|Reviews for Trading Places|
| Kitty Caesar chapter 5 . 7/7/2009
I have to say that I was a little confused at the beginning, but now I have a good idea where this story is going and I like it thus far! :D
Update, please? :3
| Shellyraeleen chapter 5 . 6/21/2005
oh this is an intersting story, has a plot line... uses mainly all of the characters... Tea hasn't been mentioned yet -thats a plus- hm... yup all in all it's pretty good! (could use some pegasus) anyways um can't wait for the next update.
| adele4 chapter 5 . 6/8/2005
Love that Mai-Shizuka parts. Shizuka *is* being cute, but I think that’s pretty much canon. I’d say she wouldn’t help do such a thing to her brother, but on the other hand, I actually can see Mai having bad influence on her – and she hired Bakura and Yami to look after him! Poor Joey... Mokuba and Noa are wonderful, too. And Seto says they’re ‘mere children’. Ts.
I want to cuddle Otogi – he’s being really mean in this chapter, but after the way he accidentally hired Kaiba, I’ve trouble taking him serious.
| Ivory Tears chapter 5 . 6/4/2005
This was a kewl chapter. I really like this story and I hope you're able to update soon. Tootles! _
| DarkShadowFlame chapter 5 . 5/24/2005
Joey: "I'm straight, and that's that." Soo, either a whole lot more than his employment situation changes or Seto has a little operation. ~
My favorite part was realizing Yami and Bakura were hired to follow Joey around. That should be amazingly funny. Of course, I should have realized there was a reason they were in this - and not just to please all the random fans. This is going to get very chaotic, especially once you introduce Yugi and Ryou (as I read in the first chapter authors notes?). Especially when you consider the crazy people you're dealing with here.
The way Rex is acting is a little bit odd - but not in a 'you-messed-up-the-characterization' way; more like in a 'oh-it's-Rex-being-weird-again' way. I am so bad at putting these thoughts into words, but there you have it. It seems apt for the character.
Also, I loved Shizuka and Mai's interaction. Especially Shizuka wondering if she should cut back on the bags while Mai questions how light she can travel. All in all, a cute chapter in a relatively fast-paced and catchy story. Good job!
| imagines writes chapter 5 . 5/24/2005
Dyaahh! Who's Otogi hiring, huh? I wanna knooww! ;-;
*shifty eyes* I'm starting to wonder exactly WHAT Haga does for a living, now. This is making me very curious.
*snicker* I'm also not sure if Ryuzaki is straight. (Actually, now I'm not sure if ANYone besides maybe Jou is straight. O.o) Jou's comment to him made me laugh. XD
| Lyrical Rex chapter 5 . 5/23/2005
Whee! n.n! I forgot for a moment who Ryuzaki was, but now I remember! n.n Ah, poor Joey. And... that's about it. I stil like the story muchos! n.n
| alleywheeler chapter 5 . 5/23/2005
Hey Misura! _ So I read all 5 chapters you have so far and I am wondering why you used Joey's American name and not his real name Katsuya Jounouchi? Or as I like to call him...Jou.
Other than that question...I love it so far and want to see more. Please, please...give me more!
| mandapandabug chapter 5 . 5/23/2005
i liked it! this was a really good chapter! poor Joey! AW! how could Ryuzaki resist Joey! i know i'd never be able to! and neither should Kaiba... be. able.. to... ... whatever! as long as you update i'll be just fine and controled, bbut until then... (voice in head- please update soon! she WILL go crazy if you don't! i mean it! i need more of this too and would very much appreciate it if you'd update son!) did i just spell appreciate right? please tell me in the next chapter because that would make me happy! i love it when i actually spell stuff right! ok i'm done... review you later_
| clarity chapter 5 . 5/23/2005
Sounds like writer's block. But then, you're more used to writing shorts than longer stories. That's probably what you're problem is.
My suggestion is that you should first write out a general brief on the entire story, so you know exactly what you want to do and where it's going. Then following those general guidelines, you add in the details of each chapter.
If that doesn't help you, then I suggest maybe you should consider having someone assist you with the story...get a second opinion on it, chapter by chapter. Fanfic writers do it all the time here. I've been infact helping two other writers, from simple editting to the very plotline. But if you need help with it, let me know...I'll be happy to.
I'd just hate to see you not continue it. It was this story that gave me an idea of one of my own (which I'm still writing. I don't put anything out on the web, until I know for sure I will complete the story).
Good luck! ;)
| imagines writes chapter 4 . 3/8/2005
I. Love. You. You used Haga's proper name! -lickglomptackle- I'm sick of his dub name, I loathe and despise it and consider it a work of Satan! and how dare you say I'm overreacting? -takes deep breath-
I really should lay off the chocolate before I review works of fanfic art. ;
Er, did you already mention who Haga's 'partner' is? If you did, can you remind me, because I think I sorta...forgot, oops? ; And if you didn't, then, well, that's okay...
I also should not review things at 1 am. Or wait until said 1 am to go through the 150 author alerts that have piled up, some of which are yours and I need to read them... I am going to quit rambling now and go to sleep.
| radiany chapter 4 . 3/2/2005
I loved this chapter; it reminds me a hell lot of the beginning.
