|Reviews for Clouded Sky|
| thats-a-moray chapter 2 . 8/19/2006
Interesting. This promises to be a good story, but once again its your style that I like best.
Earlier in the chapter you used 'apparently' a lot. Once you used it in three sentences consecutively.
At the end of the chapter I find it odd that Tobias is so unmoved by the history of his island, but then again I guess he's probably heard it before from his parents. Personally I couldn't stop reading.
| thats-a-moray chapter 1 . 8/19/2006
Well I wanted to go to bed after reading the first chapter, but now you're going to make me read the second one too. XD
| Keleri chapter 35 . 8/18/2006
Oh, I liked this chapter. Very exciting~ I liked how you switched between the battle and the conflict between Tobias and Marcus, it gave it a breathless sort of feel. He just doesn't get a break! I'm very excited after reading in Vanishing Point that Clouded Sky is nearly done, I can't wait to see how it all ends. (And JEEBUS you're hardcore. o.o Nearly two finished stories to your name already.)
-However, sesstra tend to evolve against their guides’ wishes, if only as a joke.-
This is AWESOME. I am going to be very hard-pressed not to steal it for myself, let me tell you. ;)
-Water dribbling messily over its chin instead of shooting out to smack Accemenla back again.-
I think "dribbling" should be "dribbled".
| Sevrius chapter 35 . 8/15/2006
Once again, Jinx's point of view was quite humorous. The chapter seemed a bit repetitive in a few places (mainly from the overuse of a few words).
I can't wait to see what happens to Tobias. IMO, he is able to pass through the barrier, avoid Accemenla's psychic gaze, and survive Alakazam's psychic attack because he is an affinity of darkness. (The Pokemon type, that is.) I'm sort of expecting him to gain a few Dark attacks, though I know that's most likely due to my wild imagination.
| Sevrius chapter 31 . 8/14/2006
Personally, I loved the murder scenes. It's rare to see that in Pokemon fanfiction, especially OC fics. (Not to mention it added the action that most "Action/Adventure" fics lack.)
When I read the first paragraph of Tobias's letter, I thought the letter was from Alex. (I'm still hoping Alex will make another appearence...)
Sometime, would you mind emailing me your "original" ideas for these chapters?
| Sevrius chapter 29 . 8/14/2006
O_O Wow, That was exciting! I had a feeling the Lugia was robotic, but I never expected Jenny to betray her team...
| Sevrius chapter 26 . 8/13/2006
But if Murkrow are so feared, why are they even offered as starters?
As for the Unown tablet, I think it says: "SIX PILLARS/WORLD'S TEETH/COULD WE EVER/MORALS, SO" I'm not so sure on the last line though... It could be a variety of things
| Sevrius chapter 20 . 8/13/2006
I find it quite strange that Tobias would willingly tell the Professors about Waytar, especially after his encounter the previous night.
"Marie and the other two Professors were already seated at the table, as well as the other tow Professors." Just thought I'd point out this sentence. (I'm not sure if you edit previous chapters or not.)
| Sevrius chapter 17 . 8/13/2006
This was a rather humorous chapter, with Tobias's reactions to all of the new technology.
But I thought Tobias introduced himself as "Sean"...
| Sevrius chapter 15 . 8/13/2006
Ack, it appears that Tobias is indeed in Johto. (You had me second-guessing myself...) Anyway, it was a wonderful plot twist, and I'm curious about how Tobias will deal with the advanced technology.
| Sevrius chapter 14 . 8/13/2006
Oh, a tarsier... that makes sense now.
A very interesting chapter. At first I wondered if "outside" could be one of the other three worlds (Kanto, Hoenn, or Johto) but it appears I was wrong.
And I just adore Alsokaran! I like serpents anyway, but his attitude is so cool, and... *continues to rant*
| Sevrius chapter 11 . 8/12/2006
I have a strange feeling that Master Dewshiver tipped off the authorities on Tobias's whereabouts...
I'm having a bit of trouble envisioning Acemenla though. Your description was thorough, but I still can't picture what type of animal she resembles.
Sometime I'd like to draw Waytar's Pokemon... if you wouldn't mind, that is.
| VulpixTrainer chapter 35 . 8/12/2006
Wow, another great chapter... It seems however that he is always on the run, unable to really be able to get far without someone chasing him. I just hope that he can find safety soon. I am really rooting for Tobias to pull through.
| WindieDragon chapter 35 . 8/12/2006
Guess this means I should get back in gear and dig up that sesstra I drew a long time ago... heh summer's made me lazy but school starts this Monday (Aug 14) for me. It feels wierd being a senior... I wish I was a sophomore again! On second thought, maybe I'll draw it again since my skills have improved. Could I ask you to send me details on sesstra and ottical again?
Anyways, enough of my blabbing. Poor Tobias, he just can't seem to have a normal life now can he? I was looking forward to the final battle, hoping a new Pokemon would be revealed. Can't wait to see what happens next. At least you didn't leave us with a giant cliffhanger this time XD.
| Sevrius chapter 6 . 8/11/2006
Poor Tobias, it's like the whole world is conspiring against him.
The explanation of the Waytar justice system seemed to disrupt the rest of the story... Instead of just explaining it, you could mention that Tobias remembered the justice system, and then start an explanation (or something like that).
I think I like Alex more than Tobias *laughs* I can't help but wonder if Alex will betray his new acquaintance though. Sadly, I have to wait until tomorrow to find out. (I really have to go to bed now.) ;_;