medical journals).
I hope this helps you. I apologize again if I sound rude; that wasn’t my intention, but since I’m not a native speaker of English sometimes I sound harsher than I mean to be; it’s hard to gauge politeness in a language that is not your own.
| Karla YtF chapter 51 . 8/18/2008
I LOVED it ) I really do, but I don't get it, was it Harry the 3rd baby?... I'll stick to the idea, it's him :D.
| I-Love-Trunks1 chapter 51 . 3/27/2008
That was so good! Its a shame there's going to be no sequel cause this story was so good!