|Reviews for Grey|
| Nyajiou chapter 10 . 10/7/2016
Well, rather than a Mary-Sue, she's a very interesting character.
| Viviennevivienne chapter 25 . 6/28/2015
Chapter 26: Yose
Hanging up the phone, Hikaru lay awake. He felt like there's a hole in his chest, like there's something he needed to do, something he needed to say, but he didn't know what. He lay there, listening to the spring rain on the roof and trying to recall fragments of absolutely nothing at all.
He shifted the covers off restlessly and eyed the clock; it's only 5:14 am. He had Shidougo later. Fabulous, he thought. He folded the sheets back over his futon and smoothed them out uselessly, then lied gingerly on top of them. He thought about going back to sleep. He thought about his last game with Akira, which was already a month ago. It wasn’t even a good game - he was busier questioning Akira about his engagement than concentrating on the game itself. Then he thought about a life without Akira. Sure, Akira would still be around, the two would continue to play, but Akira would be with someone else – Akira would belong to someone else. Touya Akira had never been his, at least never that way, still, his heart clenched at the thought, just the same way it did again and again over the last month. He pretended that nothing happened at all – he even pretended to cheer for his rival. But pretending had never been his strength, and even if it had been, ultimately, how could one ever succeed in cheating himself?
10:13. It was still raining and Akira hadn’t arrived yet. He called his student to cancel their Shidougo session. He went into the kitchen, made tea and filled two cups before he went back into the living room and looked out. Just then he saw a familiar thin frame in soaking grey suit running in pouring rain from the parking lot across the street heading towards his department buildings. Idiot, he's going to be sick again, Hikaru thought. Some minutes later, the doorbell rang.
“Change into some warm clothes inside so you don't get sick and die!” Hikaru said, rolling his eyes even though his voice lacked bite.
They're silent all the way to Hikaru's bedroom. He could hear Akira peeling off rubbery clothing behind him, but it didn't really register until he turned around and saw him unbuttoning his shirt, water running down his chin and continuing in slow rivulets down his chest, pale from the cold. He shoved the clothes into Akira's arms, but Akira just looked at him with a sad, open look and said “I'm sorry, Shindou, I'm sorry. Even I don’t know what I’ve done and why.”
"I heard you were staying with your fiancé..." he said.
"I was." Akira said, tugging him all the way in. "But after that I realized, clearer than ever before that I —"
"Shh," Hikaru said, smoothing his hair back from where it's plastered to his forehead. "You don't have to say anything."
"No," Akira murmured, dropping all the clothes in a pile and stepped closer. He tugged Hikaru's palm up to the center of his chest. Hikaru drew in a gasp and curls his hand open against Akira's skin, clammy and freezing, but still somehow warm and touchable and everything Hikaru's been wanting for longer than he even knew. Akira felt like his lungs were capsizing, it was so hard to remember to breathe. "I do. I need you to know—"
"I know." Hikaru whispered. "Because you’re here now I know." Hikaru had always been capable of reading deep into the game. “Touya...” The name hung in the air between them, either much too formal or much too casual for the situation, Akira wasn’t sure which.
That was better. Akira smiled, and he replied, easily and with gentleness that he thought he had never seen in himself before but began to realise was part of him, whenever it came to Shindou Hikaru. "Hikaru."
Hikaru leant forward and gently kissed the mouth that had held his name a fraction of a second earlier. Akira’s lips tasted like rainwater and were soft and parted under his to allow tongues to meet, making his body both hard and liquid. His hand left Akira’s cheek to cup the back of his neck instead, fingers gently finding their way into Akira’s hair. Akira moaned into the motion, his entire front was pressed against Hikaru’s, his fingers combed through Hikaru’s hair and stroked the back of his neck, locked around Hikaru’s head as though afraid Hikaru would pull out of the kiss. Something warm and golden spread through Akira’s heart: he wanted to have more of this, because it meant Hikaru would breathe life back into him, the way Hikaru had breathed life into his Go.
