|Reviews for Strength|
| justforcomment chapter 1 . 8/19/2010
not my liking.. i dont see any pair here at all... never.. it would be the worse, terrible, and oddest pair with no spark at all... shampoo should be with mousse... or ranma.. now thats something
| UMM chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
WELL, ITS A GOOD THING THIS ISNT A LOVE STORY, CAUSE THAT WOULD REALLY SUCK BIG TIME. SHAMPOO IS FOR MOUSSE AND RANMA.
AND RYOGA FOR UKYO IN THE ANIME
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
He threw himself in the projectiles' line of attack and was shot through the lungs.
[Merely being shot in the lungs wouldn’t necessarily mean death; hitting one of the major arteries leading from the lungs to the heart _would_, and is typically the cause of bleeding to death from penetrating chest wounds]
Shampoo was always in our way,
[Wow, way to ‘respect the dead’ (or bash the character)]
and I had housed Mut-Su.
[Mutsu or Mu-tsu, depending on if you _really_ feel like throwing hyphens in character names]
"Xian was my granddaughter …"She was having an unlawful relationship,
[From what basis? Why is this being brought up as the last acts to remember the dead by? It’s not remaining true to the Far Eastern tradition of esteeming the departed, and looks like continuing character bashing. Besides the fact that her having an affair is extremely OOC and you didn’t bother going through the effort to legitimize such an alteration by leading into it with logical steps from the canon base]
Dry, flat narrative with barely a hint of remaining true to the original. The Nerima Wrecking Crew had socially distraught lives, messed up as they may have been, but they were still a tightly knit group (hence the fan-made nickname NWC). You’ve butchered the characters and their relationships and even done a pretty bad job of bashing/murdering the characters. Ryouga’s end was glossed over and you seemed to take a pleasure from illegitimizing Shampoo (which, by extension, taints every single character tied to her from Ranma to Ryouga) and giving her a pathetic death, which (since it was the same incident as Ryouga) also cheapens his death. I also want to point out that while Mousse may be the least disinclined of the cast to using guns, it’s still not his character.
| Nowhere Lass chapter 1 . 8/19/2002
*sniffles and tears form in eyes* they're dead! *sniffles* *chucks the computer out the window cause it said shampoo and ryouga are dead* whaaaa!
| Dark Master Schmidt chapter 1 . 9/9/2001
Aww, how touching. If I wasn't a killer myself I would be crying right now...
| Ucchan chapter 1 . 5/15/2001
*eyes turn very watery and Ucchan starts crying her head off* How could you! My darling Ryochan! The world is ending! So depressed! NOOOOOOOOOO! MOUSSE, you #$ #! YOU SHALL PAY 50 BILLION TIMES MORE THAN MY DARLING!. *runs off into the night* good story, but Ryoga...dead? NO WAY!
| Shade Mimir chapter 1 . 4/6/2001
! T-T YOU'RE EVIL! _
| Getzeye Dragon chapter 1 . 4/6/2001
| ashez2ashes chapter 1 . 3/17/2001
Ok, I'm going to be truthful here so please don't take offense ok? I'm not trying to be mean, just give some helpful advice.
You've got some characterization problems here. Its really farfetched for Mousse to shoot anyone, he's actually not THAT bad of a person. He's also one of the smartest in Nerima and knows that a gun wouldn't make Shampoo love him. But it's not impossible (nothing's impossible) for him to do it, you just need to show how he changed from what we knew him. Show the readers how he fell over the edge.
Your dialouge also sounds a little forced, especially the news broadcast. Think about how news broadcasts actually sound. They use big words and EXTREMELY proper English. Your normal dialouge is all right, but you might want to varry your sentence structure, add some compound sentences etc etc. It makes it sound more interesting.
All in all, it was an interesting short fic. I hope I didn't make you angry or hurt your feelings or anything.
Oh and one more peice of advice, NEVER be discouraged by something a reviewer tells you. _
| Renyard Al Fiona chapter 1 . 2/27/2001
*Sigh* It could happen. 'Wonderfully depressing' as some friends of mine put it. The format is a little confusing, what with the endless 'talking heads,' but I understand why you made that choice. I would suggest using some descriptive prose as well as the dialouge, in the future, but I like it as is too. Great little fic, this.
| Lizmun chapter 1 . 2/26/2001
Waaah! What's with these fics and trying to make me cry! **Whacks the fic with a paper fan** Nyo! Bad! ... *blinks then huggies the fic* I sowwy! youse a good widdle ficcie, but you made me sad! *sniffles* Wait! I know who's to blame! Cc! First Depression now this! No fair, No fair, no fair! But I still lubbed it! I don't doubt that Ryouga would do this without any hesistation. But why didn't Cologne say anything about Ryouga? I mean, one would think that because he was killed innocently by an Amazon, that the tribe may feel... what's the word... in debt? I don't know. *shruggies* Anyway... dun mind my previous actions.. 5 day internet withdrawl tends to do this to me _
| lija chapter 1 . 2/25/2001
That was very unexpected.