Generally, I've learned that a story must be clarified (a lot, apparently) in order for the reader to understand the situation at hand. Just keep that in mind when you write another Alternate Universe story. Naturally, I had assumed that "Kaiba" meant "Seto Kaiba”; it was a bit bemusing to possibly most all your readers. On the bright side, this new twist brings on a famished state within me to gorge on information and piece together this puzzle, bit by bit.
Although your characterization is still a bit off from canon, I actually prefer much of it over the original. Even though Gozaburo's description doesn't do him justice (I try to take on a neutral disposition), Jou's somewhat of an overflowing spunk-bucket/smart-aleck/flirtatious sloth, and Kaiba's getting a bit soft around the edges - Ryuzaki is the very image of a indignant coworker-in-denial (as Jacob would say, "snaps for you"), and Haga is so friggin' adorable. I’m quite keen on your Insector; you did a wonderful job with him, though he really doesn't match up with his canon counterpart.
"His voice sounded slightly whiny, though that might be due to its owner considering the situation worthy of whining, rather than due to any defect to his vocal chords."
(INSECTOR HAGA WORSHIP)
I fell in love with that sentence. Though some people may find Haga to be of distaste because of his snobbish temperament and bleeding-ears fussing, I find his antics extremely amusing. (After all, not all people can accomplish a heel-kick while standing on top of a speeding train.) You've managed to mild his behaviour and make him too-cute-for-words; additionally, his searching for a boyfriend as a “present” of sorts makes me laugh. My guess is that he’s trying to get someone for Ryuzaki – I’m assuming because, in Haga’s eyes, dino-brain’s always seems to have a stick up his ass. I’m just surprised that Haga _knew_ Ryuzaki was gay. The method by which he’s searching for his “partner’s” playmate is the entire amusement. Boys. (And even if it’s not Ryuzaki, Haga’s concern causes me to ‘aww.’ I’m curious over why the precocious child decided to seek out Insector, of all people; what does he do?)
In all, I enjoyed the interactions and lenient relationship he has with Mokuba – it definitely fleshes out his character. This only makes me more eager to hear what Insector Haga’s voice sounds like in the Japanese sub. Great job :)
(And perhaps, you would find it in your heart to insert an implied Ryuzaki/Haga scene for future chapters, simply because they’re destined to annoy each other for the rest of their lives. *cough*)
(/END INSECTOR HAGA WORSHIP)
And Ryuzaki. Dinosaur’s original personality is completely shot at this point – but it’s worth it. His adoption of the stereotypical “mother-hen,” and his (denied) worry for Jounouchi transforms him from “peanut-for-a-brain” ignorant follower to sentimental, realistic teenager (yes, he is). Add a few curses and whines and you’re good to go.
I’m also wondering what you’ve done to Gozaburo’s character. I’m sure he has his reasons for having a picture of Seto and Mokuba (of whom I’m interested in; their current residence, way of life – it gives us, the readers, a portrait of them never seen before; Kaiba’s current persona may have used this as a catalyst) in his office; but this makes him seem as if he’s attempting to show internal sympathy and his “loving-uncle” mask. Although this may work to his advantage, I’ve always seen Gozaburo as a ruthless, but surprisingly honest (in his own way) tyrant of the business world. He wouldn’t use such tactics.
Where _is_ Gozaburo, anyway? Hmm.
Either way, what I’m inquisitive about makes no difference to the plot infrastructure. I only hope to see Jou sometime after this entire “getting fired [finally]” incidence and watch him destroy things and grumble (to my own amusement, sadly) – oh, and get to know Kaiba a little better. A little Noa/Mokuba would certainly spice things up somewhat; it would make up for Noa’s random appearance and his elaborated boredom. I’d curious to see how you’ll write out _their_ conversation (ha).
Bah. Sorry to have been chatting for so long – about absolutely nothing. I hope that I didn’t waste too much of your time spent on reading this instead of _writing_ (coughhinthintcough). It’s always a pleasure to see something new and out-of-the-blue.
| pixiestickchild chapter 4 . 3/2/2005
| DarkShadowFlame chapter 4 . 3/2/2005
Oh- like Hamlet? Seto and Mokie's father died, and the evil uncle took over and now Seto wants to get his dad's company back? And, unlike Hamlet, Mokuba is seeing the boy his uncle adopted? Okay, I think I get things now...if I am screwing something up majorly, I hope you won't mind correcting me (again...).
Seto better hope Otogi never asks for, say, an *ID* in that case (although he's probably got a fake?).
Also- Mokuba asks Haga for a security code so Mokuba can sneak into KaibaCorp and visit Noa. That part's almost normal. But Haga wants Mokuba to get his 'partner' a boyfriend? That's bizarre, even for Mr Insect. Who is his partner, anyway- Ryuzaki?
Um, anyway. I like this story - and I have a feeling I'll only end up liking it more. Thanks for the clarification (poor you, having to deal with such slow readers :P). 'Till next update,
| Lyrical Rex chapter 4 . 3/1/2005
Cool, Kaiba not Seto. Would that be gozubora Kaiba or Noa then? *.*; Or somebody else altogether... ?
Anyways, nicely done. n.n!