|Reviews for Phoenix Falling|
| For love of Sunflowers chapter 4 . 9/12/2007
very very good.
| Loon chapter 1 . 5/22/2007
Its not bad. Love all the description. Cant see any MarySue characteristics at this point, so dont listen to the first commenter..
But its abit too plain. Hope it will get more interesting in future chapters!
| clearmind-clearheart chapter 4 . 7/12/2006
So whats Harry's surprise?
| Yikes chapter 4 . 6/13/2005
It sucks. Sorry.
| IRLost chapter 4 . 6/8/2005
Very good story. Please update soon. P
| IDK2391 chapter 1 . 1/23/2005
no bad, a bit plain, but a good job none the less.
| cecelle chapter 1 . 12/17/2004
Ignore reviewer 1 - there isn't enough information to make that sort of call at all. I see none of the typical Sue characteristics at this point.
I had to laugh at Lisa's mother - "while he's there, nothing can cause you physical harm". Seeing how many times characters ended up in the infirmary and even dead - sometimes ignorance is bliss, LOL!
| XxXPirateRoseXxX chapter 1 . 12/5/2004
Hey I like it! Keep writing...
| molly22 molly00300 at GAFF chapter 1 . 11/30/2004
Your story needs something-pacing. So many English teachers completely skip over talking about pacing, but it really is important. The way you write everything goes so quickly, making each part seem as important or unimportant as the next. Consider instead building up tension and suspense, introducing the characters, and including emotions as well as dialogue.
Lisa is not really a MarySue, but it wouldn't be impossible for her to become one. Basically, just don't fall into the traps of instant popularity, staggering genius, or a HAWT BODDIE! Just let your character evolve naturally.
| paprika90 chapter 1 . 11/24/2004
its-OK really. but, it seems to be laking something. the writing is kinda crammed in there and such so, yeah. other than that, its a good start of a story and im liiking foreward to reading your next chapter soon! _
p.s. i read your author thinggy and your 15 and in grade nine? thats pretty different from the way school is in canada. usualy, unless due to the whole 'birthday thinggy' ppl 15 are in grade ten. how odd is that? lol well, anyways, ciao! :D
| Lyric's Angel chapter 1 . 11/24/2004
Sorry but your original characters are terrible Mary Sues