And Hikaru suddenly did - he took a step back, and Akira just stood there with his hands outstretched and frozen in mid-air, staring confusingly at him. Hikaru thought he had never seen anything as fantastic, as insanely desirable as this in his life: Touya Akira, shirtless and slender, the sun was throwing golden beams on his pale smooth skin and wet dark hair. Akira had alway beens beautiful, Hikaru knew it. He had just never seen how beautiful. My God, he saw it now. He could have passed out.
"Akari was right. About her being the second best.”
Before Akira could react, Hikaru stepped forward and hungrily kissed Akira again, his fingers entangling in the soft wet silk of Akira’s hair.
"Second best?" Akira asked, breathless, and he felt his heart speed up, his face went even hotter.
Hikaru said while cupping Akira’s face in his hands, his lips merely a milimeter away from Akira’s. "I always picked you first. I always-it was always about you and Go and—I can’t stand the idea you’ll belong to someone else."
“Was it the reason why you went to Innoshima again?” Without moving away from Akira’s lips, Hikaru nodded. “Stupid Hikaru!” Akira scowled, sounding as though he was seventeen all over again. “You just have to tell me! Then I’ll be yours through and through.” I had always been yours through and through. Akira looked deep into his rival’s jaded puppy eyes, brushing lightly on his lips and cheeks. He’d never given those loving gestures to anyone before, but it just happened to him so naturally, as naturally as how one learned to breath. All of a sudden, Hikaru felt as though he was seventeen all over again.
“Be mine, then.”
He pulled Akira with him towards the bed, and they reeled and stumbled over each other’s feet as they couldn’t bear to let go of each other even for a second. Akira let himself fall on his back on the bed, pulling Hikaru down on top of him, and they struggled blindly out of their remaining clothes. Hikaru licked Akira’s nipples, ran his tongue down Akira’s lean stomach, let his teeth nip at Akira’s hipbone and his fingers caressed the silky inside of Akira’s thigh... Akira’s erection was aligned with his cheek and Hikaru could feel the warmth of it. Hikaru could smell him, faintly, like the sea in late summer.
Akira’s fingers were bunching the bed sheet. He couldn't stop shivering and moaning at the ever more urgent movements of Hikaru. Akira couldn’t believe he’d ever wanted anything this badly besides Go. It's a good thing that Kinume wasn't in the country, he thought abruptly, so she wouldn't discover what her father and his rival were up to. But then he thought: what did it matter, she already knew - she even knew it before he did, and he didn't want to love Shindou Hikaru, he didn't want to, but he did and he did so much.
"Just do it, Hikaru! I want you, I don’t care if it hurts."
Touya Akira in bed wasn’t that different from Touya Akira at the Go board, Hikaru thought. He could be endlessly calm, perfectly polite and constantly upright with all other people, but he’d never been with Hikaru. With Hikaru, he wanted everything to happen and he wanted everything to happen at once.
So Hikaru did it. He made it happen.
Hikaru told Akira the story, all of it, as the rain stopped, as rays of the sun came out, as they slided careful fingers over each other's skin.
The wonder of it, Akira thought, was not that a ghost taught Hikaru to play Go, or even that Hikaru trusted him enough to let him carry the secret of Honinbou Shuusaku himself. The wonder was that Hikaru told him with the sun stippling his hair and his voice hoarse from having Akira's name on it all day. That he told him with Akira’s head resting on his chest and his arms wrapping around Akira’s waist and his knees bumping against Akira's where they were tangled together. That he told him holding Akira's hand.
And somewhere during the middle of Hikaru's fifth or sixth attempt to explain in halting, fumbling words why he had to take over from Sai, why he had to play Akira for himself, Akira realized that if a Divine Move truly existed, then Hikaru had just made it—or that maybe they'd been making it together, all along.
Akira reached blindly and cut Hikaru off with a kiss, shoving reassurance at Hikaru with his lips, his hands, his eyes, his game, his life, trying to imprint I love you, I love you, I love you on Hikaru with them all.
