|Reviews for Defying Gravity|
| iGotzCookies chapter 2 . 5/1/2014
This is really good so far and I'll like to see how it continues, you should Finnish it:-)
| Taika chapter 2 . 11/30/2004
Yeah, I'm first reviewer! It's good that there's some Slytherin-Gryffindor friendships (and hopefully later a relationship!) But I'm surprised that Ron hasn't figured out that Ginny has this close Slytherin friend. By the way, I was just curious, in chapter one, you said that Mindy was an 8th year, and that she's on the soccer team. Are those typos, or part of the story? Smiles, Taika
| Kyma chapter 1 . 11/30/2004
First of all, you really need to work on the summary... Like instead of "When Ginny is the only Gyrffindor to be friends with Slytherins, Mindy Mullens, she learns that people want to go there sepearte ways. She also realizes that Draco has a heart and sparks fly. DRACOGINNY!" Try to make it flow.. Like.. Ginny, being the only GRyffindor with a friend in Slytherin (Mindy Mullens), learns that people want to go their seperate ways. She also learns that Draco Malfoy has a heart. What happens when sparks fly? D/G... something like that.. I dunno... a good summary attracts people.
Second, there are only 7 years in hogwarts.. No eighth year...
Third, write football and not soccer because British people call soccer football.. Actually, almost every other control calls it football, not soccer.. I think america is just stupid somethings.. Oh well. (Hehe.. sorry, Im kinda biased yet Im not.. cos Im from England)
Okay, you wanna add more detail as well as use spell check. Grammar, length, and watch out for sentence structures and repetition. You don't want to be redundant...
Other than that, the story was okay... Keep writing. The only way people improve on writing is to listen to the criticism and keep on practicing. Good job.
| LunarianPrincess chapter 2 . 11/30/2004
I really liked this story, i love that song! well, i really like the way you have begun i cant wait to see what happens with them _-
| missmcweir chapter 2 . 11/30/2004
Generally like your idea of the plot, and I think that it is well written. There were jsut some minor things I stumbled about:
- I keep wondering about the soccer thing... it should be quidditch, shouldn't it? Guessing from the way some of the magic people reacted to football posters being hung out in Harry's dorm at the beginning of the first book.
-It is also kind of hard to figure why Ginny would be friends with a person who does get in such a lot of trouble, and of whose intentions she is not entirely sure. If Mindy was a dear, sweet girl, it would be kind of easier, but she seems to be pretty stubborn and weird. I was jsut wondering how they would ever have had a chance to develop this friendship., being in opposed houses, one very sociable, the other not at all etc.
- I frankly did not get this whole thing ith the forest: why would they go to see deatheaters, if Mindy is that afraid of seeing Voldemort - and why does she take Ginny, considering Voldemort kind of knows her and her connections to Harry Potter - i believe he would basically kill her, and that wouldn't be something a friend would persuade you to go to.
-i do not think death-eaters can actually get into hogwarts grounds, not even the magic forest, for it's protection... vaguely remember something about Sirius only being able to pass as an animal.(but you should ask hermione to be entirely sure.*g*)
-why would malfoy be nice to any person whom is not taller, stronger or more powerful than himself? Even if Mindy is in the same house, i do not think that he would talk in this way, unless given some hidden attraction.
otherwise, I think that there is potential in the story, and I'd ike to see what you make of it!
| Queenbeth2 chapter 2 . 11/30/2004
I liked it. A few spelling errors but nobodys perfect. except me. But you need more Draco/Ginny damn it! Put more in!