|Reviews for Tears Of The Okinawan Rose|
| animeboy-12 chapter 1 . 1/31/2006
this is sad...hope u can make a happy mutsumi story...she is one of my faves in love hina...keep it up.
| The Mad shoe1 chapter 1 . 1/1/2006
Aw, poor Mutsumi, this fic was so sweet and so sad.
| Bowling-for-Tomato-Soup chapter 1 . 2/1/2005
This is a very good start! Surprisingly detailed and indepth. You sure did your research here! It would be great if you could continue this story.
| Mantis Man chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
It's hard to say if Mutsumi is OOC or not - I think it's a widely accepted fact that Mutsumi is more perceptive, deep, and aware than she usually lets on. It's not too terribly hard to imagine her thinking and saying these things, particularly after the end of the series, by which time she will no doubt have matured even more.
In either case though, this is a promising concept and is off to a good start. Stay with it :)
| Liber Logaeth chapter 1 . 12/10/2004
Your tale is magnificent! It's a wonderful view about my favourite female from Love Hina, the spetacular Mutsumi Otohime. And I don't mind if Mutsumi is out of character in your tale, the narrative is so pretty... Oh, I'm writing a tale about Love Hina too, called "Your Orders", and I'm using a innerself view for each characters, as you did for Mutsumi. I hope you go on the saga, I send you lots of greetings for this story.
| notconfident chapter 1 . 11/30/2004
-blinks- blinks- Wow... so describtive; and Mutsumi does belong to Keitaro... even if I'm a Motoko fan, I still think Mutsumi derserves better! LoL... the 2nd best couple would be Motoko and Keitaro, Mutsumi and Kei seems to first, anyways.. its hard to believe this is your first fanfic... no really... it's actually amazing, my first time was horrible... even I can't write like this! Oh well... I'm still 12 so I've got lots to learn!
| Artful chapter 1 . 11/30/2004
Aw... so cute. _ M... you're doing OK on the descriptive parts, but your exposition needs work. Your sentences are short and you're stating things too directly. Example of what to avoid:
The CIA secret agent crept down the corridor. He had ten seconds to defuse the bomb. He knew that if he didn't the president would die. Doctor Strangelove would then rule the world. He couldn't let that happen.
You need to improve your flow, see?
For a first effort, this is really good. If you keep at it I'm sure you'll be wonderful in time.
| Innortal chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
First off, you did an excellent job. You showed Mutsumi's pain quite well, as well as her rememberances of her time with Keitaro.
If you want to continue this particular story line, you have three options.
One, she watches Keitaro get married and resigns herself to waiting until Naru's insecurities causes them to seperate.
Two, she professes her love to him before the wedding and hopes he runs off with her.
Three, the elderly town council (guys always in fog) allow her to wake up the day she met Keitaro again (the trip when Naru and keitaro both failed the exam or when he ran into her during the anime and thought he had killed her) and gives her a chance to win his heart. After all, Naru had her chance, so why shouldn't she.
Either way you go, I am certain you will do well. This story shows you have a lot of talent. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
Viva la Fan Fic de Love Hina
| Cizzymac chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
Very, very well done. Excellent presentation of an underdeveloped part of the LH story. Hope to read more of your work in the future.
| GentleDarknessHaou chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
Well-written angst piece you have here; I like the title to the fic, too! Reading this has reinforced my belief that Mutsumi deserves to be Keitaro's significant other. The compatibility potential for these two is blatantly obvious: they're meant for each other. Keitaro should not settle for anyone less, especially the self-righteous shrews known as Naru and Motoko. Nothing short of brilliant, I say.
| GlazedAndConfused chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
Hm... good work, oneechan. You did better than I would have done at writing this fanfic. Well-written, good overall focus on Mutsumi. I don't really think you wrote her out of character. However, I can't see her acting like that in the manga. She's not very... um... self-centred (for lack of a better analogy). Anyway, don't take that as a criticism, as that's not hindered this story in any way. At least, I don't think so.
Overall, a good start to fanfic writing.
| TornadoReviewer chapter 1 . 11/29/2004
MY FAVOIRITE LH GIRL IS MUTSUMI!
That's why the firs thing I'm going to say that this Ffic is really a tribute to a lovely and cute Love Hina girl-Mutsumi.
I mean there aren't many Ffics that focus directly on if I can find one in witch Mutsumi appears , she only plays a 'secondary role'.
This Ffic is truly a tribute to written as a whole and good focus on Mutsumi first Ffic , hehe hard to belive:)
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!