Later on that day, Touya Akira had his game. The days to follow were not gonna be easy, he thought, about plans to be cancelled, arrangements to be made and declarations to be stated. But Touya Akira had his game, and he was to have endless games with his Shindou Hikaru, in Go and in life, and that was all he wanted – though it took him almost half of his life to realize, he knew it now, and that was just as clear to him as black and white, and that was all he ever needed to know. And nothing else mattered.
| Vivienne chapter 25 . 6/20/2015
First: thanks for writing such a great story! I enjoyed it greatly and lost count of the times i reread it.
Come on people, this does not end with a cliffhanger - there is no need for upadtes, because the story ends here. And beautifully, in my opinion.
Akira apparently had sex with the girl - what else made he stay up at 4 in the hotel lounge in the night? And the panic, the worries and regrets explained it too (kind of "what should I do now? I slept with her...but I do not love her...all I can think of now is SHINDOU"). But the sex was absolutely essential for Akira: he knew now where his heart belonged. I found the plot truly believable and deep: both Akira and Hikaru had been together with other people, but in the end, they realized who's THE ONE for them. It sure took a long time, but well worth it.
And no, I don't think Akira's gonna drive six hours only to play a game. Well maybe they'd play a game but there would be definitely more than just that. After all, Hikaru knew now that Akira did not love the girl - he ran away from her, and straight back to him - remember: six hour drive in the night! Akira now knew Hikaru's affection for him - through the jealousy (" . ?", stop playing Akira for a month), the despair (travelling to Innoshima).
So the story ended here, but reading deeper, you could see that Hikaru and Akira finally found each other. There are lines that are left unwritten, but they are there, so let me write them down, as they are quite obvious: Akira arrived at Hikaru's after six hour driving. They played a game and the conversation during the game was sort of a confession. They might kiss then or later, it doesn't matter, but Akira'd call off the wedding. OR: They kissed the second they saw each other at the entrance, because no more words are needed. Either way, Akira'd go: "I'm playing with Shindou for the rest of my life, and my love stays within the stones, and yes, screw all the rest!"
Prove me i'm wrong but I seriously doubt you can .
| Hikari-Pandora chapter 25 . 8/2/2011
Poor Touya...he just can't seem to build a life and the worst part is that he should have given up on marrying a stranger from the start. They didn't even seemed to understand each other not talking about love, but that primary thing needed to make a possibly peaceful home, that mutual understanding over some things, even without love, like Akira's passion for GO which incidentally isn't just his work and dominates his life. you have to pity someone like that. He seems to love go and Hikaru far more than anything in his life. Not saying that he should become physical about it, it just seems to me as though he's becoming dependent on these two factors and whenever one is unbalanced it affects him. It's actually just Hikaru cause go is the more constant thing in his life, but isn't Akira's passion for go mostly driven by him? It's possible that go and Hikaru are actually equating to the same thing in his mind, who knows... It's a bit endearing and some part frustrating, but Akira is still as intense and interesting as ever, even with his strange life and his unique faults. They are so human, Hikaru and Akira, perhaps that's why i like them so much in the first place. Thanks for this intriguing, complicated story! I love the undertones of Sai's mystery continuing to grow through Kinume and she herself becoming more if a mystery as she grows into a strong young woman. When i think about it, your portrayal of women in general seems to always be infused with a certain doze of mystery or at least that's how I see it. Anyway thanks, I've had fun and would gladly wait to read more of this story someday.
Matta itsuka ni!
| Nocturnal Smile chapter 25 . 6/11/2011
This has really been fascinating, I love how their relationship always gets closer but never quite reaches the lover stage-it's a lovely balance you've got going on. Really nice work!
| Nerisel chapter 25 . 8/9/2010
What I love about this fic is the deeprooted bonds that are conveyed in this story and the pace. Even though the time line keeps skipping ahead, there's a flow in this story that really makes it easy to read and enjoy. It's truly enchanting.
| Summercloud chapter 25 . 7/10/2009
Whew! This story takes my breath away. Is Kinume actually Sai, or is he just haunting her? What the hell happened between Akira and Sakamoto? And will Hikaru and Akira ever actually get together? Gah!
