|Reviews for Clouded Sky|
| M.T.Pockets chapter 19 . 5/14
In short: this is a simply fantastic, creative, suspenseful, stay-up all night read. Alas, I have to get up early tomorrow and should have gone to bed two hours ago. What can I say? The story is gripping to the point I actually forgot to take notes which I usually do when I review something so hopefully I can remember enough stuff off the top of my head.
The writing is great. The balance between description and action is perfect. It never feels boring and really helps to captivate the reader. The writing is never repetitive either. If there's a conversation with three or more people the author always knows how to make it sound natural and how to ensure we know who is talking. Any time when explanations are needed to build our understanding of the world it's always really well down. I honestly can't wait to know more about Waytar's history.
I find Waytar really interesting. While most official regions have "incredible" technology (as some guy in the first town will always remind us), Waytar has very little. It's entire system and the relation between pokemon and trainers is different. Just think about the language, gyms vs. temples, trainers vs. guides. Pokemon seem to have a much more important role in society too. I'm not usually a fan of fan-made pokemon, but these ones serve a purpose to the story so I actually ended up loving them. Plus, I have to give the author, Negrek, points for naming Tobias's hometown Firstseed. That is honestly the most perfect name. I can't wait to learn even more about this region!
Of course, I can wait. The story has had plenty of plot twists. You always think you know what's going to happen and then always find out you were wrong. There's always so much suspense and lots of little bits of mystery here and there; I want to know more about everything!
As for the characters, everyone is really well-developed. Even the side characters are well described and memorable to boot! My favourite character is Chevron. He's so adorable I just want to snuggle him! Jinx gets points too because his characterization is great. He's so different from other pokemon characters in other fics.
I have noticed a few small mistakes. For example Swallowbend introduces Tobias to Ralph as Tobias, even though Tobias only used the names Thomas and Sean. Yet, Ralph introduces him to the professors as Tobias. I also found it odd that Tobias did not know what a phone was, but also was unfazed when asked for his phone number. So yeah there's little hiccups here and there, but you shouldn't let it deter you from reading this story. It's amazing!
The suspense, creativity, pacing, gripping story... honestly I just can't say enough good things about this story. I highly recommend it. In fact, it may be the first one I recommend to pokemon fans who don't read fan fiction. Seriously, it's that good so far. Give it a chance!
| Starburstia chapter 32 . 1/10
That is one weird note from the shadowy gang organization that paid for a swimming pool on the third floor of a sham contest
sent to a boy ina hospital
| Starburstia chapter 31 . 1/10
Wait, wtf happened? I was following up to three chapters ago, when they were making a big buzz about 'safety' and 'not killing contestants' which was understandable, if the point of making a big pool with a fake Lugia wasn't quite. and then suddenly 'Jenny' was panicking about Team Rocket? But it was fake panicking because she was actually a Waytar agent? But the thing is it would be a lot easier just to pick off contestants one by one in utter darkness on the first level rather than go through all that other trouble? Set up doesn't match. What's the deal with all the detail of battles and 'lessons about working together' if the thing is run by team rocket. What's the point of the Persian and payday coins? There's no need for lies of that elaborate nature. Why was Jenny panicking at all? Why was she suddenly murderous? Why ddin't she do this EARLIER, like in the UTTER DARKNESS of the FIRST LEVEL? ?
| vincent1875 chapter 46 . 5/3/2014
Pretty good story. Kept me entertained for most of the week.
| vincent1875 chapter 45 . 5/3/2014
I wonder why Tobias never looked into evolving Jinx.
| vincent1875 chapter 43 . 5/3/2014
I no longer see the significance of a Murkrow starter. As far as I can tell any trained darkling can destroy or leave the shield if they really wanted to. Especially considering that they live so long. It's said that darklings can travel through the shadows, however it's never established that they have to use their starters to do so. What stops a darkling from simply catching a wild murkrow and training it to take them through the shadows? Even without murkrow they could catch a water pokemon like Tobias, surf to the teeth, and use whatever pokemon they want to attack the unown. Even without murkrow they could surf to the barrier have their pokemon use faint attack to the other side and then summon a water or flying pokemon to carry them to shore.
I believe Tobias has been guiding for less than four years. With the life span of darklings they could train entire teams of dark type pokemon and curbstomp the unown. The psychics should be putting down all darklings by my logic.
Also unless Jinx kills the unown what stops them from putting the shield back up when they awaken?
| vincent1875 chapter 42 . 5/3/2014
Tobias continues to surprise me with his stupidity. Why would he plan for the guides in Snowpoint to aid him if he's attacked? He's a criminal. The tarsix can easily just reveal that and have them help her attack. Anyway it seems kind of obvious that the tarsix is being forced to do this with the collar.
Tobias also seems to be proving his selfishness by unilaterally deciding what's best for the entire region. Mainly to make his own life easier.
| vincent1875 chapter 41 . 5/2/2014
Who is Master Shatterglass? I thought the Master of the temple was called Windriver or something like that. Makes me wonder how long between updates it was for you to forget their names.
| vincent1875 chapter 40 . 5/2/2014
You mistakenly refer to the Master in Saltmarsh as Master Goldspur. Goldspur being Tobias' alias. Good so far.
| vincent1875 chapter 37 . 5/2/2014
Tobias can't seriously be stupid enough to still be calling himself Thomas can he? Thomas Goldspur is known to be Tobias Talltree at this point. His pokemon was right. He's too stupid to help.
| vincent1875 chapter 36 . 5/2/2014
She did warn him that she wasn't going. lol. Good so far.
| vincent1875 chapter 33 . 5/2/2014
Already caught? This guy fails at everything he tries.
| vincent1875 chapter 32 . 5/2/2014
My goodness. I didn't realize he was gonna do something so stupid. I thought he just wanted to question it.
| vincent1875 chapter 31 . 5/2/2014
Good so far.
| vincent1875 chapter 30 . 5/1/2014
Hmmm. I guess things did just get real.