|Reviews for When our lives broke|
| shiftyless chapter 10 . 10/22/2008
Very neat from chapter 1 to chapter 10
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 10 . 8/28/2005
Dissapointing for the ending, not much else to say. I liked hearing Petunia, but I still just didn't think it the right way to end.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 9 . 8/28/2005
that no Lastrange
Wouldn't it be Lesterange? I am not sure, but I think it is spelled wrong.
to the flue
Same with Flu, which I don't know how to spell myself.
Moody’s chair I was
Chairs is proper. Anyways, I liked this chapter, Moody was well portrayed as was Snape.
to administer varitaserum.”
I think thats spelled wrong as well, check out the Harry Potter lexicon. Its very helpful
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 8 . 8/28/2005
lose only one parents, rather
Other then that, the last line was really well done. Very good, me liked it a lot.
The start and middle, kind of dull, but that is alright.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 7 . 8/28/2005
This one didn't appeal to me, seemed sort of pointless and really short. Down from your other chapters.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 6 . 8/28/2005
coming in site of
Sight, not site.
The doctor scene was unexpected and very well done, I liked it immensly! The part of Remus and his cat, not so exciting.
Dumbledore coming, and the reference to spring rain was nice. Remus comparing himself to an 11 year old was good as well. HOwever, that would of had him think about his friends, and I didn't see a reaction about that.
The last sentence, kind of anti-climatic
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 5 . 8/28/2005
Really, really, really short. But it was also very powerful.
Once again, your writing style remains the same, sort of cold and frigid, though the story is very diverse in its characters. Something to think about.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 4 . 8/28/2005
James and Lilies
Shouldn't it be Lily's? Not sure, but I think so.
his face. “He , and
Same thing, maybe ffn cut some of your story off? Anyways, I liked this chapter a lot. Sirius's description of teh apartment was well done. And the ending, when he doesn't realize the blame will be laid on him, nice.
I thought from the summary it would be after they died, but its more of a story with different narrators.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 3 . 8/28/2005
Its prey, not pray. I laughed when you referred to Peter as the waist of a human, nice pun.
anyone why I had to , or more importantly
That sentence is obviously missing something. I got your meaning, but it might be something for you to look out for.
Your writing style doesn't change, although the wide variety of your characters does. So, it makes it harder to connect emotionally with them.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 2 . 8/28/2005
Nice last line my Voldermort. God should be capatlized, for your knowledge. Sorry, I'm nitpicky.
Anyways, I didn't feel Peter as much in this chapter, I don't really expect him to be so articulate about his feelings, so I didn't like it as much.
| Tikvah Ariel chapter 1 . 8/28/2005
So sad, because they are all so blind. I'm glad you haven't terrorized Peter like some fanfic authors have. Nice chapter, it moved a bit slowly, but got better when Sirius arrived. I like it so far
| hello chapter 9 . 2/5/2005
one two.(maybe a ton) That was so so so so so so so so so so ausomely good!I domt think I can express in words how good you are!
| RazberryGirl chapter 9 . 2/4/2005
yah! good job u update really fast!
| hello chapter 8 . 2/3/2005
you are making me the happiest person in the world. you story is so good and you can do any character it seems. you really are a literary geniuos!
| KrisB.723 chapter 2 . 2/3/2005
I love the first two chapters so far it's really great and espceailly during school hours