Your writing, and plotting, is masterful. I think maybe I read this long ago, when there was much less of it, and it's way better now. I'm enthralled! But it looks like maybe you're not updating anymore... if you should happen to change your mind, I'd love to read more. Thanks for sharing what you do have.
| MadaMag chapter 25 . 6/20/2009
Gr... another well written story, that break before end, for no reason?
Why there's so much good Hikaru no go unfinished?
Do you plan to ever finish it? Would you notice me about it? Please? With cherry on top?
| Ranuel chapter 25 . 2/28/2009
I have mixed feelings about the story so far. It's a bit angsty for my taste with poor Touya living half his life alone and Shindou in a bad marriage. The character of the daughter is really interesting though and not as much of a Mary Sue as you implied she might be in your note. The idea that Shindou's daughter would be a chess wiz is clever and original. I would have liked to have seen Akari as a three dimensional person earlier in the story. The scene with her at the go salon was really well done. I've been telling myself for the last couple of chapters to reserve judgment until I see how it plays out only to find that the story was abandoned over three years ago so I'm left adrift. I hope they manage to salvage something of a happy ending. I'm going to subscribe to it anyway in the hopes that one day we'll see how it ends.
| BluePhoenixFairy chapter 25 . 10/11/2008
this is getting interesting now
i like i like
update soon plz
its kinda a lil sad but its a good story * sad refering to some of the events...*
| harukohaha chapter 25 . 7/16/2008
This has got to be one of the most beautiful HnG fics I've read. Very good pace and great development. I hope you decide to continue it.
| HidingOut chapter 25 . 6/23/2008
I want to cry. Not because I'm sad but because I'm SO frustrated. And I really REALLY hope he didn't actually sleep with her. Please, God, NO!
The story is amazing, and more complicated and bittersweet and realistic then anything I have read in a while, both in the HNG fandom or otherwise. AND, I REALLY want more. Please, Update!
There are so many aspects in this that I like. Like how Hikaru and Akari DID get together as per canon but it didn't work out which would be the realistic view on their relationship. I LOVE the way Sai is back without REALLY being back, since we don't see things from his point of view. I can't wait until Akira finds out about Sai. I like the subtle way the AkiHika is in there, but at the same time it isn't fluff, quiet the opposite, its pretty bitter, especially when you take into consideration that Akira is a 36 year old single male with no previous relationship to speak off. I liked how everything was going, and I even LOVE the new twist BUT i still hope that Akira would somehow come to his senses and not do something stupid like go through with the marriage, or accidentally get her pregnant because that would really make me cry, and not happy, sad or relieved tears, but angry ones. The fiance isn't BAD or EVIL or anything but she is clearly not for him. PLEASE save him from a life of polite conversations in his own home and no chance to EVER relax and be himself.
PS. Update? please? I kinda realized that you dropped this, but MAYBE, HOPEFULLY, SOMEHOW I'm wrong, and in fact you finished this but on some other server or SOMETHING!
| Novocain chapter 25 . 5/3/2008
Ack! NO! Please don't tell me this is abandoned! It's so lovely, and it really drew me in in a fantastically brilliant way. He slept with Sakamoto and is freaking, and now we need to know if he's calling it off. He needs to admit that he loves Hikaru!
In other news, this story is beyond excellent. Your style and characterization - especially your characterization - are really great.
| Novocain chapter 22 . 5/3/2008
NO! THEY BELONG TOGETHER!
...Okay, wow. I just sounded like a really huge fangirl. Normally, I'm okay with Hikaru not always being with Akira. But the way you've written this - THEY BELONG TOGETHER!
I've just got to hope that they'll get together later in the story.
| hikarusai chapter 25 . 9/25/2007
Great story,I wish there were more though