|Reviews for Clouded Sky|
| Septentrion Euchoreutes chapter 17 . 4/28
I really don't see a human reacting to TV like that no matter how primitive their culture. There is a clear allowance in the human mind to differentiate between image and object. Some animals even understand what their reflection. The TV would certainly be weird and Tobias might come to some wrong conclusions, but I don't see it going that far.
It's a odd bit in this rather good fanfiction. I really only was tempted to be out something once a few chapter back, but there enough good in every chapter. Also, I'm more than a decade in the past, so I'm going to try to get to the end before any major assessments.
| M.T.Pockets chapter 47 . 2/1
Overall, this is one of the best fanfics I've read to date. I know I've said it before, but the quality of the writing is excellent. More importantly though, all that talent and hard work was used to tell a truly gripping and suspenseful story. Everything about Waytar fascinates me. I would read a guidebook if I could get my hands on one. While I don't usually like fanmade pokemon, the fact that these ones are fanmade serves a purpose and I ended up loving them. Nearly all of the characters are memorable which is more impressive than it sounds give the large number of them. I really loved how some of the characters that got their starters with Tobias show up again. Although I wish Kevin had gotten more development in the beginning to match the weight of his role later on.
With the number of plot twists the direction of the story and Tobias's goals change. As the story progressed these would often become murkier. However, even went Tobias's motivation was established I still wanted to slap him in the face sometimes (metaphorically speaking) because his actions and desires did not seem rational to me given his circumstances. Did it make sense for him to feel that way? Sure did! Did I sympathize with Accemenla every time he made a stupid decision? Absolutely! I don't really consider this a big problem though because it was always in character.
The one single thing that I wasn't a fan of was the ending. It made me sad and didn't satisfy me. There are still so many things I want to know. This huge event happens, but we never really find out the consequences. I know there were some planned stories for afterwards, but I had grown to loves these characters and this world so much I want to know what happens to it as a result of large events at the end.
Regardless of my feelings about the ending, I consider the completion of this story a treat for any reader and something that I hope gives the author pride and a sense of accomplishment. When I was 15 I thought it would be a great idea to write some gigantic fics too, but I never finished mine and the writing wasn't this good. Completing this story could not have been easy so I really hope the author understands just how much I loved reading it and I hope that others will stumble upon it and love it just as much.
Thank you Negrek! Reading this story was an absolute treat. If I ever decide to start writing again, I hope I can reach the same quality as you did :)
| M.T.Pockets chapter 40 . 2/1
So I'm finally back on fanfiction and eager to read this story again. I had actually managed to read up to chapter 31 before I had to go so my memory is a bit foggy, but I thought I would leave another review just in case I end up on another hiatus. Although I doubt that will be the case. Besides, this story is excellent and really hard to put down.
What I do remember about the lighthouse challenge was that it was really well written, if a bit gory. I feel bad for saying this, but I kinda feel like the story ought to be rated teen. For what it's worth that's really the only complaint I have. It's a fantastic story and I can't wait to finish it. The writing itself is spectacular and I have developed an even bigger respect for the author than I had before. I also recall feeling relief when Chevron evolved. I still adore him even if he's a bit different now. When I started a new pokemon game I even named the zigzagoon I caught Chevron after him.
In the chapters after the lighthouse challenge I found myself growing more and more attached to Accemenla too. What impressed me even more was the locket scene. Even though I was having a hard time remembering why Tobias had to leave, the locket scene brought all those memories back which I thought was really impressive. It also demonstrated how Jinx has grown. I'm in awe of the quality of the writing. I hope I can be like this author someday.
I also love seeing the other children who got their starters along with Tobias popping up. I honestly want to see more of them. I found the whole starter selection process fascinating so I want to see how they too have grown.
SPOILERS START HERE
This is in part due to a very cool concept in this story in which humans take on some of the qualities of their starter pokemon. I want to know more about this so badly! Will Tobias also gain some flying type characteristics? What kinds of qualities are indicated by other types. Does this process take place in regions where you choose between grass, fire, and water? I don't think I'll learn the answer to that, but I'm just so excited to learn more about the world Negrek has created.
SPOILERS END HERE
Perhaps what I want to know most of all is how the author managed to continue the story with new pokemon being introduced by the franchise while it was being completed. This was obviously a very long and in my mind worthwhile project. I want to know how the introduction of new pokemon impacted it and heck just even more information about the process. I'm just so fascinated by the story and it's world. If it wasn't clear already, I can't recommend this story highly enough.
| M.T.Pockets chapter 19 . 5/14/2016
In short: this is a simply fantastic, creative, suspenseful, stay-up all night read. Alas, I have to get up early tomorrow and should have gone to bed two hours ago. What can I say? The story is gripping to the point I actually forgot to take notes which I usually do when I review something so hopefully I can remember enough stuff off the top of my head.
The writing is great. The balance between description and action is perfect. It never feels boring and really helps to captivate the reader. The writing is never repetitive either. If there's a conversation with three or more people the author always knows how to make it sound natural and how to ensure we know who is talking. Any time when explanations are needed to build our understanding of the world it's always really well down. I honestly can't wait to know more about Waytar's history.
