|Reviews for The Raven Call|
| gothicflower chapter 8 . 6/20/2006
Oh, I just love this story! It is so interesting...just hope Stacey won't ruin the atmosphere for Edward and Raven... :)
| Guest chapter 8 . 6/18/2006
what took you so long? i'm so glad you updated! thank you, thank you, thank you! please update really soon and show me what raven gives edward.
| The Stitched Ninja chapter 8 . 6/18/2006
you took too long to update! so please don't take too long again, please?
| MoonFox531 chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
Good chapter. That was so sweet what edward made. Hope ya update soon, I can't wait to know what Raven gives Edward. _
| coolmarauders chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
YAY YOU UPDATED! WOOT WOOT!
I LOVE this story to death! It's fantabulous! Thank you for writing it!
Moony of CM (see previous reviews)
| chef13 chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
*gaps in shock* You...you actually took my advice? and you didn't private message me and yell at me or anything? DUDE! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT THIS MAKES ME FEEL! i was definitly not expecting that! usually when i correct soembody's fic like that, they message me and are all "well, if you don't like my story, then don't read it!"
wow, thanks for taking me seriously. _
wait, you didn't really find my review annoying, and fixed it and put my name in the title to make me feel weird did you? cause if you did, then messageing and yelling at me would have been a lot more effective. man, now i'm all paranoid cause i don't know if you really like me or hate me!
oh god, now i'm just ruining the moment! i'm sure you didn't do that!
anyways, the corrections really did help the chapter a lot. it flows a lot more and sounds so much better. i hope you think so, too.
well, thanks for taking my review to heart. most authors on this site are just looking for an "OMG! great job! post agin soon!" review. (granted, i enjoy those too; they're a great self-esteem boost.) but it's nice to know that soemone appreciates the thoughful ones, too. _
hpe the nex chapter is up soon. private message me sometime!
| LittleFlowerLei chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
Darn you for taking so long!
OH! BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO ADORABLE!
although you put "Kill" instead of "Kiss" but it's still cute.
Update soon. Now. Or I'll send all my violent men in the vault after you.
Edward and Erik: No way.
Me: BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN LOVE YOU TWO!
Edward: (Unsure of side)
Edward: N-No way...
| WanderingTeen chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
Aw! This is a precious chapter. But what would she be able to get him in return? That's something to think about...
| chef13 chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
OK, Starrkeh, i think it's time for a little constructive critisizm. you've written 12 stories, so i'm sure this is nothing new to you and you're mature enough to handle it (not like the other authors who yell at me for correcting them). OK, here we go:
you are a writer who clearly has a lot of good ideas and great characters. you're problem is that you aren't very good at actually putting them on paper. read back this chapter to yourself; does it really flow? to be absolutly frank, you're grammar is horrible! i hate to say this, but it's to the point that i can't enjoy the story to it's full potential. don't take this the wrong way, i just hate to see a story be ruined by soemthing as simple as grammar. the story could be FANTASTIC if you just fixed up a few things. here are the main things i noticed in the chapter:
1. "She should have tried to convince her parents that she didn’t go to Stacey’s friends, why should she come to hers? I suppose she had tried that already."
see that? by using "I" right here, you've just changed the point of view. you've put yourself into the story; added a narrator. you can't do that right in the middle of the text. pick either first or second person and make SURE you stick with it through the WHOLE story. otherwise, you confuse the reader.
2."Edward nodded slightly"
"he almost looks transparent"
see, you used two different tenses. this is a lot like the point of view issue, except it's more important becuase it jumps out to everyone, not just people who pay attention in English class too much, like me (such a dork :P). past or present tense is probably the most important thing when writing, becuase you have to using the same one in EVERY verb, which can get hard to remember. i can't tell you how many times i've re-read something i've done in the past, and found a present verb. but, once agin, it makes the reader very confused if you hop around.
3."Its head was towards the sky, its wings prepared for flight, behind the large bird lifted."
this sentence would have been a lot better if you had taken out "behind the large bird lifted." maybe you could have used "lifted" instead of "was" when talking about the birds head. it was overall, just very messy to read.
i hope you aren't taking this in a negative manner, becuase i don't mean to sound like i don't like to actual story. becuase i do, very much. i just want you to make it better. like i said beofre, i can't stad to watch someone's work be taken down by something as trival as grammar! maybe it's just me, but i think it's so easy. for me, grammar is just second nature, i guess.
anyway, you ARE very good writer. and you can tell even with all the grammatical errors. like these two things:
"His dark pools of eyes seemed to be welling up with tears, but that just might be the light."
"When she left, Edward felt as if the magic of the garden had left with her. He reached up to touch his cheek where she had kissed him. A fresh cut was sliced into his skin. He didn’t flinch. He just stared at the large gate cutting off his world, from Ravens world. How he wanted to be part of her world."
those were just beautiful! you're very good at adressing imagry, symbolism, and mood. in both of these, i could really SEE Edward, you know? you have the potential to make the whole chapter this good, and i don't want you to lose that potential just becuase grammar isn't you're strongest point.
anyways, i hope you take my advice to heart, here. if you just read over the chapter a few times and fixed these little things your next chapter will be magical! _
can't wait for you to post more!
| DollyMillionaire chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
| geckogirl chapter 8 . 6/17/2006
im so glad you updated...and i laughed really hard at the description of a brat.i never really thought of what it my sister is just like stacy and her relationship to raven is just my sisters relationship with its cool that edward made something for raven and he got a kis...*squee*
| MoonFox531 chapter 7 . 6/13/2006
This is a great fic. I like your style of writting. Can't wait for an update. _
| Lorien Urbani chapter 7 . 6/5/2006
Hello! I just started reading this and I must say that I'm very impressed. I like this story a lot! I've never read an Edward fanfic before, and the title of this really attracted me. Plus, Edward is one of my face characters ever, so...
Good story. I like the plot. Raven is a great girl. I liked her immediately, and Stacey is just such a pain. Besides, I've always felt that Suburbia was much more spookier than Edward's home/castle. There, everything is so perfect, but only on the outside, whereas Edward's beauty is not seen unlies you see it with your inner eyes. OK, way off topic...lol
Anyway, I think you showed this well. I love the idea of Edward getting a new friend. I'm only worried about Stacey's reaction. This brat could ruin it all for Edward. If she told the people of Suburbia about Edwards, he would be in danger!
And poor Edward, still waiting for Kim to come...
Write more soon!
| Intrepid Owl chapter 5 . 4/30/2006
Good story. I can't wait for more
| musicofthenight5 chapter 7 . 4/14/2006
oh my god, oh my god, you really have to update!