I find Waytar really interesting. While most official regions have "incredible" technology (as some guy in the first town will always remind us), Waytar has very little. It's entire system and the relation between pokemon and trainers is different. Just think about the language, gyms vs. temples, trainers vs. guides. Pokemon seem to have a much more important role in society too. I'm not usually a fan of fan-made pokemon, but these ones serve a purpose to the story so I actually ended up loving them. Plus, I have to give the author, Negrek, points for naming Tobias's hometown Firstseed. That is honestly the most perfect name. I can't wait to learn even more about this region!
Of course, I can wait. The story has had plenty of plot twists. You always think you know what's going to happen and then always find out you were wrong. There's always so much suspense and lots of little bits of mystery here and there; I want to know more about everything!
As for the characters, everyone is really well-developed. Even the side characters are well described and memorable to boot! My favourite character is Chevron. He's so adorable I just want to snuggle him! Jinx gets points too because his characterization is great. He's so different from other pokemon characters in other fics.
I have noticed a few small mistakes. For example Swallowbend introduces Tobias to Ralph as Tobias, even though Tobias only used the names Thomas and Sean. Yet, Ralph introduces him to the professors as Tobias. I also found it odd that Tobias did not know what a phone was, but also was unfazed when asked for his phone number. So yeah there's little hiccups here and there, but you shouldn't let it deter you from reading this story. It's amazing!
The suspense, creativity, pacing, gripping story... honestly I just can't say enough good things about this story. I highly recommend it. In fact, it may be the first one I recommend to pokemon fans who don't read fan fiction. Seriously, it's that good so far. Give it a chance!
| Starburstia chapter 32 . 1/10/2016
That is one weird note from the shadowy gang organization that paid for a swimming pool on the third floor of a sham contest
sent to a boy ina hospital
| Starburstia chapter 31 . 1/10/2016
Wait, wtf happened? I was following up to three chapters ago, when they were making a big buzz about 'safety' and 'not killing contestants' which was understandable, if the point of making a big pool with a fake Lugia wasn't quite. and then suddenly 'Jenny' was panicking about Team Rocket? But it was fake panicking because she was actually a Waytar agent? But the thing is it would be a lot easier just to pick off contestants one by one in utter darkness on the first level rather than go through all that other trouble? Set up doesn't match. What's the deal with all the detail of battles and 'lessons about working together' if the thing is run by team rocket. What's the point of the Persian and payday coins? There's no need for lies of that elaborate nature. Why was Jenny panicking at all? Why was she suddenly murderous? Why ddin't she do this EARLIER, like in the UTTER DARKNESS of the FIRST LEVEL? ?
| vincent1875 chapter 46 . 5/3/2014
Pretty good story. Kept me entertained for most of the week.
| vincent1875 chapter 45 . 5/3/2014
I wonder why Tobias never looked into evolving Jinx.
| vincent1875 chapter 43 . 5/3/2014
I no longer see the significance of a Murkrow starter. As far as I can tell any trained darkling can destroy or leave the shield if they really wanted to. Especially considering that they live so long. It's said that darklings can travel through the shadows, however it's never established that they have to use their starters to do so. What stops a darkling from simply catching a wild murkrow and training it to take them through the shadows? Even without murkrow they could catch a water pokemon like Tobias, surf to the teeth, and use whatever pokemon they want to attack the unown. Even without murkrow they could surf to the barrier have their pokemon use faint attack to the other side and then summon a water or flying pokemon to carry them to shore.
I believe Tobias has been guiding for less than four years. With the life span of darklings they could train entire teams of dark type pokemon and curbstomp the unown. The psychics should be putting down all darklings by my logic.
Also unless Jinx kills the unown what stops them from putting the shield back up when they awaken?
| vincent1875 chapter 42 . 5/3/2014
Tobias continues to surprise me with his stupidity. Why would he plan for the guides in Snowpoint to aid him if he's attacked? He's a criminal. The tarsix can easily just reveal that and have them help her attack. Anyway it seems kind of obvious that the tarsix is being forced to do this with the collar.
Tobias also seems to be proving his selfishness by unilaterally deciding what's best for the entire region. Mainly to make his own life easier.
| vincent1875 chapter 41 . 5/2/2014
Who is Master Shatterglass? I thought the Master of the temple was called Windriver or something like that. Makes me wonder how long between updates it was for you to forget their names.
| vincent1875 chapter 40 . 5/2/2014
You mistakenly refer to the Master in Saltmarsh as Master Goldspur. Goldspur being Tobias' alias. Good so far.
| vincent1875 chapter 37 . 5/2/2014
Tobias can't seriously be stupid enough to still be calling himself Thomas can he? Thomas Goldspur is known to be Tobias Talltree at this point. His pokemon was right. He's too stupid to help.
| vincent1875 chapter 36 . 5/2/2014
She did warn him that she wasn't going. lol. Good so far.
| vincent1875 chapter 33 . 5/2/2014
Already caught? This guy fails at everything he tries.